Middle of the Night Wakings That I Can't Stop with a 2 Year Old!

I just wanted to let you know that i'm in the same boat -- except i have a 2.5 yr old AND an 18 month old who do the same thing. I'm also pregnant--and really, really sick. The milk thing started when i first got pregnant because i was desperate for them to be quiet so i could get some sleep and puke in peace. Now they both will not go to bed without it!

I'm really interested in what the other mom's have to say. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone...

Ooof. I am right there with you. Is this a typical 2.5yo thing?
Our son started a couple months ago waking up anytime between 130 and 4am. It was a disaster, especially on work nights. We had to do something. Our first success was to keep his door all the way open. Our room is right across the hall. We keep our door open too. If he wakes up we call out "it's ok," or "time to sleep," "you're alright..."
The main thing is NOT going in to his room. It is all over if he sees us. Obviously you have to assess whether there is anything else wrong, but when he is calling out "i wanna walk..." "i wanna play..." it is obviously unacceptable. we try to keep it as low key as possible. Sometimes he cries, especially the first time we did this, but far far better than starting several hours of calming, soothing, story, or whatever else, plus time for mom and dad to settle down after the whole ordeal. He might cry for a few minutes, but then he goes down again. Better to have 15 minutes of this than hours of dealing with it otherwise.
Hang in there. Develop a plan before you go to bed and stick to it. It is VERY hard to think about the best way to handle the situation when awoken in the wee hours of the night.

I loved the idea of less and less milk in the cup for several nights ~ brilliant!

I, too, went through the same thing with my daughter at that age and I was also pregnant. I sometimes would quietly cry at her beside (in the dark, mind you) as I was so tired. Finally, I just told her she had the option of water and nothing else. I chose water because she didn't want it. We had one night of hysterical crying where I went back in my room, turned down the monitor, and would doze for 10 mins, checking in when I'd wake. I went in a few times to reiterate that we weren't drinking at night and even started naming people (my husband, her grandmother, her friends) and telling her that they were all sleeping and would drink in the morning. She eventually got so tired she fell asleep, and the next night she was so *overtired* that she slept through the night.

Good luck to you ~ it's a common stage but it's an ugly one. There's no easy way past it but you are right to try and nip it in the bud while you still have one. Be strong and the few hours of broken sleep will yield better times.

Hugs,
L.

Hi C.,
My boys are older now, but I would purchase a small (lunch box size or smaller) cooler, put a bit of ice or a cold pack and her sippy cup. Tell her if she wakes up her drink is in there (you can make it special for only her with the new baby coming). Then, after a while, I would gradually decrease the amount I put in it, even thinning it with water. There are many people who wake with legitimate thirst in the night, so I wouldn't totally deny it. My husband is a dentist, and the "pooling" of milk which hangs out in a bottle filled mouth is more of a problem than a quick drink in the night. She may also be using it as a way to "see" you. You'll know which it is if this idea works. L. :)

I know it's hard, but don't give in. Most children give up after 2 or 3 nights of not getting their way. It may mean listening to a screaming fit for several hours/night but it's worth it. Be ready for some heart-tugging sobbing from your little one, but do not give in. Just make sure you go into the room every 15 minutes or so and give her a hug and lay her back down in the crib/bed. She knows what 'no' means and this is a battle of the wills. A couple of sleepless nights now will save you all kinds of stress later on.

All three of my sons did the same thing. The 'war' lasted from one night (first child) to 4 1/2 with the third. Some kids are just more persistent. Hopefully you can outlast your toddler. Good luck and congratulations.

I really think this is something she WANTS vs. something she NEEDS. I would stop giving her anything at all - when you start potty training and want her dry at night, you are not going to want to provide all this water, even a sippy cup, in the middle of the night. It's time to get her OUT of the habit but stressing that it is night time, and that means time to sleep, not to cry, not to socialize, not to get you up. There are a million sleep-training techniques and books, and you may even have used one of them when she was younger. Find the one you are most comfortable with (e.g., some people do Cry It Out, some people don't like that but do another one). You need the rest, and so does your daughter. You said it yourself - "a very smart two-year-old" - and she's controlling you, not the other way around! Good luck - I know it isn't easy, but this will continue for years otherwise, and you will already have a lot on your hands with a newborn.

Ooops. I had responded to a different message in the wrong space....

It's not going to be easy. You can give her water in a sippy cup and leave it with her at night and tell her that the water is the only thing she is going to get. She will cry and wail and get angry and it might happen a couple of nights perhaps 3 or 4, but once she finally understands that your no means no and that she isn't getting anything else, this will end and the night wakings will probably end too. She'll finally know that it isn't worth getting up in the middle of the night if she can't have milk. So, it will be hard for a few nights, but will be worth it. Habits are hard to break and it usually takes 3-4 nights to break this kind of a habit. Consistency is key. Don't give in. You will already have another baby in the house, you don't need two. Good luck and remember, mommy knows best and no means no, and it is okay if your two your old is upset, she is trying to get her way.

I know what you're going through. My son likes to get up to have milk in the middle of the night and will scream if he doesn't get it. My husband always gives in and since I'm with the baby(8 months) i tell him he has to deal with it. What we have done is to will a cup mostly with ice, and then some mik and water. He takes a sip before he goes to bed and then if he wakes up he takes a sip of his watered down still cold milk. It helps for us. With all the ice we put in it there's no worry about the milk going bad or it hurting his teeth.
we have tried telling him that he'll get bugs in his teeth but he doesn't care about that.
You could try just giving ice water in the sippy cup and eventually she'll stop asking. We have also told him we don't have any milk but that doesn't work.
Good luck with the new baby and with your 2 year old.

i would try flavored water and water it down with plain water. if she will drink it an dkeep it in a sippy she can have in bed with her. works well with mine they can find it on thier own. I have the benefit of bad hearing so I don't hear then wake during the night now that they are both in thier own rooms.

I went through the same thing not too long ago with my 2 yr old son. He would wake in the night asking for milk. I also, at first, gave it to him then it turned into an every night thing. So I put a sippy cup of water in his bed but he didn't want any of that.
I finally realized I'm just going to have to say no and stick with it. It didn't take long (maybe a week or two) and now he doesn't even wake anymore.
It will get better. Good luck!

I had a similar problem just before MY second was born-- are you nursing, or giving her milk from a cup/bottle? It is tough when you say no to a mostly-asleep child, because she gradually becomes more awake! I would have dad respond, since he will be doing most of the toddler care for the days after the baby is born, and offer warm water (less jarring than cold). Also, does she wake at approximately the same time each night? My pediatrician told me to wake her up just before the time slot she often came to us, and just offer her water and she'd go back to sleep. (In our case, it was night terrors every night-- VERY scary and exhausting.) Good luck!

Hi C.!

I have to agree with Diane. Our 18 month old has spells of time when she will wake repeatedly in the middle of the night--just for our attention. What the pediatrician told us to do is this--go in for no more than 10 minutes (pref. 5-8) to reassure her that you are still around. You may take her out of bed and hold her for a couple of minutes, but then do your normal bed routine and put her right back down. Do not remove her from the room, do not give her anything, don't turn on the lights, etc.. This worked for us the first few go 'rounds we had of this behavior. Recently, she started again, and she would still wake several times per night--and even got to the point where she would cry immediately after we left the room. Nobody was getting any sleep. So one night I simply didn't go into her room. She screamed and cried off and on (mostly on) for about 2 hours--she hasn't done it since that night. It had gotten to the point that her entire focus was to get us into her room for those few minutes; so we took them away. We have had quiet nights for over a week now.

Good luck, and congratulations on your new addition!

Since you already started with the behavior the easiest thing I would suggest is over 3 or 4 days watering down the milk. You stated she goes right back to bed. Typically I am a cold turkey kinda girl but my need for sleep has become a bigger priority in my later years and I had a baby this past year and remember all to well the last few weeks of my pregnancy. You also stated she was very smart and of this I have no doubt so I would suggest you make up the mixture ahead of time and have it on hand. Best of luck. Mary