Middle Child Feeling Left Out

Don't read too much into him feeling left out. It's normal he wants to copy. I think parents are more programmed to think middle kids are left out than they really are. You sound positive and attentive already, my son is 2 1/2 and so far fine without classes because he and I hang around a lot together while big sis is off to daycare and classes, and little sis is just a baby. I probably spend the most time with him, but will put him in daycare when he seems to want friends. All is good now. One on one time is most important for him-great work!

Is he in Preschool?
Maybe even 2-3 times a week, half days would be good for him... it would be HIS thing, HIS routine, HIS friends and HIS activity...

Gymboree classes are also great... if they have one in your area.
http://www.gymboreeclasses.com/index.jsp

I totally understand this. I have five kids 9,7, 4, 2.5 and 17 months. At one point or another all the kids hav efelt this way. We try very hard to spend time one on one even if it's jsut to walk to the mailbox and back (about 5 minutes with each of the kids and also include activities that each of the kids enjoy in our family routine. We also explain as best we can that not everything is right for everyone. This became really apparent this last year as our two year old had many medical issues. Our 4 year old boy wanted to be in the hospital too and has even asked for a feeding tube in his stomach that he can get special food through. This broke my heart to hear him say this. We told him that although his sister needs this and mommy and daddy need to stay with her when she is at the hospital we love him very much too and try to give him extra hugs and stories at bedtime. Although the first two did not do preschool we did enroll our 4 year old, partly out of necessity as I was often at the doctors and partly so he can have something that belongs to him. Perhaps when big sister has a dance recital, little brother can put on a performance at home or at the park for grandparents and other special people who come to the recital. Make a big deal and brign cupcakes to celebrate HIS accomplishment even if is being super-fast on the slide. Most of all love you kids and do your best and it will all work out.

I have two friends that had this problem. Typical middle child syndrome.
One friend had 3 kids, the other one had 5 kids (the two middle kids here displayed middle child syndrome).
It's simply the dynamics of the birth order and there is a fairly easy fix: you must spend one on one time w/this child now before the baby comes AND after the baby comes which will be much harder.
You don't need to spend extra money & time signing him up for classes.
It's the attention that matters and makes a different.
In both friends' families I mentioned, I paid EXTRA attention to those kids and they ended feeling a close attachment. Interesting if you think about it as the ONLY thing I did was pay extra special attn to them. I would say hello to them the minute I saw the family saying their name and asking them how they were before I addressed all the other kids.
I didn't take them on play dates or buy them presents. I simply singled them out each and every time I say them and paid extra attention to them.
To this day those middle children ask for me, are bummed when I don't show up to a family function etc. I saw these kids flourish in my presence simply from attention like giving a plant water and sunshine. Sounds simple. It can be for the most part. So I say save your money on classes and you spend extra time when you can with this child. I think the extra time and special attention will prove to pay off.
Good luck and hang in there you have your hands full with your family. :)

spend some one on one time with him, it doesnt have to be an organized activity or anything. go for a walk with him after dinner for a half hour, bring him on some errands or to the playground or whatever. a little goes a long way.

My kids are the exact same ages (including anothe ron the way ;-)). I think it's really normal for a 3 year old to want to emulate the older sibling. We have noticed though that he does much better if he gets individualized attention - whether it be reading a book, playing a game, etc. I just signed him up for soccer (there's a place called lil kickers by me that doesn't require parent assisted at 3 years old). Preschool helps. I'm also in my local MOMS club and the rest of the kids in the club are all around 3, so when we do club activities, it's actually my oldest that feels left out because the 3 year old is running around with all of his friends.

A easy fix to this is to just spend one-on-one time w/him. Take advantage of the time that your husband is home & each of you make a point to spend a bit of time alone w/him. We have 2 boys who just LOVE to 'help' Daddy around the house....even if it's just picking up the dog poop in the backyard! Both our boys really help my husband w/home improvement projects. He lets them use his tools ( while highly supervised) & do the parts of the project that are easy enough for them. They both pull out all of their 'tools' ( the cute little plastic enes) & work along side Daddy using them. They both started doing this at about 3 yrs old. They're now 9.5 & 5 & have moved onto using child-sized real tools but it's been a great way for them to spend time together, especially since my husband works long hours during the week & usually only sees them an hour or so before they go to bed.

While it's important to give each of your children individual attention (which is probably going to be very tough with 4!) It is also important to teach children that FAIR doesn't always mean that everybody gets the same thing. Life isn't always fair. Kids participate in different things because of their different interests, abilities and needs. I always told my daughter, "Fair doesn't mean that everyone gets the same things, it's when everyone gets what they need"

Your 3yr old not only is requiring his own attention, he is in between two other young age kids - It's tough, but spending one on one time with him is probably better than enrolling him in something distant. He just needs mommy to play with him or something - just him! Can your husband help with the other two while you just run around and play catch with him.