Menopause & Raising Children

N.,

I went through "Premature Ovarian Failure" (POF)about 8 years ago. Couldn't have any children of my own unless we went through fertility procedures. Instead of spending a lot of money on trying to become pregnant, we chose to adopt. I wasn't willing to risk all that money and my emotions trying month after month and being, potentionally, disappointed. We decided to put our money towards a "sure thing"!

So, I am now a mom of two beautiful children, both adopted at birth 7 and 4.5 yrs ago.

I don't know what you are going through, but if you want to talk... I'm happy to! I still have ot flashes and sometimes night sweats (both of which suck!). Other than that, I don't really think it's affected me much.

Good luck and God Bless. Feel free to e-mail me anytime!
C.
____@____.com

Hi N.!

I had a full hysterectomy in 2007. I have three teenage daughters so my house is the "hormone wars". Here's what has worked for me:

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats: Buy a small fan for yourself at night. Also, there are special PJs for night sweats if you can afford them (they're pricey so I didn't). I know how bad they are, believe me, but after about 1 year to 18 months or so they will begin to diminish in frequency and severity. I have taken Effexor to help with the hot flashes. It works great for me. Just ask your doc -- it should be covered by your insurance.

Mood Swings ... mostly due to the lack of sleep, hot flashes, and night sweats ... Effexor also helps with that.

Dryness due to lack of estrogen. Take a fish oil supplement (I use Carlson's) and I use coconut oil as a moisturizer. I'ts very healthy for you and will be absorbed through your skin as well as give you soft skin. It's not expensive! You can get it at any natural food store.

My advice is to get your hair cut in a cute style as short as you can stand it.

You can email me if you'd like. This too shall pass!

L.
PS I'm not on any hormones.

Hi N. - I can imagine the feelings of loss you are going through as a result of the hysterectomy. That on top of your daughter's special needs can be overwhelming and I'll bet your not sleeping well. I encourage you to reach out to your support network for encouragement and for help - even if it's little things. It's so easy to think we have do it all on our own. If you're feeling depressed, which is so common after a major surgery not just with menopause, you might even consider talking to a professional - if money is an issue, you might consider talking to a pastor or women's counselor at your church.

Other than that, I would encourage you to get some exercise, eat healthfully and find lots of opportunities to laugh.

blessings to you and your daughter!

I am pre-menapuasal according to the blood tests my doctor ran. For the last 3 years I have had hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and down to about 3-4 perids a year. Since it is cold weather now the hot flashes aren't as bad. Both of my sisters had their female organs removed early in their life and are taking hormones. I have decided to hang on to my parts for now. I have had my children and am looking forward to grandchildren some day. My story is different in the physical aspect but the mental is probably close to yours. You have reached a cross road in your life and things may seem rough going. In order to handle things you may need a doctors intervention with some medication, diet, exercise and possibly counseling. I have had to find a happy medium in all of the above. It takes time and patience but life can still be good for you. Be kind to yourself and live one day at a time. I am a firm believer that nothing happens in our lives for no reason and that new doors can open up if we trust in the one that has all power. Good luck and prayers to you.