Men and Strip Clubs

It's a disgusting way to treat women in the first place. If you respect women, how can you go and sit and watch them take their clothes off for money. Men are supposed to protect and honor women, not make them so they have to stoop to such a thing to make a buck. If a man truly has respect for women, they wouldn't feel comfortable going to places like this. If he can't respect women, he can't respect you.
Yes, it's definitely cheating. A man that is drooling over another woman is cheating on you. I wouldn't want a man that would want to look at other women. If he doesn't like me, I would find someone that would.

NO WAY! First of all, my husband would not disrespect me by even attemptingor asking to go. But no, I would never ever let that happen.

I wouldnt consider it cheating unless he comes home with lipstick or smelling like them. He is coming home to you that is what matters most. I wouldnt worry about it, unless it were an every night thing.
Cathy

In my opinion I think it is wrong. Men should get this kind of thing out of their system when they are young and not married or committed to someone! I would never allow it and I would be incredibly mad if my husband went to strip clubs. I don't know if I would consider it cheating, but I would definitely consider it being disrespectful to your wife/girlfriend.
This is just my opinion :)!
-P.

I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in on this. I do think that a married/commited man going to a strip club is a form of cheating. Why would I want my man going out and getting all hot over some other woman. Also, why would I then want him crawling into bed next to me while he's got other women on his mind? I think that women who allow this to go on in their relationships are the ones with insecurities. These women are not confident enough to feel that they should be enough for the man that committed himself to her.

That said, I think that the variety of responses that you've receieved is evidence that everyone feels differently about this for different reasons. My thought is that you aren't comfortable with it, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered writing about it. So why put up with it? If you let it go now it will rear it's ugly head over and over again and will eventually ruin your relationship anyway. Someone else had mentioned that you can't change him. That's true, you can't. And he can't change the fact that you're just not feeling good about it. Seems to me like a good sign that this might not be the right guy for you.

All right now, get real. Cheating? Wrong? Disrespectful? They are a 3D figment, that’s it! What are they doing so wrong? So they go out, have a few drinks, ogle a few girls, then come back home to you. Now I would get mad if he dropped $100 on a strip club and not me ..lol
To tell you the truth, I don't see anything wrong. It was stated earlier that it should happen when they are young and not committed...ok, I can understand this, but you are forgetting one thing. THEY ARE COMMITTED TO YOU NOW!! Why hinder their natural male instincts just because you get a jealous streak that a girl MAY look better than you. Come on now. This is not about them going out, but more about women who want to fester their insecurities and blame it on guy’s actions. And how is anyone going to say they won't ALLOW their man to go do that. You should not have any control over them in order to ALLOW them to do anything.
Married women go out all the time to bars and clubs and ogle the guys around there. No, those guys are not stripping, but it's the exact concept. Those women are imagining another man, they same as a man would be doing at a strip club looking at a woman.
Point Blank, these guys are not doing anything wrong. They’re going out, having a good time, and living it up. As long as they allow you to go out and have the same good time, there’s not a darn thing wrong with it.

I don't consider it cheating, If my husband goes out to something like that I just tell him not to come home and want anything from me. But I do allow him to go it really does not bother me to much. Well I hope I helped.

I'd be pissed if my husband did that. I am not a fond believer in that kind of stuff..

You know what? There was a time when I would have made a big thing out of it, but not anymore. I now my husband loves me and I trust him. If he wants to look thats OK. He's coming home to me!! Beside we are not here to treat them like our kids they are adults. It is not up to us to teach them.
M.

that is tough, I dont consider it cheating, but sometimes wonder why a happily married man thinks they need to go to a club like that.. if it is seldom done and not of regular occurance, I dont think it is bad. Although the friends he is with are they married as well? sometimes single men can influence through pressure the wrong way not meaning to. but if it is just a once in a while occurance, it is probably just male bonding "fun" good luck

I would not want my husband going to the clubs. I cringe at the thought of my husband looking at another woman and feeling sexual urges or thinking sexual thoughts. Maybe I think that he will compare the two of us and find her sexier. I think it is unnecessary and if a man is happy in a relationship than there would be no need for him to see other naked women. I wouldn't say that it is cheating, but i do feel like it is some sort of betrayal.

I do not consider going to a strip club as cheating as long as he doesn't touch. That said my husband knows I don't approve of him going to a strip club. He doesn't go to them, but did once in the beginning of our marriage with a bunch of guys from work. My husband has no desire to go to strips clubs, but if he did he knows I feel it's not a place for married men and he respects that.

I wouldn't care so much if it were a boyfriend and the guys were just going out to have some fun, but I would if it were my husband. If that makes sense. When it comes down to marriage I don't feel there's any reason he should want or need to go out and pay money to see other women strip for him. I just feel it's a sign of disrespect. I definantly don't feel that way due to lack of confidence in myself, as someone stated earlier. But I guess it also depends on the marriage, religious beliefs, and what each couple is open to. Because I know my husband wouldn't want me wasting money to ogle at other men either. We have a strong respect for one another. And we definantly have more important things to waste our money on.

If he watches them and you reap the benefits enjoy it

Not cheating. Cheating would be if they started fooling around with one of the strippers and that never happens. My husband goes out with the guys occasionally and I know it is really just a social kind of thing. If he starts going out by himself or makes it a weekly thing, then you have reason to worry.

Ok, It is not cheating.
However, I hate it. My husband of almost ten years has only gone to strip clubs for bachelor parties, I think that has been twice in the last ten years. I don't like it and don't encourage it. If it is a regular thing he does, well then you have a problem.

My best friend is a male, he is single, no kids etc...LOVES THEM. His life, so I cannot say anything.

WOW I agree with MONICA T down there. She's right!!! Ya know if you have a great husband (as do I) and a wonderful relationship right down to the terrific sex what is the problem? We all have fanstasys and what not. If my husband wasn't looking I would consider it unhealthy. I look but I have no desire to stray. I don't find strip clubs any threat and don't consider it cheating. If they are in a somewhat respectable club NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN unless the men want it too and they have an awful lot of money to spend. Besides you may not like the way these women are earning a living but they are still earning a living. These women put their g string on just like you put your underwear on. A friend of mine just made a really good point. Your husband or boyfriend would most likely have a better chance of picking someone up at a sportsbar than at a strip joint. (this is from a mans point of view) Sooo sit back relax and enjoy life!!!! Unless he is really unhappy noone is going anywhere.

I have gone with my husband to a strip club-I would have no problem with him going without me.

I have been to a couple of private bachlorette parties and let me tell you girls are not angels here either. I would not care if my husband went with a bunch of buddies as long as he has not had a lot to drink. I would even go with him. I know he looks at other women but he makes me feel special enough that I don't really care. I am not really a jealous person unless he gives me a reason to be. I guess that's because we have both been previously married to other people who were jealous and cheated on both of us so we know what that is like and we no longer want that in our life.

So no it's not cheating but also don't be nieve to say that the person in your relationship would never cheat because you never know what that person will do under different circumstances. All I can say is you have to just try and trust that person you are with and hope they would never do anything to hurt you. Just remember do you want someone telling you what to do as an adult? I know I don't.

Hello.I think it is ok for guys to go to a strip club its a guy thing.As long as they dont touch them or tip them to much.They always come home.But if theres more than just watching them then theres a problem.As long as he dont talk about the girls all the time with his buddies or brag about them around u then ur fine dont worry about it.

M.,

I have thought about this very question many times, as my husband in the past has visited these types of clubs. I once met a woman who told me she was a stripper and she told me that usually the married men were the worse as far as trying to touch her or spending hours upon hours in the club. It sickened me to think about. I finally told my husband that I felt that if he needed to go in to these clubs so badly that there had to be a problem in our relationship. My husband did not agree and said it was simply a place to go to relax. I do not believe it. However, since I brought it up my husband does not seem to go any more.

I do not consider it as cheating and I would be upset if I was not invited to go to the tittie bars with my man! But to eaches own...some women are not secure enough with themselves to "allow" their man to go check out some naked ladies, as long as he goes home and "takes care" of you when he gets home who cares?

actually... it's not cheating persay, but it is definately something women don't want their husbands/bf's doing. They all come back saying, "Oh, I just had a couple drinks, or I didn't get a lap dance" If it is true or not you never know. It's not the end of the world, if it is a bachelor party thing, you can't very well tell him that he can't go, since there is going to be strippers involved. I wouldn't want to let my man go, but then again you can't tell him what to do. It's just too bad that he wants to do that, since it causes hurt feelings. Also, whatever he does now, he will most likely do throughout your relationship.

Doesn't bother me in the least. I trust him.

Besides.. he's more interested in any food they might serve... honestly he a faithful guy.. way faithful and I dont' ever worry about him. Nor he about me.

Without that level of trust... I'd not be with him.

Well,
For me...in the beginning of our relationship going to the STUPID strip club was OK with me. I mean I knew he was with me, and going to come home to me, he'd been going since before he knew me anyhow. (I was also about 60lbs lighter!!) But then he went out to one in Massachusetts one night (where they allow FULL NUDITY instead of just the breasts like in CT). He came home (I don't know how he made it!) as drunk as can be and all he kept talking about was the Brazilian strippers naked A$$ and how perfectly round it was etc etc. Well that made me VERY MAD! So now I don't want him going AT ALL! He ruined it for himself. Of course he doesn't remember the Brazilian comments he made to me, but I do! So whenever he goes out I always tell him to PLEASE NOT GO TO THE STRIP CLUB!!!!! I tell him that I think it is a waste of money and we could use that money for other things (bills, clothes for the kids, etc.)

take it for what it'sworth but i have been happily married now for four years this august.... All that said... i much prefer him going there than to a normal bar.... girls in these clubs are after his money... he goes to a normal bar and they are meat markets and looking for more than that. When hubby goes out it is normally to strip clubs. Although i can say it is not often, and i don't believe it should be often for a married man! hope this helps at least a little

time to get rid of this pig

I don't think it's cheating, but I think when you have a good relationship, your husband or boyfriend should have enough respect for you that they just wouldn't even want to go! If it were me I wouldn't put up with it, but that's my opinion!