Meeting the Kids...

My kids are much younger, and I haven't been in this predicament yet, but I wouldn't suggest bringing presents. You might be setting the bar too high, you know? they might start expecting presents every time you show up!

My favorite quote is "TIME is the best thing to SPEND on a child"

I would suggest taking them out to DO something fun!

My parents are divorced, and when they dated, my sister and I never got gifts of any sort. But my stepmom always did the coolest stuff with us, so we thought she was the best! :-)

when my dad got remarried she didn't try to "buy" us but she did spend time with us. we made christmas ornaments and decorations and cookies etc. we read books and she taught me how to crochet. she taught us how to play cards. now she is almost 70 and we play every day. my dad died 15 years ago. but i love her as much as i did then. she is still a huge part of my life.

I agree with meeting at a park. When my current husband met my daughter (age 7) the first time we went to a park. She asked us to play tag. Being a great sport, he jumped right up and started chasing her. He slipped on some sand and fell right on his bum! My daughter laughed so hard, and so did he, that after we went our separate ways she asked if we could see him again "tomorrow". He didn't just go to meet her, he played with her, on her level and scored some major points.

I ditto Anna Lee...Don't be lovey dovey with her around the kids the first time you meet them.

Good luck!!!

Hi R., I agree with Jen. No presents. It's best to plan a day out even if it's to the park. This way the kids can "check you out" and then go off to play a game or something and they'll let things sink in. I would also not be too lovey dovey with mom that first time either. You didn't say if they were kids from a divorce, if so tread lightly. I would also think that your GF would have a good idea on what to do as she would know her kids best. Good luck to you, I'm sure any awkwardness felt will be short term.

NO PRESENTS.... Money can't buy affection, acceptance, or true appreciation. Take it slow. Don't expect to much and LISTEN. Be yourself, DON'T BE FAKE, their mother likes you for a reason! Ask about their likes and dislikes, truly "get to know them". Just take the time to care :)

Hi R. - as a child of divorce and dating, don't meet the kids until you have been dating for at least 6 months-1 year. No matter how much you both think that this is "the one", in the early stages of a relationship, you just can't guarantee it.

I don't know what kind of person your girlfriend is, but the fact that you're asking about this shows that you're a caring person. You may need to take the lead here and slow things down where the kids are concerned. My mom was more concerned about finding someone to take care of her (and supposedly us) that she went through a bunch of boyfriends during my growing up years. Some were nice, some acted like they couldn't be bothered. Some had kids, some didn't. Imagine what it would be like if people kept cycling into your life, you let down your guard for them because of the type of relationship it was "supposed to be" for your parent, then it didn't work out. It sucks.

So, go on dates with her - get past the glowy new relationship phase; but you need to think LONG AND HARD about this. You are not dating a single woman and having fun - there's nothing wrong with that in a no-kids situation. BUT - you are dating a woman with children (there are 4 people involved in this relationship) with the goal of getting married. If you're not interested in potentially being a parent to a 6 & 9 year old, then get out now. Otherwise, it's not fair.

Sorry to be blunt, but if more people who dated where kids were involved thought this way BEFORE the relationship got serious, a lot of pain could be avoided for everyone.

No presents!!!!

Go somewhere... the beach, out for ice cream, the zoo, the playground. The kids will probably be uncomfortable if you hang out around their house. Take the time to get to know them. Ask them some general questions and listen to their responses, if they seem interested keep going. If they're not interested don't push. Just remember it's a lot harder for the kids to meet you, than for you to meet the kids.

Forgot to ask, how new is this girlfriend. If you've been dating less than 3 months, you should not be meeting the kids.

You have a lot of good advice here already.
Meet in a neutral place...If there is a park they usually go to, then that isn't neutral ;) Kids take ownership of things and can feel easily invaded. So some place neutral.

Include an activity that everyone can be a part of. Let them enter it at their own pace. Do not be pushy as they may want to stay back at first and size you up. As someone said, get to know them.

Do not include a gift. Kids are people too and they know when their favor is being bought or bribed for.

Be yourself. Be genuine. Breathe.

Best of luck to you.

First I would like to say that you shouldn't meet the kids til the both of you have been dating for minimum of 6 months & perhaps longer if she is newly divorced or separated. Meet somewhere fun like a park, or swimming pool. Somewhere where you can interact with them like playing soccer or tag or swimming in a pool & tossing them around. Also make the date for 2-3 hours, not an all day affair. No gifts otherwise you will be labeled, kids are smart. Oh & show little affection to your new girlfriend, no holding hands or pecks, they will be watching you! Relax & have fun