I live in Portland, Or. All my friends have either moved away or aren't ever available when I am, etc.
I guess my question is. Where do you go to meet new people?
I work as a nanny, so I don't work with other adults. I'm not religious, so I don't go to church.I miss having friends to grab coffee or dinner with, or just do the girly stuff my DH isn't in to.
Thanks! :-)
Thanks! I didn't know about meetup.com. I will definitely check it out!:-D
Rachel D, I do that all the time. We go tons of places whers other kids/parents are. The problem I run into is that once they find out I'm just the nanny, they don't seem to want to keep talking to me. I really don't understand that.
Krista P, That's the other problem. DH works with his dad. They talk to clients. So, no coworkers wives to invite over. Unless you count his mom, lol. We have lost touch will our few couple friends & don't know where to meet new ones. We go out by ourselves or we stay home. I'm finding it rather boring.
Riley J, I do understand parents not always having free time . My DD is 16. I have tons of free time. I am more than willing to work with other people's schedules. I just need to find people first.
Thanks, ladies for all your help. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. I've just been frustrated with things.
Social media networking. Seriously. I find out about stuff going on that other people are participating in, and I just show up. They're not private parties, so I'm not crashing. It's a good way to exercise my social muscle.
I know how you feel, I was at SAHM to 3 kids when we moved out of state 3 years ago so I had no way of meeting people. I would try a website like meetup.com. You can enter your zip code and hobbies/interests and it will match you with a group you can join. This is how I found a Mom's group which has been a lifesaver, I've met some wonderful friends! Good luck :)
Look for a book club in your area (this will be sans kids)
Go to the mall's indoor play area (you may find other nannies and/or
moms that won't write you off because you are a nanny)
Do you go to a gym? This "can be" a place to meet friendly gals.
Go to any party you are invited to.....you may make friends of friends!
Any chance you can work day a weekend somewhere?
Hang in there. You will meet other friends.
I don't usually have time to make new friends. New friends require having time available to actually get together on a regular basis to form that friendship and I'm REALLY short on time!. So most of my friends I'm "meeting" with are friends who live elsewhere and we're getting together over the phone.
I meet many people all the time that I'd LIKE to pursue a friendship with, through things I do. (Which ties into your last Q about hobbies). I just don't have the time for it. I USED to... I had 1 free day per week when my husband had our son... so I could plan things with people... but that ended 6 years ago.
In my own life I have to be
a) Doing things where I'm meeting with people (my son's sports, my own classes, etc.)
AND
b) have dedicated time so I can just say "Hey! Do you want to get together for ______ on Sunday?"
I've found most parents would like more friends, but the trifecta of 'kids like each other, we like each other, and we both have available time at the same time" is both rare AND short lived (either the kids start not liking each other, we start not liking each other, or our schedules in us+kids start clashing). But that if I have free time I KNOW about ahead of time, most others are more than happy to juggle their schedules a bit to go have grownup time to make an arranged meet. Many parents, myself included, just don't have free time they can consistantly count on. So it becomes a lot of people WANTING to get together, but they have reeeeally short notice on when they'll be free.
You're a nanny, grab the kids and hit the playground! Having kiddos in common to talk about, it doesn't get much easier than that ;) I've made good girl friends this way, and more often than not, my husband gets along with the other dad's too! And they're already kid friendly! Doesn't get much better than that ;)
Good luck and have fun with it!
ETA: That's so weird, I'd be exchanging numbers for babysitting AND friend purposes!! The preK my son's going to, I yap with one of 'the nannys' the whole time!
Have you tried socially with your husband's friends' wives? That may be a place to start. Invite a group of couples over one night for dinner and see how it goes. If you don't like them, you really haven't lost much. If you do, then you have met some new ladies to spend time with.
Places that I have met people (that I actually see outside of those places) aside from work:
- Toddler Story Hour at the local library
- Mommy & Me yoga
- Library book club
A few years ago I remember telling my husband that I was lonely because I felt like I didn't have friends anymore. I know that sounds strange, but between work, graduate school I just didn't have time to maintain my friendships. His response was basically that we could go out more if I wanted. Not really helpful, but appreciated.
A couple of months later one of his friends from work invited us to come over for a dinner party with three other couples from work. The guys had all been friends for years, but this was the first time that we got together as couples. I have to tell you that it was a blast! We now get together as couples/families 3 or 4 times a year and as a group of ladies every-other-month. Nothing fancy, just dinner at eachother's homes.
I have come to really enjoy them and they are my closest friends now. Apparently the "original host" wife was feeling the same way I was and her husband's suggestion was to invite some people over and just see what happened.... so I am suggesting the same to you!
Take a class or get into a hobby you enjoy. This way you will meet like minded people.
Added;
Check out meetup.com
Book club?
Check out your local library--ours has lots of clubs/crafts/discussions for free or almost free.
Take a class (sewing, knitting, kung fu) through community ed. Go back to school and get a degree. Join a health club. Get a part-time volunteer gig with a local church (and start going too) or social charity (Junior League, Red Cross, Local Orchestra or Museum, local public tv station) or get a job at a place where you have to interact with people on a regular basis such as at a bar/restaurant, library, teaching a class through community ed, as a barista at a coffee shop.
