Medication for Activity

I'm so glad your grandson has found someplace safe to be. I have 6 kids adopted out of foster care, three of which were abused so I understand where you are coming from. All of my kids are on some kind of medication for one thing or another. After having a huge problem with psycotropics (my son being in a coma for three days and never completely recovering) because my child was misdiagnoes, I'm very much against them unless there is nothing else that can be done.

Have you been in touch with your local Family Resource Center? You can go to http://www.frcnca.org/directory.html and click on your county where you can find your local one. Does your grandson have an IEP or 504 plan? Have you requested 26.5 services so that the school will have to help cover the expense of counseling? If your grandson is placed with you through CPS, then they are responsible for paying for it. Has he been evaluated for sensory issues? The school can do this and sensory integration disorder can cause a lot of what you described. You may want to have the school do an assessment for an executive functioning problem. Executive functioning problems can cause a lot of problems with organization.

That being said, I don't know your son's history completely but everything you are describing also sounds like one of two things - Asperger's Syndrome and/or prenatal exposures to drugs or alcohol. Please understand I know that's hard to hear but after being a foster parent for 10 years, I've seen it all. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if I can help you in any way.

After 10 years and four step fathers, why does "dad" care now? Thank Heaven for you grandma. :)

Part of his behavior is just a boy being a boy, part is not. The answer is probably going to be a combination of therapy and some sense of normalcy in his life, with medication as a last resort. Do you have guardianship or custody? This wouldbe something to consider so he stays in one place for a while.

Your grandson has the similar situation as my niece did, instability in their lives. You are a wise Grandmama indeed, to recognize the underlying problem. You are persuing the more correct path to help him.

I just sent the following message to another M. requesting input regarding ADD/ADHD:

Tell your friend to get a doctor's opinion. While schools think they know how to recognize an ADD child, they don't. It seems that most any child, (mostly boys, who have a difficult time sitting still for long periods anyway) that does not sit quietly, display interest in a subject, or needs extra attention, is labeled ADD or ADHD. This is SO WRONG!

Example: My sister and her 8 year old daughter moved into my home. My sister has spent my niece's entire life moving from place to place. My sister did not work (or didn't keep a job for very long), and was the sort of person who woke up in the morning mad at the world. My niece grew up with no stability in her life. There were no incentives or rewards for doing well at anything.

While living with us, her teacher sent home a four page questionaire to be completed and requested a meeting. I made it a point to leave work early and be at that meeting. The questionaire, no matter how questions were answered, inferred the child asked about had ADHD (although it did not use the call letters anywhere in it).

At the meeting the teacher gave examples of my niece's "in-ability" to concentrate, which ticked me off no end. This teacher said my niece MUST be medicated or it would not be possible to teacher her and have her remain in class. After explaining to the teacher how incorrect she was, and reminding her she was not a doctor and, therefore, not qualified to make such a diagnosis, we left the meeting.

The following day I took my niece to my Chiropractor (now my employer)for an evalution. He recommended a vitimim supplement and some diet changes. He urged the continuation of a steady, routine lifestyle, including the one-on-one attention for homework at night.

Two weeks after our visit, my niece's teacher called me, on my cell phone while I was working, to tell my how much better my niece was doing "since she has been receiving medication". When I told the teacher we were NOT medicating my niece she was floored. She asked me why the big change. I told her it was two things; a supplement and diet change, and stability in the homelife situation. At this point I reminded the teacher she was not qualified to diagnois ADD or ADHD.

The point of my story is; your friend should seek the opinion of those qualified to diagnose medical conditions, be it a MD, DC, or PHD. Look for lifestyle experiences that may be contributing to unacceptable behavior.

Praying for all the best,
L. B

A little about me: I am a married, working, 53 year old mother, of two children adopted as teenagers from non-English countries. After two-and-a-half years in this country my daughter (17) carries the second highest GPA in her school. My son (15) has only been in this country for 3 weeks now. While he hasn't demonstrated his new sister's "gift" to accomplish, I know he has the abilty for more success than he has shown up to this point in his life.

I'll come at this from a different view- I myself had issues as a child. Couldn't sit still- bad grades. Home wasn't perfect but my single M. did her best. When the school told her to put me on drugs she refused ( she had been on them as a child)All sugar was cut from my meals every morning I had a cup of black coffee ( maybe some milk in it) and it worked! Wasn't nothing magical. It wouldn't hurt to try what ever will help- home remedies or drugs.

I think medication is the answer if there is a medical diagnosis such as ADD or ADHD. I think kids are often overdiagnosed and medicine isn't really necessary. I am a teacher and a lot of kids would not be able to concentrate enough to be successful in school without the necessary medications.

I know lots of people feel strongly about not medicating, but this child needs some peace and stability. If medication helps him get there, it is not a life sentence. For what he's been through, how could he not be suffering from anxiety and depression? Therapy is great, but takes time. He has suffered long enough. I support a combination of medication (when appropriate) and therapy. No amount of therapy was going to help my daughter, until she was properly medicated (and she's only had two parents).

It is inexcusable for anyone to treat your son the way they did, but picture a man (or four) with no coping skills trying to parent a hyperactive child, who isn't even his. Everyone has a story. I imagine this poor sweet kid was a bit hyperactive, and was parented by dysfunctional people who didn't understand him, nor have any patience for him. To further stick my nose where it doesn't belong, picture a mother marrying four times? What's happening for her? Self esteem issues, depression, anxiety? 80% of the time when you have AD/HD in a child, you can find it in one of the parents. Untreated AD/HD kids are the ones who grow up with secondary depression, anger, anxiety, and go on to make poor choices. Sound like her?

Keep plugging along! That boy needs you! Good luck...you are in my prayers.