Maturity or Defiance Issue?

When he does this just pick him up and put him in the car. No doubt he is going to scream, but when he calms down explain that this is how it is going to be. Then the next time you are on your way to the playground give him a reminder of what happened last time and that if he does not listen when you tell him to stop then it will happen again. This is pretty age-appropriate stuff, but if you can take care of it before the baby comes, then it will be SOOO much easier to take the two of them out when the time comes. Good luck!

Sounds like he is testing you, and smart little him realizes that you are not able to follow him around as much anymore.

Try only to use "stop" when you really want him to stop. The more you use it, the less he'll hear it.

Go to fenced-in playgrounds, so you won't have to worry about cars.

Have real consequences when he doesn't listen in a "safety situation" - take him home, and tell him you'll have to leave because he doesn't listen. Remember that these consequences should be tied in with the offense (so don't take the dessert away - he won't make a connection!).

Good luck!

My kids did not have the terrible twos but boy were they defiant at 3! Indeed be very firm - I once lost my 3 year old at a play ground and found she had followed a dog about 500 yards away. The worst panic of my life! After that I was very firm with her and because I was in such a panic I was probably harsher that I should have been, but in no uncertain terms told her she HAD to stay near me or else we would not come to the play ground any more. They now make devices a child can wear and it beep after the child gets a certain distance away from the source the mom wears. Here is one that is simple (about $20) - http://www.bestsecurityproducts.net/servlet/the-30/Child-... and here is one that is for more than once child and is about $100
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Good luck.

Hi,

I am not always the best at knowing where to draw the line, and what is age appropriate behavior vs. not listening on purpose.

However, in the situation you are in, I would suggest talking about it beforehand each time you go anywhere, and leaving either the first time or after one warning. Once you have two kids, it will be much harder to keep the older one near you if you don't get him to do it now, and it will be much harder to be able to take him places with a baby in tow if he does not come when you need him to (picture the baby needing a diaper change and you can't get your 3 year old to come with you!).

Also, if you are seeing other kids staying with their parents, some of that could be upbringing, but some of it could be the children. My older one always stayed within a few feet of me, while my younger one was like your son around the same age (and I could not bring him home without having to bring my older son home, so a few times I left him with his Dad instead of bringing him places, and he stopped escaping very quickly!).

Good luck!

I am in the exact same boat, but with a daughter. She's very bright, so I get even more frustrated that she can't understand basic safety issues. She's thinks it funny or a game whenever you tell her to stop. I also have a son that is 1 1/2 years, so both of them are non-stop. I can only tell you this....I never go places with them where I can't have one of them on "lock-down"...either in a stroller or carriage. That way, I have the ability to leave one and chase the other if the situation presents itself. I also just avoid places that I feel would be too difficult to handle with both of them by myself. I, too, feel a bit overprotective....rather people say I am; I argue that I just know my children's behavior well and am trying to keep them safe. So, whenever someone takes one (or both) of them, I am forever giving advice on how to handle them both. My family has learned to listen to my little directions, as they have learned the hard way when they haven't. So, in time, my family has just learned to listen to what I have to say.....just had to deal with them making fun of me for a while. Good-luck...it's not easy having two so close together, but everyone I talk to says it's worth it in the long run.

Hi L.,

I think he is old enough to grasp stop. I know how you feel!! when mine were small I decided that if my daughter did not stop when I told her, I would leave where ever I was. I would give him one warning...If you do not stop when mommy tells you to stop we will leave the park. Make sure you do what you say and say what you mean. This worked for me because my daughter loved the park, she knew if she did not stop we would leave. Good luck!

D.

Hi,
At just about 3 years old your child should be well aware of his surroundings and understand what is dangerous. Usually children like to test their limits. See what they can and can't get away with or even how much. Your child needs to recognize that going to the playground is a priveledge, and also needs to obey you as the Mother. My advice is... next time you're at the playground and your child decides to not obey you, I would give the child the chance to listen to you one more time or say that "if they aren't going to listen to Mom that you're going to have to leave." Make sure you actually follow through if the child does not listen. They need to take you seriously and know who is boss and have respect. Afterall, you are just looking out for their best interest. Perhaps you could also try a more restricted, fenced in playground so they can have the freedom to run around without you worrying about their safety.

Best!