I am still undecided which way to go. several of you have asked the same questions. How close to his family do we live 9 hrs and fixing to get farther. several asked how he feels about it he is refusing to ever talk to his oldest sister ever again. the rest he is short rude and ditches off the phone asap. Did I know his family was this way before the baby which is his by the way no not till about 8 months ago. He is close but keeps his distance and has gotten more distant with all of them we agreed to let our son be around all but his oldest sister which is his idea not mine and I didn't suggest it. the agreeing sister who agrees with whoever is winning he still wants contact with The little sister he has cut contact with cause she is strongly influenced by the oldest sister she is real weak willed and plays helpless to make other people decide for her. The oldest sister puts everyone up to manipulation etc. He has decided he doesnt want any of his family at the wedding so we had agreed to elope so we dont have to invite them. it was asked if i love him yes he is the best thing that has happened to me he treats women with more respect than 98% of other men.his dad taught him right. and their dad was a preacher.
right or wrong i have decided to marry since we are in agreement that it was wrong and there is so much distance between them. you all have had a lot of great arguments both ways. I appreciate all input pro and con also.
if you and he are in agreement about his family i would not let them get in the way of your happiness. if you're already 9 hours away from them don't sweat it! you won't even have to worry about them 99% of the time. i wouldn't give them a thought. do your thing girl.
If my hubby would have looked at me for my family - we wouldn't have married over 15 yrs ago & have our 5th kid on it's way. My family will do whatever it takes to get ahead... they never did like my choose to marry him. Although I did finaly talk my mom into signing the papers (I was 17 when I married)... she only did it to dodge the bill of the delivery of my oldest. She called a lawyer & found out that as long as I was under 18 and still unmarried - by law she was 100% responsible for all my medical bills and any medical bills that were "created" by me (meaning the baby). The day she found that out (only 8 mo after I started begging her to sign the papers) we went to the county & got the papers... then everyday till the 7 day waiting period was over she reminded me I couldn't have my baby. I was due on Oct 30, got married on Oct 25 & had my daughter at 2:44 am on Oct 27. She was trilled to dodge the medical bills and then did everything she could to try to split us up.
On my wedding day - I was told by almost everyone "this marrage will only last.... 3 mo, 6 mo. a year max" and my sister told me "I'll come to the next one". The only people that didn't say anything were my in-laws... well that is till out 10 yr anniversery - then my mother-in-law told me "You know you lasted twice as long as we though... We're suprised you put up with our son this long, but I'm glad that you have & I hope you guys do get your till death."
You see - even at 17 I knew he was the man I wanted to be with the rest of my life & at 20 he knew I was the woman he wanted to share the rest of his life with... if my family would have gotten what they wanted we wouldn't be still married & getting what we want out of life. We are a happy couple (most of the time - we do bicker just like everyone does), we have beautiful kids (for the most part) and we are reaching for our dreams together. We haven't let my family "ruin" what we have and they are only about 15 min away. If you love this man - then why let his family ruin you future and family? Yes, family matters to a point... but all in all - the family that matters most is the ones under the roof you live under. The chooses I make effect my hubby, kids & I - not my mom, sisters, brothers, dads, grandparents or in-laws... since they don't live under my roof. They don't pay my bills, they don't feed my family & they don't make my chooses... my hubby & I pay the bills, we feedo our kids & we make the chooses for our family - don't let extended family change your heart... it will only ruin your happiness.
It sounds like your husband is a great guy (despite his family) and it also sounds like you love him very much. Those are the two most important things in making a marriage work. If you guys are in agreement about his family situation (which it kind of sounds like you are), you should go ahead and marry! If my husband had looked at my family before deciding to marry me, we wouldn't be married today. Luckily he looked beyond them and into me and I'm so thankful for that. I make sure to limit my baby's exposure to my family as well as guard my husband from too much of the drama and so far, it's worked out okay. Best of luck,
The fact that they live 9 hours away makes all the difference. It sounds like he is a great guy. Marriage is also a compromise and since they live so far away, it just makes it that much easier on the both of you. What is also important is that both of you share the same thoughts on how to handle your situation.
I didn't have any of my family at my wedding, I don't regret it. I just hired a professial video that I sent to my family instead.
Itwas the best day of my life.
