D.,
I was divorced from my husband only a short time when I met a great man, we had so much in common. Maybe a re-bound looking back on it, I am not the type of person that likes to be alone. And lets face it, life is easier when there are two parents, and two incomes. After three years living together, my boyfriend decided to leave, and move back home with his parents in Mo. No real explanation, he just quit his job and started packing his things. I was devastated, and while a proud woman, I too tried to talk him out of it, beg him, offered to change ect. He didn't want to hear it, and I was a wreck. When I realized it was inevitable that I would be on my own with the two kids, I had one last good cry and then tried to summon up anger at him, telling myself I was better than this and that I could move on. Lots of women do it, and make it, and I could too with determination. I switched jobs so I would be around more people(I worked in a tiny office with two women). I got a hair cut, it made me feel better. I am still learning how to maintain my car, I ask my kids boyfriends, fathers of their friends, whatever it takes. In the Newton area you can call Project Self Sufficiency, it is for single moms, and they offer support, classes of all kinds to help with jobs and free legal advice. Even your local hospital offers counseling in mental health, and its all sliding scale depending on insurance and income. The resources are out there when you dont have family, which is what has happened in my case. I have a friend in Calif., and one in Fla. but thats it, no family to fall back on. I did meet a great guy out of my new job and we have been going out a few months. I dont know what the future will hold, and we have trouble seeing each other because of our schedules, but I have moved on now and it feels great. As for the boyfriend that left, when I stopped calling and contacting him he started calling me. He has now said several times he isnt sure he made the right decision, that it might have been the biggest mistake of his life leaving me. He has asked if I would consider moving out there. My answer is NO, I have a life I have started over and while keeping him as a friend would be nice, he won't be a major part of my life again and I won't be hurt twice by the same person. There was a reason he came into my life when he did, and there was a reason he left. I really believe now that when he left, it was meant to be because something better was going to come into my life. I hope you find the strength that I found, and even if just through this site, know you have support you need to face the next week, month, and year.