Hi,
I'm wondering from other people out there how to handle this.
My hubby an i have been married for a few years now, and we have had some probs, we just got back together. after being split for a little over a month. we got into a fight i got thrown accross a room, so i packed up and left. well were both go to church and are trying to be good christians neither one of us believe in divorce. Well while we was apart i went out with another guy, hes a friend has been for a year now, and it was just a bunch of us friends hanging out.
Well i did tell him that i was going out with some friends, and this guy he has accused me of cheating on him with in the past.
I never have. But now that we are back together, i told him i would give up this friend, bc i know hes uncomfy with him.
So i have stop all communication with him, however i still get told daily.
You wish i was him instead, or hows he doing talked to him today, or How are you still talking to him bc i know you are.
Im at my end, im trying and i have given up this friend,
will this pass, is there anything i can do, or is it just a lost cause. Thank you
Thrown accross a room? Whether or not I believed in Divorce or not, this coupled with his badgering you daily would be a deal breaker for me. Clear signs in my mind you are not safe. If you stay, have an exit plan (place to go, money set aside, all that)
Your husband is WAY too controlling!! No one would ever hit me because I won't stay if they do. This is not a healthy environment. Remember: going to church makes you a christian about as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!! LOL If you are both interested in saving this marriage get counseling. You can get counseling from clergy or from an outside source but I do think this would be an important step. Remember now he finds fault with your friends and wants to get rid of them and next it will be your family! Been there, done that and never going back!!
Get out of this now. God will forgive you.
Christian or not , you should not have to put up with being thrown across a room or have to give up friends just because they are male!
I say get rid of him
I know you are trying to be a good Christian, but I don't think God would want you to stay with an abusive husband! From what I can tell of your hubby things will only escalate! He will become more jealous and posessive and I can only see things getting worse! In some cases divorce is a very acceptable option!
My first reaction is that, "believe" in divorce or not, I am sure God would not want you staying in a relationship that you get "thrown" across the room. However, that was not your question, just my opinion.
If you are interested in having this work, you both need to go to counseling. And, really I think a licensed therapist is what you need, over a pastor or other church employee. That way you can both get out how you feel in a safe environment and he can really hear how you feel about his constant allegations. Therapist's have an amazing way of making couples hear each other when you cannot do it on your own.
Regardless of what you decide, please don't allow yourself to be treated that way again.
nothing matters except he is verbally/emotionally abusive, and has been physically abusive. the answer is, this is how he is. accept a LIFETIME of this treatment - or get something better for yourself. that's it.
Either he's trying to start a fight cuz he likes the drama, OR he's cheating which makes him think Everybody's cheating, OR he's drinking which makes him have really bad judgement and fly off the handle over nothing OR a combination of the above.
No children? Get out and move on. I suspect your husband has some outside activities and he's trying to turn the tables.
Keep on going to church and I hope you will meet a true Christian and have a good life.
Blessings.....
Now my marriage isn't perfect, but he never put his hands on me. You don't have any obligations to him, and from my experience, when they accuse you, he could be projecting anger for himself on you. That's just in my experience. You are strong, if you're really tired and WHEN you're really tired, you truly will be just that...TIRED. If so, leave and live your life. But only you can decide that. Good luck and stay in the Word.
If you don't have kids together, break up with him now.
If you do, I don't know what to suggest. Counseling?
I honestly feel it's one of two things... he's either cheating on you and projecting his guilt onto you to make YOU seem like the cheater or two - he's an emotional abuser with physical abuser tendencies.
As others have said - get out while you can. Divorce is always a feasible option for certain situations and seems like you have a very big situation.
Do you really think God would want you to stay bound to a man who disrespects you, mistreats you and possibly cheats on you I highly doubt it.
It just doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Not only because of the reason you seperated but because he is looking for a reason to fight w/ you or be unhappy. I don't think it will pass. My only other suggestions is for him to get some counselling... maybe go together! Good luck! Be safe!
That's just not fair. Try marriage counseling or mentoring through your church.
He is abusive to you & you cheated on him, you both need counseling with a licensed counselor & a pastor, once a week
