Marriage and Toddlers

If you are both home in the evening, keeping a consistent bedtime routine for the little ones gives you and hubby ALMOST the whole evening. I would think the kiddos, beig toddlers, would be in bed BY 7:30 or 8:00 pm? Meaning starting with bath, books and jammies earlier so they have a routine and are in bed by 7:30 or 8:00.

Every night after the kids go to bed, we make time for ourselves. Well I say every night, but I am married to a soldier who deploys oftern ;)

Anyway.... we sit out on the patio, have coffee, something sweet, or nothing at all. We may fire up the firepit or just sit under the stars. A lot of times, I will rent a movie and after the kids go to bed we will watch it. We usually consider these times our date nights.

making sure we had dinner together as a family every night.
making sure we watched a tv show or SOMETHING at least once a week on the couch so we could be close and touch....

we had date nights...we still do - but we had them every week as at one point in our marriage i was working and our day care had pizza night every Wednesday night...it was GREAT!!!

We also make sure that we take time for each other after the kids go to bed!

Put them to bed between 8 and 9 pm. Then you have time for a visit before bed yourself. If they go to bed too early then they get up way too early. They also will get older and the later bedtime is more appropriate for them and they are used to it. It's still daylight before 9pm. That just makes it harder to get them down.

Plus, it's okay to hire a babysitter so you can go out and enjoy your husband.

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, so I feel your pain! We try to ask each other about how our days went over dinner. We try to go on walks at night with the kids in the stroller to wind them down a little so we can talk then too. I work at an ungodly hour in the AM, so needless to say I dont last too long at night. We have our "personal" time immediately after we are sure both kids are asleep, then its bedtime- so we are looking at around 9 pm :)

We talk.contstantly. :) Our babies are 14 months and almost 2 and a half, so I feel your pain. It can be very difficult! I'm not a huge fan of putting the babies in front of the tv, but every once in awhile we put on Veggie Tales so we can have some time to talk or cuddle or whatever while they're awake. We do not have anyone who can babysit for us, so we usually stay up later than we should so that we can spend some time alone together. Sometimes we watch something on Netflix. Sometimes we just talk. Whatever. :)

You put them to bed around 7:30 ( begin to prepare them 45 minutes before with the routines). Then if nothing else you and your husband if you both are exhausted can communicate wordlessly by cuddling.
If you have the strength to stay up and talk do so.

We have never found a way to get both of our kids to bed at an early enough hour to just enjoy some time together without losing sleep :-)

We usually stay up late one night and then give each other some extra sleep on the weekends.

Our older son does not nap and goes to bed around 8:00 pm. Our younger son takes a long nap (and is a complete crab if we wake him early), and does not go to bed as early. Once we get him to bed, we have some time together. Sometimes we go straight to bed because, let's be honest, sometimes we're exhausted. Sometimes we stay up and spend time together. We're tired the next day, but it sure does make us feel closer.

It's tough! I know many moms who have all school age kids, and they are always telling me that it does, in fact, get easier!

Hang in there! That's what I'm doing :-)

After we put our daughter to bed that is our time. Even if it only last a couple hours before I doze off, it's still our time. A couple nights a week we give her dinner and just have small salads. Then after she goes to bed we cook together and have a romantic dinner just the two of us.

Honestly, this has always been our routine since she was born. Even 2 hours a night is enough time to talk, reconnect at the end of the day, cuddle, etc. We try not to do electronics besides tv either. I don't get on here and he doesn't play video games. That way we are paying attention to each other and not just in the same physical space.

I agree with previously stated... Get the bedtime routine down and make it as early as 7:30-8p. My daughter is 8, so she doesn't go to bed that early anymore, but my 3yr old son doesn't go to bed later than 8:30p and that's only IF he had at least a 2hr nap.

My husband and I are always open with each other... We don't have to be alone to talk to one another. We're just cautious with words. We've never yelled at each other I don't think.

To have some alone time it's usually after the kids are in bed or set up a weekend.

Keep your kids on a schedule. That helps them know what to expect for each part of the day and that makes them less whiny and needy. Put them to bed by 7pm. That will give you and hubby several hours to yourself in the evening to unwind and enjoy each other. Be sure your kids room has dark curtains and shades, and run a fan or other white noise so they can fall asleep easier now that the sun goes down SO LATE! :)

If they are escape artists practice the Super Nanny techniques (her show is on HULU, so you can watch whenever) for getting them to stay in bed.

Best wishes!

Well I have been pondering this myself lately how raising young children is just a consuming job! My current theory is it is like two people in a fox hole together back to back fighting off incoming missiles, fire,etc. People who survive this experience are bonded for life!!haha;) I did learn in this human behavior class in college that people who undergo stress together do have a strong bond, heck think of how stressful birth is for mother and child, what stronger bond is there!! So while I am like you wondering how the heck to make time for my marriage sometimes, I have to believe that through it all as we have eachother's backs in this crucible of marriage and child rearing deep bonds or respect and love are being forged. But I am really excited to see all your responses bc it is always good to get fresh ideas. Good luck!!

Hi J., My kids are 15, 11 and 8 and they all go to bed at 8pm every single night. they don't have to sleep, but they have to be IN their rooms and stay in there. I have done this with them since they were little, they NEVER slept in our bed. i think it has helped them put themselves to bed and when they get tired, they shut off their lights and go to sleep! when I go to bed, I go in and check on them and see if they are ok and shut off lights, radios, tuck them in etc. So keep a strict bed time with them and then you can have hubby to yourself! Good luck.

You put them to bed around 7:30 ( begin to prepare them 45 minutes before with the routines). Then if nothing else you and your husband if you both are exhausted can communicate wordlessly by cuddling.
If you have the strength to stay up and talk do so.

We have gotten in the habit of talking throughout the day- just quick little conversations to check in . We both work full time, so when we get home we want to spend time with our 3 year old as a family. By the time he goes to bed, I run on the treadmill, my husband does his thing, showers, lunches packed and coffee premade... it's 10:00 at night.

On the weekends we make sure to have time together, even if it's working on a project while our son is sleeping. We also go out to dinner or lunch once a month without our son. If it's on the calendar and we've booked the sitter, we do it. If it's not, we don't. So... we plan ahead so that we do have the time together!