S.J.
Hi P.,
My name is S., I went through a simular situation with my then boyfriend of 5 yrs right after I had my first son. Our relationship went downhill from there and ultimately turned into a permanent separation. I tried talking with him and telling him how I was feeling, that it seems that he was not interested in me anymore, and that it seemed that he didn't want anything to do with me or his son. After 3 yrs of trying to work it out I called it quits because he was not interested in working anything out with me. You can not make a relationship work without both of you being willing to fix it.
My current Fiance of 7 yrs, we hit a rough patch while I was still pregnant with our son who is now 21 months old. I thought he was not interested in me, I was so self concious because this man, my man is a tall glass of water as my mama would say. I told him I didn't like some of his actions to certain things and situations, and that I felt he was not affectionate enough to me. I told him what I needed him to change, and he told me what he needed me to change. Let me tell you I was the one who changed first on faith that if I give him what he needed he will then give me everything I wanted and needed. It worked. I complimented him every day 2 or 3 times a day, how sexy he was, how gorgeous he is and so on. I would tell him I appreciate him and everything he does for me and the kids that I respect him and his decisions for the household, whether or not he drove me crazy or frustrated me on any given day, and I didn't remind him of anything that I wanted to see changed or never said anything more than once on the chores that needed to be done around the house, whether he did them or not. If he said that he will do something I let him do it on his own time just left it there, no matter how much it bugged me. I also made sure I was always done up and never looking a mess, my hair was in place, my cloths looking sexy and clean, make-up on and I don't wear alot. I would dress up for him and ask him what he liked to see me in or what colors he like on me, and I made sure everything he said I got in my wardrobe. After 1 week of doing all the above, my man showed much improvement. I no longer had to tell him to do anything around the house he did it on his own, he was very much affectionate from then on, he all the time sends me text messages when he is in between cases at the hospital telling me he misses me and how sexy I am. He turned it all around and everything I did to help lift his ego, he has sure made me feel so secure no matter if any other gorgeous woman was to enter into the same room as we were in that his attention is fixed on me. It's been about 2 years almost and our relationship is still going strong and is stronger than when we first started having problems. He still calls me and texts me through out the day telling me that he can't wait to come home to his sexy fiance. That is such a good feeling to feel. I hope you get to experiance that with your boyfriend and everything works out for you. You should also check out these books on working our relationships and/or marriages, they greatly helped me and my fiance. The 1st one is His needs Her needs How to Build an Affair proof marriage, the 2nd one is Love & Respect The love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs. You can get these books at any Barns & Noble book store or Christians stores around the valley. Good Luck and I hope you two are successful in saving your relationship.
S.
