Marriage & Babies

It's way to early to stress. Stressing will only make it take longer. Try to relax and enjoy trying for a little longer.

Give it more time. It took my 10 months to 12 months to get pregnant each time (two misscarriage bfroe my first child) Then my sencond child came the first month I was off birth control. So one never knows. Also, a friend had two children and then divorced and remarried. She had her thrid chld recently. she said everything was totally different...more so then the minor differneces of the to with the first husband. she as super sick, carried iffernt, and getting pregnant was different. so giv eit time. If a year, then worry.

Don't stress out. Most Doctor's are going to tell you that you need to try for at lease 6 if not 12 months. I had help with both of my girls and it is not fun and it is not easy (and most of all not cheap). So don't let the stress be another factor. With talking with other mother who had the same problem most of them say that stress is a huge factor but once you stop worrying and stop thinking about it is when it happens. So just give it a little more time, there is nothing wrong with you!

I completely understand your concern. I went through the same thing except I was 36 and never had any children. My husband wanted a little boy and I just wanted a child. We tried and tried for months and started fertility testing when we found out I had to have surgery for a lump in my breast. We immediately stopped trying and two months later we found out we were pregnant. The really wild part is we were actually being careful when we conceived. I really think that trying to hard to get pregnant can actually prevent you from becoming pregnant. I know it sounds strange, but once I stopped worrying about getting pregnant it just happend. Now we have an amazing little boy.

Oh goodness, I doubt there is anything wrong with you if you have only been trying for four months. Go talk to your OB and see if they can give you a timeline of when to be concerned. With my first it took me 5 mos after getting off the pill, or around there, then with my second I got off the pill and four mos later I got pregnant.
If you have regular periods and no previous health issues it just takes time.
I hope you are doing this because YOU want another child, not just for your new husband. It has to be a mutual thing for both of you. If you just got married throwing a new baby in the mix just adds to the stress and chaos sometimes. Giving it time and if you are young then I wouldn't worry about rushing it. It is wonderful your new hubby is so caring for your little boy just remind him of how much work new babies are too! :) Good luck and go see your OB if you are really worried. Sometimes just trying without stressing helps.

Hi M.,
You most certainly need to wait more than 4 months. It takes some of us years to get the timing right. Relax about it, being tense or nervous about getting pregnant can make it more difficult. Have fun, enjoy your 2 year old and another will be along.
SarahMM

My doctor told me on average, it takes 12-18 months to get pregnant. Talk w your doctor if you have concerns. Try not to worry; that will just increase your stress level. Just relax.

Stop worrying so much about it and give it some more time. Do you know when you are ovulating? If not, talk with your doctor and figure that part out. Then try every other day for a 7 - 10 days starting a few days before you will start ovulating. Four months is really not a long time to be trying. Most doctors will tell you to give it a year.
If you are still worried, talk to your doctor. A lot of times stress can cause problems with getting pregnant. Again, talk to your doctor and good luck!

Oh honey, it's ONLY been four months. I know that seems like forever, but really and truly it sometimes just takes longer than that. Be patient and don't stress, it'll happen faster than you think :)

I didn't read all the posts so hopefully I am not duplicating..4 months, while it seems like forever, isn't very long. For some, it only takes once for others its longer. As hard as it may be, try not to stress out about it. I don't think that there is anything wrong with you or your husband. You both just need to relax and let nature take its course. It will happen when you least expect it.

I think 4 months isn't something to worry about, especially if you were on BC previously. I would give another few months....be sure youre charting and checking ovulation for the best dates. if its approaching a year I would make an appointment with your OB. I don't think most start infertility testing until after you've been off BC and actively trying for a year. But that might not be everyone. Place a call to them and see what their policies are. And then check your hubby if you need to. Be sure he is watching his alcohol intake, smoking, and general nutrition, as all of that will affect his little spermies =o) Good luck!

I agree with the others. 4 months isn't long enough to start worrying yet. If you were on a hormone birth control before you were married then some time needs to pass before your body totally readjusts and gets the clue that you have shifted gears and would like to become pregnant now. Also, if you do a little research and track your cycles you will have more success, because you are really not able to get pregnant every day of the month.

Kind regards,
TRUDI

I have inferitiliy problems and actually 4 months is not a long time at all. Most OBYGNs or specialists will not start running tests until you have been trying actively for 12 months and have been doing the basal body temps every day for at least 2 - 3 months. If you are over 35, the guidelines are a little sooner. You only have a 20 percent chance of conceiving every month, so in reality it should take about 5 months, but some are just a lot luckier and others like myself are not so much! Good Luck and just keep trying. You can buy ovulation kits on line at www.earlypregnancytests.com if you are a concerned...

M.,

Please read completely through. First of all, I got pregnant after being married only 14days. Frankly it was too soon. I did not get to enjoy my new marriage. So, consider this a blessing in disguise. Enjoy your hubby, be a girlfriend for awhile longer. It gets harder.

Second, our second child, due in January, took over 12 months to concieve. I am pushing 38 so time was a bit of a factor. I dont know how old you are but dont stress!!! If you are past 35 go see your doc and see what he/she says. But 4 months is nothing. You have got to relax. Funny but not uncommon, I started researching adoption and got pregnant. LOL.

Third, and I reiterate this point. Enjoy your husband, babies will come soon enough. Not that marriage is any less rewarding, but it is different. Enjoy your honeymoon phase!

Oh, M.. I don't think there's anything wrong, sweetie. 4 months isn't that long to have been trying. Give it some time, and I bet you will have a beautiful baby growing before you know it. WIth my daughter, my husband and I tried for 4 months and I was starting to get worried. I decided, "Ok, let's try this ovulation timing thing." I went online to WebMD and my husband and I read about how to know when you're ovulating. As I was reading the article, I said to my honey, "Oh, right now! It's right now!" So off we went, and I got pregnant that month! :) LOL Just relax, maybe try the timing thing, and it will happen.
Congrats on you marriage! Be happy and have fun!
S.

I know you have already gotten lots of responses but I thought I'd still throw my thoughts out there anyway. When it comes to having babies you have to realize that the whole process is in God's hands and God's timing. Babies are miracles...little innocent souls. So, really, when God knows you are ready for another little one you will have him/her. I didn't get pregnant with my first till I had been married for 4 months. After he was born I didn't get pregnant for 10 months. There is a 12 hour window in which a woman can get pregnant...that's what makes the conception of a child even more of a miracle! My sister-in-law couldn't get pregnant for 3 years....now she has 8 kids!! Be patient...they say God's timing is perfect. You'll have another baby for sure...don't worry! It'll happen before you know it! Good luck!

I was married for four years and was unable to get pregnant. I did not want to risk multiple children from fertility treatment and my husband and I were discussing who was going to go get "fixed" when it finally happened. Give it time first before getting worried.

Ok this advice comes from someone that does have an infertility problem. First off is your period regular? Second is there a history of infertility in yours or your husbands family? Third infertility can happen at any time. A good doctor will not wait a year anymore if you have been actively trying for 4 months. The truth is that there may not be anything wrong. But you can go in to your OB/GYN and ask for a hormone panel to be done. If you are at all concerned it is reason enough to at least talk to your doctor. They can tell more from a blood test then a basal body temperature chart. Here is my main advice. Take it easy. If you stress yourself over this you will only make the matter worse. Stress can cause infertility and when you have only been trying 4 months it could still happen. Enjoy your time with your husband and the child that you already have. I waited 4 years before I was able to have my first. My sister waited 9 years before having her first. I also know people that cannot concieve at all. So I believe that talking to a doctor as soon as you are concerned is important. I can't imagine how long those waits could have been if my sister or I had waited. If anything a doctor can put your mind at ease if there is nothing to worry about.

Give it time!! Many women don't get pregnant for awhile I wouldn't worry about it. Also just a thought but you are only recently married. I don't know how long you guys were going out before you go married but I would suggest giving your marriage a little more time as well. Living together, marriage AND and new baby is a lot of adjusting for both you and your husband as well as your son. Just some unwanted advice!

Aww 4 months is nothing to worry about. we tried activly for 4 YEARS befor our second decided to make an apperance. We finally made an appointment to see what was wrong. Everything checked out with me and the doc told us there was no reason it shouldn't happen. The day after my hubby turned in a sample for evaluation I realized I was late and went to the store for a pregnancy test. Surprise!

Hi M.,

Congrats on your marriage! As for not getting pregnant yet...stop worrying and give it time! However if you are terribly worried about it, go see your OB-GYN and rule out any physical problems. I have been blessed with two *children* and for me it took tons of patience (and that is putting it mildly) then eventually just plain giving up....my *kids* are 19 yrs apart! (Don't wait THAT long! LOL) My youngest will graduate high school next spring, and my oldest is married with two kids of his own!

Good luck!

I know it's frustrating, but it's only been four months... give it some time. Doctors usually don't consider you infertile until you've tried a year. Remember that many people (myself included) have taken a lot longer than four months to get pregnant.

I suggest give it more time. You didn't mention your age, but, I read that only 25% of healthy & young couples have a chance each month. Also, I've heard from a doctor and read that the reason a couple can't concieve can be 33% the woman, 33% the man and 33% the couple together. So, it may not be just you. Again, I'd give it more time. Doctors usually don't see someone unless they've been trying for 6 months to a year. Good luck and hope this helps.

Hi M.,
are you sure you want a baby so soon after being married? If so, stop worrying and enjoy your new husband, it can take a while to get pregnant. Maybe get a book from the library about fertility or look on line!

any time you are waiting for that blessing of a baby it feels like forever, and why are we so quick to assume it must be me? lol. Doctors won't even worry about it as a possible fertility issue unless it has been at a minimum one year. My doc. actually told us he wouldn't until it had been 2 and consistent, as in if my husband is deployed that time doesn't count. so while it is stressful, take a deep breath and focus on practicing...it will help keep it fun. :)

keep trying. track your cycles and keep trying. don't worry yet.

You have only been working at it for 4 month??? relax you are fine...
I had friends that worked on it for at least a year and then it finally happened.

I mean there may be an issue, but most doc won't even see you until you have tried for at least 6 months.
If you want to help things along you can try those ovulation kits from the store, but that is just added pressure and stress and that can lead to trouble conceiving.
I have a friend that is obsessed with those kits and I think it is actually driving her crazy :)

So best advice is just have fun with your new hubby and let nature do what it will.... then in 6 months or so go see your OB for some basic blood work and just check it all out. Perhaps your hubby also needs to have his boys checked out at that time.
Good luck!

It took me 9 months to get pregnant with my first. There was nothing wrong with me or my husband, sometimes it just take time and patience, as hard as that is! Ovulation kits helped, as well as just relaxing and not focusing on it so much! good luck!

Definately keep trying. But if you are really concerned about it, go see your OB/GYN. I did that before I got pregnant with my second son. Turns out I wasn't ovulating, which I thought I was. I also had to have a test done to check my fallopian tubes. After I had that test, I got pregnant a few weeks later.

I think it's normal to take up to a year to get pregnant. My OB said the average time is between 4-8 months of trying. Don't panic or stress about it, just enjoy yourself and it will happen. If you're still not pregnant in a year, have your OB/gyn check it out. YOur husband should also enjoy himself and not put added pressure on you. YOu guys are newlyweds, just have fun and don't think about "trying"!

M.,

You could be over anxious about getting pregnant. Just relax honey, today if the first of the rest of your life.
Take your time, it will happen. Four months is nothing.
Some times our desire for a child gets our cycle messed up a little and we can not conceive.
So like I said relax.
Good luck.

give yourself more time :) If you want to increase your chances study Natural Family Planning. It will help you understand when you are most fertile in your cycle. Good Luck and God Bless!

I agree with everyone that it's too early to worry.

It sounds like your husband is feeling some concerns and need to procreate. There could be a lot of feelings behind this (especially stemming from the fact that you're son isn't his son). You need to validate his feelings and let him talk about them without judgement. Let him discuss everything about your children - the one you have and the ones you will have - and listen without judgement. He may just need reassurance. Listen carefully too. There may be need for a bit of couples therapy/counseling - not that there's anything wrong with your relationship. But you want to get issues about your previous son out in the air and dealt with, at least by him (even if he doesn't tell you about them all). You don't want to start setting up anything that could lead him to treat your son differently from his own children - even if he doesn't mean to! He may not even realize he's doing it, or that he's got any jealous feelings ...

Good luck and hang in there!