As someone who has been married for 20 years I applaud you for reaching out for help. I've found that some years are better than others! I'd suggest both couple and solo therapy. In my view, most marital issues come from our unresolved childhood nuttiness, and we've got to clean up that act before we can move our marriges forward in a meaningful manner. Having said that, we "train" our spouses to aggravate our issues and couples work can be helpful in alleviating some of those touch points! I don't live in your area, but I'm sure you'll get ton's of referrals. Remember, interview the therapist before commiting, and if your husband is ambivalent, don't take him on the interview appts, just go yourself. Just because someone else likes a therapist does not mean they're for you. Good luck, and hang in there!