Managing the Chaos with Multiple Kiddos

It would be helpful to make all of your dinners in advance. You might want to make the weeks meals on Sunday (when your hubby is home) and freeze them for the week. Also, make prepackaged snacks (put them in snack bags) and keep them in the pantry. If your kids take a bath every other day, start the cycle on Sunday, so that they only need 2 during the week. Have all of their outfits put together in large zip locks in their drawers. Have shirts, pants, socks and panties in one zip lock, ready to go. If you think they may get into them, keep them up high. It will just take a little getting used to. Just keep a tight schedule and keep them on a routine.

We also do foster care and have birth daughters that are 6 and 4, and adopted boys that are 5, and 2. I have found that the best thing you can do is be consistent. Have them eat, nap(the younger 2), go to bed, etc. at the same time every day. Sometimes you can get off if something comes up but that's the easiest way because they learn the schedule and will be calmer because they know what to expect. Pick 5 different lunches and just rotate them so you don't have to think about it. You can also use the little ones' nap time as quality time with your daughter as she's getting used to these changes in her family. I usually eat lunch while the 2 year old is napping and the older 2 are outside playing :o) My 4 year old is a special needs child so she's like a 10-12 month old.
I also have a very helpful hubby when he's home so that helps a lot. He takes the kids in the evening after supper until bedtime so I can get caught up. And all my kids go to bed at 7:30.
Hope this helps. Don't worry, you'll find your groove :o)
J.
Mom to 4, sometimes more :o)

keep it on a schedule is the easiest. we have 5 kids its so much easier when things are the same for everyone. you said the afternoon's are when things start to down hill... here is our afternoon schedule. at 11-11:30 we eat lunch then the babies lay down to sleep around 1 (even the baby i watch) they usually sleep until atleast 3. then the older kids come home and its snack time for all of them. we usually eat dinner around 6. while im cooking the older kids will help with the baby if i need them to and the toddler will "help" by playing with the food drawer. in there i have empty food boxes, bowles, plastic glasses, and tupperware things and pretty much anything else he throws into it. i always have music playing and we will dance and be goofy while im cooking. the older ones clean up the table when they are done. we have bath days.. the older three take one on sundays, tuesday and thursday, they take one as soon as i fill the dish water after supper. the younger ones usually on wednesday and saturday. (i know alot of people do baths more often but i feel washing them with a wash cloth if they need touched up is fine and i will bathe the babies during the day usually after snack time so the older kids can help keep an eye on the other baby, and it frees up my nights) then they have thier chores.. dogs, putting laundry away, dishes. our bedtime goes.. around 7 the older kids will read to the toddler each one story (takes about a half hour and it helps the older with reading out loud) then its bed time at 7:30 for the babies. at 8 the 8 and 9 yr old brush teeth and wash thier faces and get pj's on then bed at 8:30, at 8:30 the 12 yr old starts and bed at 9. then we have about and hour for my hubby and i before we go to bed. i know what its like to do it on your own.. my hubby leaves at 5:30 am and gets home at 7pm, eats, showers then relaxes on the couch... so its pretty much me doing it alone (feels that way anyways). sticking to a schedule helps so much for everyone, the kids know what to expect and i don't have to listen to them complain anymore when i ask them to do it cause its written on a schedule and taped to the fridge door.
i hope this helps some and congrats on your expanded family! it can be stressful at times but so worth it!

Use a crockpot to prepare dinner. That way you can do all the prep work in the morning and have your hands free near dinnertime. Your 5yo is capable of setting the table for you while you microwave some veggies and keep an eye on the other 2. Also create structure around mealtime (my rules include once I sit down for dinner I will not get up to get anything else until I am done...anyone over the age of 3 sits at the table until they are done and have asked to be excused and they take their dishes to the sink). If you find yourself jumping up from the table a lot because you forgot something then make a checklist. It could have pictures and your 5yo could help check things off to make sure everything is ready before you sit.

Have some special things for your two older ones to do while you are cooking supper. Let them entertain the 10 month old if possible while cooking. Make sure the naps are on schedule and snacks. I use to put my granddaughter in her high chair and feed her early, then give her a few cheerios to keep her busy. My two older kids are 17 month apart and my youngest is 4 and 5 1/2 younger then his brother and sister. I don't remember it being hard to get things done, if they got cranky, they were put down for a nap, but usually they already went through the schedule. Waking up at 6 or 7, nap at 10 lunch at noon, nap at 1pm, dinner at 5 or 6 and bedtime at 8 (7 when they had to be up at 6 to catch the school bus). We kept this schedule until we moved to town when the youngest was 5 and bedtime became 8 and they woke up at 7. When my youngest went to my mom's house one evening and she didn't bring him home until 8:30 or 9, he was very irratated when she wouldn't let him fall asleep on the way home. He got out of the car, put his hands on his hips and said "I guess NOW we know why I have a 8'clock bedtime!" It just takes a bit to get their schedule worked out.

First congrats on your family decision to foster!! Handling a family of more than a couple can be a challenge. We have 5 child, 2 biological & 3 adopted. How long have the foster children been with you? They still may be going through adjustment. The "HONEYMOON" period can take away then real life sets in. Good luck ever sitting down to eat a hot meal from beginning to end! HAHAHA That's just being a Mom, someone ALWAYS needs something during mealtime.

The most important thing to do is keep STRUCTURE! Make a routine and stick to it, everyday! I made a time chart I put on the kitchen cabinet so the kids know what is next, but it is actually for ME!! With the busy household, "I" needed the reminder on what time to do what next. Try a time chart, it works great for us!

Being with the kids most of the time alone can also make it a challenge. My husband is involved with a few organizations that require meeting at night & we also own a small business that need his attension in the evenings. The time chart really helps with that because even if Daddy is away, the schedule is the same. It's the nights that Daddy is home that the chart goes all to heck!! HAHAHA

Good Luck!!

I have a 3 year old boy, a 2 year old boy and a 7 month old girl, and a husband who works 7-7 6 days a week, 2 large dogs and 2 cats. I understand everything you are going through. I have no good advice but... remember to enjoy them!!! When your stessed are frustrated because nothing is getting done, including dinner, (remeber there is always PB & J) just look around at all the madness and smile and enjoy. It really takes some effort to do this the first few times you try, but it becomes easier, and it's ok if you eat at 7:30 some nights, it's ok if you have to use a diaper wipe to give a "bath" and try again tommarrow. Have fun and enjoy them! (Sometimes I skip making dinner for my husband and I until the kids are in bed, and then i make something "fancy" like frozen shrimp scampi from the freezer section. We have a date at 10 at night)

Hi D.,

You are awesome people! I look up to you for taking in foster children....how unselfish and giving you are...especially taking on a 2 1/2 year old and a 10 month old all at once. You need to get a routine schedule going, and then be consistent, as possible. Children like consistency...it makes them feel safe, and happy. They like to know what they can expect, and this will make them become more comfortable that much sooner, and the sooner they become comfortable the less crying you will hear. Make sure they also get the naps, and rest they need....tired children are not happy. The 10 month old should be taking at least 2 naps a day, and the little girl should take an afternoon nap of around 2 hours, or more. Sleeping is a habit, so make it a good habit. You will appreciate the outcome.

Congratulations on the new additions to your family...just make sure everyone is well rested and they're on a consistent schedule.

C.

First of all, it's wonderful that you're helping foster children. That is so important! Here's what I'd say: routines are your friend...that way everyone knows what to expect and things run more smoothly. Also, my kids have always had really early bedtimes (my oldest just turned 5 and now goes to bed at 7:30--that's up from 7:00). That way I and my husband actually get some "grown-up" time at night and are more refreshed and ready to deal with the kids again in the morning. I'm sure that other people will have some more great ideas for you, but those are my personal favorites :)

J.,
Mom to Emma & Devon (5) and Ethan (14m)

Wow, that is so great of you to be a foster mom! You are doing so much for these kids. I only have one little one, but he gets pretty loud and frankly crazy before meals. I've discovered that sitting him down for a really hearty snack after his afternoon nap helps him stay calm until dinner's ready. Most days, he eats dinner with us at 6 or so, but there are days that he's gotta eat now!! It helps to have things on hand that are really easy to make. I buy Annie's Organic microwave mac and cheese and then add steamed veggies. If you steam a bunch of veggies at once, you can keep them on hand. Anyway, not the healthiest of meals ever, but at least it satisfies him when he's crazy!! Also, is the 10 month old eating finger foods? Putting him in his high chair with something to nibble on might help reduce the chaos a little!! With your dog, I'd work with her to teach her which toys are hers and which are the kids'. She'll learn eventually. I'm sure everyone will get used to the new situation (and chaos) in time! Good luck!
Amy

Wow! Congratulations it sound like you are doing a great job of taking care of the children. Here are a couple of tips from an old child care provider. Use a crock pot or frozen food for dinner. Or package your own meals when the kids are asleep and just heat them up. Always make sure everyone including yourself has an afternoon snack that includes protein. This helps with blood sugar spikes and dives, which contribute to a lot of crying. Healthy fats help with that too. Put on some great dance music after snack and whoop it up. Your toddler and 5 year old will join you if you start dancing and you can hold the baby at the same time. Giving this healthy snack and spending some quality time with them is key. Then you won't feel guilty letting them watch an educational video for about 1/2 hour while you put the finishing touches on dinner. Maybe you could have the baby in a pack, carrier or sling. Depending on age and temperament, you might use a swing or a bouncy seat or this time. I have had a mixed age group for 16 years, including babies and I think keeping to a schedule helps a lot. Bedtime and baths are not my specialty since I mainly care for children during the day but personally, I think many people in our society bath too often. If you feel comfortable skipping occasionally go for it. Baby wipes can clean them up pretty well when you are pressed for time. Hope this helps a bit and keep up the great work!