OK...now this is the story I have from kids and my Son. On Friday on the way home from school, my Son got on the School Bus at 2:20, the bus then goes to pick up the Middle School followed by High School. While at the High School this would be around 2:50-2:55, my Son said to the bus driver he needed to go to the Bathroom. My Son is the type, when he says he has to go HE HAS TO GO, lol. Then about 4 other of the YOUNGER children said they needed to go as well. The Bus Driver, who was a TEMP, his name is Jake and he radioed the Usual Bus Driver, Miss Benson and told her of the situation, she said NO. No one could get off the Bus! I mean, I understand, this would throw off their schedule, put you have 5 small kids that needed to go to the bathroom and you are at a School where their are over 30 plus busses and crossing guards, teachers...more than enough pp to have helped with the situation. THEY REFUSED THE KIDS. The bus started on it's way home, which usually arrives at out stop at 3:25. My Son started crying and said he had to go REALLY BAD. Jake, the Bus Driver handed Sean the 10year old sitting with my Son, a Recycling Bin and said, GO IN THAT. THey were seated behind the bus driver. Sean handed the bin to my Son and he pulled down his pants and went. All the while the bus was moving, kids were laughing and watching. No paper or tissue was given to my Son, which explains his clothes, covered in feces. When they arrived at the Bus Stop, My Son ran into the Bathroom. I walked up to see what is taking him so long, only to be told he was in the bathroom. He clearly had diarrhea and I noticed his clothes, he said it was dirt, I smelled them, NOT DIRT. As I walked to my car, a Mother came over and told me what her Son had witnessed and immediately I was furious and heartbroken. I got home, called my husband in tears and he called the school. It was almost 4pm, he got the Dispatcher of the bus and agreed it was unacceptable. So, that is where we are. I have left a message for the principal, to inform him to be expecting me Monday Morning. I saved my Son's clothed as well. I just feel this should have never ever happened if they had dealt with it at the High School. Also my Son's babysitter is on the same bus, the drover could have pulled over and let her take him somewhere. I understand there is protocol, but this can't be the best solution. If anything, I can help prevent this from happening to another child. It is has been a rough week, first on Tue then let my Son het severely sunburned and now this 3 days later, this happens, I can't let it go. He was 95 degree heat and no one called me or reapplied his sunblock, water was involved and the sunscreen I had put on him that morning had washed off, it was Field Day. I have pictures of the burn, they are horrifying. All input is appreciated, I just feel I need to address this, what do you all think? Thanks
I am so sorry to hear what happened to you child. I agree that you should get legal help, and expose what the bus co / driver did and also the school. was there any adult with the kids?
and for those who said that you should put him in private school or deal with it- is people like that who must likely be the ones acting like the driver did.
Just ignore those comments
You probably need to speak to the person in charge of the buses rather than the principal. I would be sad for my child if this had happened to her. I was a school teacher and we had a 5th grader crying because she had to use the restroom. I told the bus driver to pull over on the side of the road (we were a long way from a restroom) and I blocked her while she used the bathroom.
I am a school bus driver and that is just aweful. I would have pulled over and called base. Then I would have given him the can but I personally would have blocked him so that he could have some privacy, and I would have moved the students that were around him so they couldn't see what was going on. I also always have a roll of paper towels on my bus so that he could clean himself. That was very rude of that driver to do that to him.
I would call the school again and call the bus garage and complain. Also tell them that if nothing is done about this you are going to contact a lawyer. Do not tolerate this behavior. Keep at it until something is done. Also let your son know that if any of the kids say anything that he is to tell the teacher. That is considered bullying.
I had a simular thing happen the other day but the girl threw up. I always keep clean bags for when that happens. I move the student to the front of the bus and give them the bag when they tell me that they feel sick. The other kids made fun of her and complained of the smell. I got her home as quickly and safely as I could and had her father come to the bus to get her. When she got off I pulled over and talked to the kids. I told them that wasn't very nice what they did and how would they feel if it was them that was sick. The next day I made them apoligize to her for what they did.
Do not let this go. Keep calling the school until something is done about it. I wish you luck and remember not all bus drivers are bad. Drivers like the one that you had make the rest of us look bad. Good Luck!!
Oy vey... what a PROBLEM!!!
I mean... there's no good way to look at this. Either
- Soils his pants in front of everyone
- Given a receptacle
- Bus pulls over and either
a) abandons / leaves unprotected 5-50 young children while he takes your son into the nearest business or
b) has your 5yo son get off the bus unescorted to go by HIMSELF into some strange business full of strange adults for god only knows how long
Then you have the "go straight to school" or "finish the route" option the driver had. Either taking 5-50 young children to a place which may or may not have had anyone ready to transfer responsibility to WHILE leaving 5-50 children standing on curbs (typically without parental supervision)... or finish the route and get the rest of his charges on board and get everyone to school.
I think... given the situation... that the driver did the best they could in an AWFUL situation. Your son's embarrassment in trade for his and the other student's physical safety.
But what an awful choice to have to make.
OK, if he was really sick and frantic, I would have hoped the driver would at LEAST stopped the bus and in a caring tone, have his sister help hold up something to block, whatever. And firmly coached the kids to stay seated and mind their own business or whatever.
I simply don't know what the protocol should have been and what the driving situation was, freeway, calm neighborhood, what. Try to stay calm and find out exactly what happened. I guess I would go to the school principal first to find out who to talk to. If the driver broke a rule regarding sickness on the bus, that needs to be addressed. I'm not sure there is a legal angle to take here yet.
No matter WHAT you need to support your son and daughter. I think if it were my 5 year old (I'm almost in tears reading this) I would say, "Sweetie, this is an example of something really terrible that happens sometimes. I know you feel embarrassed and that's normal. All the kids who saw you could have been in your place, and they will have bad things happen too, it's just how life is, please don't worry." and comfort comfort comfort and talk talk talk.
I might even find out who some of the kids who saw it were and talk to their parents to ask for support on how they explain it to their kids so they realize how bad your son feels and he needs to know that it's OK. Even one kid (especially an older one) approaching him and saying, "How are you man, don't feel bad, we all get sick" and putting an arm around him would mean so much. Kids won't think to do that unless their parents explain things and coach it. I'm sure lots of them went home and told their parents what happened. Maybe some of them adivsed them to offer comfort and NOT make fun of him, but you never know these days, I would follow up with some talks to them if I could. If a parent approached me about this if it happened to their child I would 100% listen and help if I could.
I would also ask that the teachers explain to the kids that this is nothing to make fun of and any one of them could have been in that situation and tell them how to act. They may only reach the nicest kids, but that's better than none. I would want this for my child and if she saw that happen to another child, she would DEFINITELY be happy to offer comfort, she would feel relieved there was a nice way to handle it.
If things don't turn hostile and legal, and he returns to the bus, maybe you could have a word with the driver and nicely ask him/her to be sure to make your son feel better. Just a, "hey buddy, how are you feeling today?" when he boards. Maybe someone from the school, can speak to the bus load of kids about illness on the bus and the right behavior.
That's all I can really think of. I'm so sorry this happened to your little guy and I hope you can rally support.
If you haven't talked with an adult chaperon that is the first step. You need to know all the circumstances that caused this choice. Ask questions with an open mind. Only after knowing more will you know what you can or should do.
I can't tell from your post but it sounds like there may not have been any better of an alternative. Would you rather he soil is pants? What would you have done in this situation keeping in mind that there are rules and regulations that have to be followed.
Living in PA myself, this does not surprise me in the least.
I would call child services and report this driver...cruel and unusual punishment and endangering the welfare and mental state of a child would be first on my list of charges to bring up. Calling the Superintendent doesn't always get results...but the School Board has meetings and I would definitely be bringing this up. I would also go to the local paper and a write a letter to the Editor about the incident.
Now on the Mommy end of things..I would've knocked the driver in the teeth and pushed his face in the recycling bin.
This was an extreme circumstance and the bus driver handled it horrible. I would register a complaint against the bus company. I would have a meeting with principal tomorrow. Dont take no for an answer. I would make that bus apolize to your son in front of all those kids.
I am so sorry this happened. Are the buses and drivers part of your school district, or an independent bus company? I would call the superintendant of schools. Your son should never have been told to pull his pants down and expose himself to other kids. Unfortunately, the only other option would have been to sit him by himself and have him go in his pants. Bus drivers aren't allowed to see kids naked and their contract likely does not include toileting. Sadly, there are no bathrooms on school buses and if a kid has to go on the bus and can't hold it, they do go in their pants. Did the bus driver actually tell him to pull his pants down and go to the bathroom in the recycle bin, or did the other kid tell him to do it?
Get an attorney ASAP! I am so sorry your little boy had to go through this.
That is terrible. Your poor little boy. I would be seeking legal advice also and consider moving schools. Good luck.
Light up the phone lines! Call everyone you can! Principal, board of Ed, bus company (again!) local news isn't a bad idea. That is completely unacceptable! Give your little guy a hug!
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C.,
I am so sorry you and your children had to endure such ignorance!!!
I would notify the police that the bus driver did this... Child endangerment. I would also have your children transferred to another school. Your child will never live the humiliation down for the rest of his school life... he will be know as the "boy who crapped in a bucket on the bus."
This made me so angry reading that a bus driver would do something like this to a child. He could of stopped somewhere and let him use the bathroom and made a phone call to you so you could meet them there.
He made your poor son expose himself and use the bathroom in front of a bus of children... Something serious needs to be done.
I would also bring a law suit against the school, bus company and the driver personally.
This has to be reported to the school transportation department -- if you don't know how to contact them, I am sure the school principal can help you. Whether there is a protocol for sick kids in place or not (and I can't imagine there wouldn't be), that was NOT the correct way to handle that situation and that is something your son will not soon forget, if ever. I would raise as much hell as I had to to ensure nothing like that ever happens again and to make sure that bus driver is reprimanded appropriately.
I am sorry your son had such a nasty experience, but you need to remember that the school and the driver have rules in place for many reasons and breaking the rules can lead to lawsuits as well. If you want your child to have the flexability for every situation, you drive them to school and you pick them up. We all need to accept that buses and public schools are designed for the majority and not the individual. You can scream and shout and maybe even force the school to defend a lawsuit, but do not complain when the quality of education decreases. There is only a limited amount of money and if you want perfect pay for the private school in your area. I know some will see this as harsh, but expecting a free and perfcet system is crazy. You get what you pay for......
Like others have stated....this is terrible and unacceptable!!! I would def. make many calls to the school, superintendent...etc.! I have a quick question...why isn't there an aide on the bus esp. since your child is only 5 (inc. your daughter) and w/ older students? Although the older students may be peer buddies, an aide can help in emergency situations!! I would look into that or ask for one b/c of this incident! Good Luck and VOICE your concerns! Remember...it's always the ones that challenge and make enough noise that people listen too ;)
I would have this person fired. How dare they do something like that. And how about the bus moving, what if God for bid they got into an accident. I would differently contact the school and the school bus director. My goodness, what this child had to go through. I am so sorry for him. Do something!
I know I'm late in responding, and you've already gotten some great responses, but I just have to say -- wow. It is absolutely horrible and shocking that someone would do this to a child.
AND, it's bad enough that you can and should get some serious results.
I would call the following people, and then some:
* Bus company
* School principal
* School superintendent
* Members of the school board
* Child Protective Services
* Politicians (mayor, city council members, state senators, etc.)
* Every local media outlet you've got (on that last one, though, insist on using ONLY your first name and not your son's name at all, to protect him from further humiliation)
I think this is important not only to protect other children from having this happen, but also to teach your son a crucial, essential lesson: if something like this happens, you can and should (nonviolently) FIGHT BACK. It's really essential that this situation end with a triumph, that he doesn't forever look back on it feeling victimized. And, because they were SO out of line, you probably WILL score some kind of significant victory -- at least you'll get people who are in a position of power to look your son in the eye, tell him they personally are sorry this happened, and that they'll never, ever let it happen again. After an experience like this, your son DESERVES some justice, and going forward, he'll NEED the experience of seeing justice done. Okay, end of rant.
Oh, and p.s., if you're anything like me, do this SOON, while you're still mad. If I wait and sit on something, I tend to get all shy and polite, and I'm a lot less effective in that mode.
OMG - I don't think I can help, but when you said "this was in Pennsylvania," I (probably unfairly) wasn't surprised. When I was in second grade - in PA - I went camping with my girl scout troop. The first morning, I had diarrhea, but when I tried to go to the bathroom, the mom nearest me wouldn't let me because it was time for breakfast (they were having a hard time getting all the girls to sit down). I ended up going in my pants right there in the mess hall. I was mortified and hid the dirty underwear under my cot - as far as I could tell, nobody knew what had happened. Unfortunately, another girl found my stinky drawers and paraded around the cabin, holding them aloft and telling everyone very loudly that they were mine. I honestly can't remember what happened next - all my other memories of that trip are positive. But that incident is still clearly etched in my mind 30 years later. I don't know what, if anything, can be done in your case - the added element of danger, (being on a moving bus!), seems to be a huge issue. Have you spoken to a lawyer? I don't know what kind of precedent there is legally, I just know I have been in many situations (not just in PA) where adults don't take kids' bathroom claims seriously - too busy, in a hurry, or "you just went!" seem to be common responses. Best of luck - I feel for your son and hope that he is able to look back at this and laugh some day, I know that has helped me tremendously.
This was a difficult situation, handled badly. Given the bus policy and potential safety issues there may not have been a good solution (although there might have been some a bit better than what happened). All I can think of is if there were other adults at the school someone could have taken him to the bathroom then. Maybe you could have been called to pick him up from the school.
I also have a 5 year old son and sometimes he waits until the last minute to run to the bathroom. It is hard to imagine a little kid like that waiting an hour on the bus. I would hope the teacher at least gives the kids an opportunity to use the bathroom before dismissal, even if that wouldn't have helped if he suddenly was sick and had to go. I would definitely find out the school and bus company policies on sick children and bathroom breaks.
Get an Attorney.
I am sure there are witnesses of course. Including his sister.
Document everything well.
This is so so, wrong.
At the least, what a safety hazard... making him do that WHILE the bus was moving and being driven. In front of all the kids. Him being partially unclothed, too.
Your son DID try to ask to go to a bathroom.
This was an exception circumstance... he had diarrhea/was not well.
Buses have communication/radio devices on board.
The bus driver could have stopped and taken had one of the 16 or 17 year olds take him to the bathroom. There is no excuse. I would definitely report this to the school and bus company. I can understand if there are only young children and the driver was alone...no, wait, I can't.....you can have another child or two go and take your child into a business with the bus driver near the door watching both the children and the bus. My question is, did you child feel well before leaving the school? Did the diarhea occur on the bus or was it already happening at the school-because in that case, the school should've called you to pick him up. I have no advice, but be supportive of your son...it will be forgotten.....I agree-see if some of the other children can also be supportive of him.
wow call school bus company local tv and news thats so bad and he is so young what a experience go all the way to top good luck
