My sons father and I are not together anymore but my son still goes to his mothers house for child care during the week while we are at work. I found out that the "new girlfriend" has been picking my son up for him. I had already spoken to the sitter about this and told her I did not want her picking her up and she told me she would not allow her to do so. I asked her if she had allowed it and she lied to me and told me no. Does anyone know if I can now take my ex to court to have this put in our agreement then???? I feel it is our responsibility to pick him up and if he can't fulfill it then he should ask me to get him.
I would try to find other babysitting arrangements until the situation is resolved. The mother has no business releasing the child the a stranger. You don't know her!!
If you didnt' give written permission to the babysitter you can sue her.
first off "men will be men"....they lie and we cant do anything about it....well to be honest with u i was in a similar situation about 2 years ago....my ex-husband(my daughters father) and i divorced and it was a nasty and i mean nasty divorce and his current girlfriend was Scared lol of me and refused to meet me cause she thought i was going to beat her up lol....it really made me mad when i heard this. i tried so hard in court to keep this woman away from my dauhgter but they honestly did not want to know anything about the situation and the judge was only concerned about the child support and the well being of the child....Hope i helped a little
Is the girlfriend a bad person? You are right that his father should pick him up, but if the girlfriend isn't a bad person then why does it matter? It might be saving money on daycare overtime fees for her to pick him up sooner then his dad could.
I completely agree that the lying is inappropriate as well as him asking someone who you have not approved to pick up your child. It is putting the life of the child in the hands of someone who you don't feel should be responsible for them. I do beleive that you can amend the custody agreement to include clauses of this sort and you should definitely pursue it and maybe even look into alternate day care situation which I know can be very hard but it may be the only way to make sure that this person isn't picking up your child ( a day care center will not release the baby to anyone who is not on your approved list.
I'd just start picking up my kid myself. That or find a new sitter.
You don't know this woman and you don't know if she's capable of caring for you kid. How do you know if there are drugs in the car or any shady stuff going on. If your kid is endangered you'll be convicted because you're the mother and you should have not put your kid in her care even though you don't expressed to the people involved it's not what you want.
Nip this in the bud now.
Hi J.. YES YOU CAN have this done in court. i went through this too. my daughters father would have his gf pick up my daughter from daycare without telling me. so i took him to court and now hes the only 1 in his family that can pick her up. if i were you i would go for sole custody. you can get pretty much anything you want on paper. if he still lets his gf pick up your child, you can always take him back to court for violation of a court order, then you will really get anything you want lol...i know thats not nice but its true lol. good luck, let me know what happens:-)
Hi J.,
I'm in a similar situation as you where my ex-boyfriend's mother still provides child care for our two girls. Make sure your custody papers say who can and cannot pick up your son from child care. If it's not specific, then petition the courts for a change in agreement ASAP. You do not know this "new girlfriend" nor should you trust her. It is very unsafe for your ex and his mother to have someone you do not know pick up your child. Look into a licensed day care as well. They can make sure that the only people picking up your child is who is listed on the pick-up sheet. Believe me, I'm still trying to find alternate child care for my girls and I know it's expensive on your own. Make sure you document the days that your son was picked up by someone other than you or your ex-husband. It's definitely not right for his mother to lie to you about it. Good luck!
Hi J.!
I have gone through divorce and custody, yes, you can put pretty much anything you want in the paperwork. Once it's filled, if anything is done differently than what's in the paperwork, you can take him to court for violation the court order. If I were you, I'd just try to get full custody and leave him with visitation. Then you wouldn't have to put up with a new girlfriend or have to worry about that right now. It's easier said than done, I know. Good luck to you!
L.
I can't believe the day has come that I'm actually going to answer this question.
I am a single mom of a 9yr old & 11 yr old. I had a brutal, divorce by the time I was 23.
Anyhow, the bottom line is your hurt, mad etc. (rightfully so).
I went through this same thing. I think if his girlfriend picked them up OR dropped them off you would still be mad. Will the court make him if you ask? I'm positive they will. Then guess what he'll do ...pick up kids with the girlfriend. Unfortunately, it's just a sad situation I'm sorry you have to go through along with a lot of other people.
Advice>
Stay strong
Stay focused
Take deep breaths
Pray
Dont give up
I promise it WILL get better!
To be honest I did not even read the other responses. I work for a divorce attorney in Albany. I was also a single mom of two boys. I am now remarried with a third boy. I really don't understand why there is so much fighting about the "new people" when couples split up. I would have loved the extra help when I was raising my two boys and trying to work and keep them in a nice home. There dad was never really around for me to get help. The only help I did get was when he finally found a girlfriend. He did remarry and divorce. But when he found this girlfriend she was great with my kids. She helped with them more than he did. He was the basic every other weekend dad. But she was there for them. He recently got sick and passed away and I am still friends with the girlfriend, and my boys still go and visit her. If the girlfriend is nice and safe, then try and meet her and make friends, it will be easier on the kids. If you don't want the guy back, then what does it matter if he has a girlfriend who is helping him. At least he is working and has someone who is helping him. If he wasn't working than you would be complaining about that. If your job lets you get out everytime to pick up your child, than thats great, but you might really appreciate the help.
Unfortunately, the court will probably say that as long as the girlfriend is fit to do so he can choose she pick up the child. I went through the same thing and they put in the agreement that if he cannot watch the child while I am at work than he needs to have someone reliable and responsible enough to do so. But if you can do it when he cant definetly try that. Let me know how it works out for you
J.
How long has the father been with this girlfriend? Is this girlfriend going to be around for a while, or is the first of many to come? Is this new girlfriend nice to your child? Does she care for love and nurture your child the way she would her own? I personally feel that if the girlfriend has been around a while and is good with your child I see nothing wrong with this situation. I know you may not like this response and Im sorry for that. Good Luck
