I had my baby 7 months ago and I have lost all my baby weight but the skin on my stomach is still jiggly. I know it takes time but the problem is that it is starting to interfear with mine and my husbands sex life. When we try to have sex the only thing I can think about is if he is staring at my stomach. HE tells me over and over again that he dosn't notice or care because I gave him our son, but I can't help but think about how my tummy is jiggling. Any advice on how to get past this problem? I am just so use to my old flat stomach and perky breast.
I have the same problem...only i just had m y son on the 23rd of january....it sucks!!!!i hate thinking about it....it has even led me to believe that he may find someone else.....whatever you do just be confident....if he's a good guy he really won't care....
Okay I don't know if I am giving you advice or just a lil' sympathy... I had my son in June, I am 22, I lost all my baby weight and I too have the extra skin on my belly. I wear about a size 4, but when I sit down my stomach sits on top of my belt hehe. I am really starting to panic now that summer is coming up, uh but not enough to work out though. My breast are still okay but its cause I am nursing who knows what kind of disaster they'll look like when I wean. I use to really worry about my stomach, Oh and I have lots of stretch makes too, but now I just keep telling myself that my son was worth it and if its that bad when your done having kids you can save up and have a procedure done. In the mean time I use creams so at least I can say I tried. I focus on stuff I can change, like nice cloths, shoes, get my hair done. Believe your hubby when he says he doesn't care, he loves you. Turn the lights off, invests in some pretty underthings that make you feel good. You can join a gym w/ childcare. Go on walks, buy a baby seat for a bike. Don't be so hard on yourself you just had a baby!
Life changes our bodies. Do what you can with diet and excercise, other than that, accept that he loves you as you are. I am terribly scarred from an emergency c-section incision that was also re-opened because of infection. Learn to make peace with what you can't change. I think of the serentiy prayer. God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
I know it can be hard not to let our self image interfer with everything we do, but ir it is hurting your relationship with you husband, then you have to try. You might try talking to your husband, and letting him know how selfconscience you are of your stomach right now. Ask him to focus on other parts of your body, and let him know that right now, while you are getting everything back together, you really need to hear him say (often) how much he loves you and how beautiful he thinks you are - ESPCIALLY during those physical times. That should help you self image some. Also try to avoice positions that would make your stomache "jiggley".
Hope this helps.
S.
I am a 37 yr old mother to a 4 year old boy, and wife of a wonderful man for 6 years.
Of course I totally agree with other mamas about changing your perspective but I also relate to feeling down on yourself. It's hard to mentally wrap your mind around the physical changes of childbirth. This is especially hard when we are bombarded with stories of how such and such celebrity lost all of her babyweight in just 2 months! My son is now almost 15 months and although I lost the pregnancy weight within 9 months my body is still restablizing and changing shape. Workouts with weights and Pilates and/or yoga help tremendously to build stomach muscle and reduce jiggle.
It sounds like your husband truly loves you and accepts you for WHO you are and NOT what you look like. Praise God for that. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! Look from the inside out and not from the outside in! Everyone has given you some great advice. Eat the right foods, keep active and don't forget to make some time for you and work out. By working out, you can tone some of the muscle. You have the power to change what you can but accept those that you cannot change. Buy something pretty to wear, use music and candles. You don't have to have the lights blazing in the background. Set the scene so that you are comfortable and feel beautiful.
Blessings
M.
trust me we worry about our image way more than the men...actually probably ONLY we worry about it. I know from experience with my husband that it is more of a turn off when you keep talking about it, and show that you feel uncomfortable. The key is just to try your best to be comfortable in the body you have. Your husband will love it if you can just be you. I know its easier said than done, but unless you have just gained an extreme amount of weight...your husband is still turned on by you, and really does not notice.
All men want naked,soft skin. Don't keep reminding him of YOUR insecurity, that isn't sexy. If you make hime feel like a piece of meat when he walks through the door, he wouldn't care how big, small, or whatever, he won't be able to keep his hands off of you, all of you. You can get some lingere that covers just that area with garters and all that fun stuff. Just feeling sexy is sexy. Go get your man girl, and show him just how much he turns you on. Be careful though. Thats how you'll end up with #2, #3, #4 etc...
M., I can definitely relate. I am a 30 year old with 2 boys (12 & 10 years old). I have had the loose skin and stretch marks since giving birth to my oldest when I was 17 and I have learned to get used to my stomach looking that way even though it is not the sexiest look! LOL
I have a very flat tummy, and you could never tell with clothes on, but naked is a whole other story. But anyway, after 12 years, I decided that I wanted to wear a bikini, wear something sexy for my husband without strategically placing clothing over that area, or hell, just wear a shirt that I wouldn't be worried about showing my belly when I raised my arms! :-) So I recently went for a consult to have a tummy tuck. This is the ONLY thing that will get rid of the loose, sagging, skin. No, I'm not doing it for the hubby, he could care less and has always told me that he loves and adores my body. I am doing it for me (I wanna see my belly button again!)
But seriously, give it some time to sink in (you're still a new mommy)and if it still bothers you a couple of years down the road, re-evaluate your situation and make the decision that's best for you!
if he doesn't care, then you shouldn't care during sex. Or start having sex in other positions where he can't see your belly. there's lots of ways to get around that...
however, you will feel better about yourself if you got that part of your body in shape, and thankfully, it's not that hard. I started doing ab and lower back exercises about 7 weeks post baby. I've been doing them for 3 years and not only did it make my baby stomach disappear, it also almost completely alleviated the back pain I struggled with for over 10 years.
Pilates is great, yoga is good. Pilates tends to focus more on the core than yoga...
I am the mother of a 1 year old and my stomach had always been flat and I thought it would never go back down, but it finally did. And like your husband mine said that it didn't bother him, but I know how important it is for you to like your body. Don't worry will get back to "normal." Also, Mary Kay has a great product that will get rid of any stretch marks you may have, if that is a problem. I know it was for me (big time). I used it and now I can barely even see them. If you have any questions about it, please visit my website at http://www.marykay.com/mjohnston1980
