Losing Recess

I had a friend who ended up with permanent kidney problems because her teacher would not allow her to use the restroom and she had to hold it for so long. I feel that depriving children of the opportunity to use the restroom or punishing them for having to go is cruel. If you know for a fact that this is a rule, having talked to the teacher, I'd go to the principal with my concerns. What are her reasonings behind the rule? Is it a school rule or just this teacher? If you talked to the teacher and got nowhere, time to go above their head.

This is a terrible punishment for a first grader-losing recess when they need to use the restroom during class time. Since you and the teacher don't agree, I would go to the principal and discuss this issue. I would also contact the PTA leadership and ask them for their support in getting the teacher's behavior modified.

Well, I do know classes where teachers might -- only for the most serious offenses -- withhold recess as a form of discipline, and it's effective because recess is highly, highly desirable. But this is among older elementary kids, not first graders.

And it would never be used as punishment for needing to use the toilet during class time. Ever. The teacher here is assuming she knows best about another person's bodily functions. A child could have a UTI and need to urinate more often; certainly more kids will GET infections if they feel they must hold their urine when they really need to go.

You said you previously spoke to the teacher "about how we disagree about this rule." Is this solely HER rule, for her own classroom, or do other teachers or even the entire staff do this? If it's only her: I'd try one more talk with her and say you are concerned about UTIs. (If your concern is general, frankly, it will have less weight with her than if your own child actually has specific issues and needs to pee when he or she needs to pee.) If she is still unreceptive, I would then go over her head and talk with maybe the counselor and school nurse at the same time - and if they seem not to want to be involved, then it's principal time.Dashing straight to the principal for this isn't necessarily the way to go, but I'd use the principal as a last resort if you feel very strongly about it.

If this is a policy used by other teachers -- the entire school needs a serious reality check and should stop doing this. Not losing recess -- I think that that can actually be effective as discipline. But the school (if it's an all-school policy) should absolutely not discipline a child for going to the toilet unless the teacher has very convincing reason to believe the child is just messing around and getting out of class.

She should be happy they ask to use the restroom...the alternative is a big mess to clean up!

Yep, time to go over her head. Lots of first graders still have accidents...we train our kids to ask to go, and here they're getting punished. Granted, some kids just want to get away from the boredom and use this as an excuse, but I don't think they should be denied

You talk to the teacher to ascertain it's true. Since it is you then...
Talk to the principal. Still not happy you then...
Talk to the school district superintendent.

Not fair, but unfortunately I doubt it's illegal. My nephew's school sits out students at recess for infractions like tardiness, not having an assignment done, etc., and they start in first grade. We don't have to agree with the rules, just make sure our children abide by them.

in 4th grade I had a teacher that did not let the kids use the restroom during class time. I had a series of bladder infections due to the issue and ended up missing several days of school. I ended up getting a dr. note and my parents spoke with the teacher or the principal. The result was that I could use the restroom as I pleased. I did not even have to ask. I could get up and leave. The teacher was allowed to monitor it and take note of how often I left and if it became excessive she was to contact my parents and not discipline me what so ever without consulting them. I never needed to go more than one time per day during class and I didn't even have to every day.

If you compare this to employment law its basically the same thing although you do need let someone know where you are going. But you are not required to use the restroom on your break time and break time only. If it becomes excessive then the employer can require a dr. note. At the end of the day it would be too much to allow each child a restroom break DURING class but at the same time if there are 200 kids at recess and 2 restrooms with say 8 stalls there is not enough recess to have ALL the kids go during that time. Simple math says some kids have to go during recess and some during class. And that is not even considering when the urge hits.

I would talk with the teacher to hear her reasoning and discuss what alternatives might be available.

At our school, a child's consequence for bad behavior can NOT be to use recess....because kids need the down time to run off energy AND to be sure they get physical activity. Now, if they have a consequence in progress (like time out for example) and recess starts, their consequence can continue for whatever length of time it should. If they miss some or all of recess that is ok but taking recess away as the consequence is not.

In your situation, since you have already discussed this with the teacher, I would go to the next level...her team leader or associate principle. Explain your position and the situation. Assuming this is affecting your child (he's holding it in class so he doesn't have recess taken away or he's losing recess because he has to go during class time), would you be ok if he lost a few minutes of recess? Realizing that having kids interupt for bathroom breaks can be disruptive and if all the kids did it, it could be chaos...what are the alternatives you would offer to deter kids from waiting until class time to ask to go to the bathroom? A silent signal so the teacher could just nod and the child could go would help w/ the disruption but what deterent from asking when they don't have to go or incentive for going when they have to would you suggest? Having these suggestions in your arsenol when you meet with them may go a long way to help your cause because it won't just be passionate criticism but would be constructive.

We have a fifth grade teacher in our school who has been shaming kids who ask to go to the bathroom, even to a point where he posted the roster on the wall and made them write a check by their names every time they went to show who was "abusing" bathroom passes to get out of class. It had never occurred to him how embarrassing and inappropriate this was - 5th grade girls are starting to get their periods and some kids have crohns or IBS. My friend's daughter is in that class and she was really upset and my friend went to talk with the male teacher about it. Those issues had never even occurred to him and he took the sign down immediately. He still publicly humiliates them when they ask to go - he's done it so long I don't even think I he realizes he's doing it. It was so bad that two weeks ago one of the girls actually had an accident in class - 10 years old - all because this man gets so mad when they ask to go. So I believe you when you say it's happening, or see you're a troll who came up with a real problem, but this weekend has been awful with ignorant people trolling this board.

Start by actual talking with the teacher and expressing your concerns. Not only is it unfair to the kids but it also violates their privacy - everyone knows why they are sitting there. She may not have fully thought the problem through and maybe struggling to find a solution. Go with alternative solution in mind that you could suggest. Good luck.

I think that a teacher with this strong rule has given numerous opportunities for restroom usage and feels that the students who want more are being mischevious. Do not go to the prinicpal. Instead sit in on a class and see if indeed its the teacher's actions or the students' misactions.

Marda, you say you doubt its true---SO WHY would you tell her to go the principal??????????

This is not ok to do,you can't do this to a child a UTI can flare up so fast,they get older & hold it till the last minute then begin to have accidents.I would of contacted the principal the first occurrence,cruel punishment.If a child going to the bathroom several times a day just wanting to get out of class but I wouldn't punish them for it I would be calling the parents to let them know this s becoming a disturbance & if there is a medical issue then if not a consequence but making sure that there is no underlying medical issue.You need to take it a step further call the principal.

legal yes. right.. no..

some schools lock the bathrooms during parts of the day so kids cant get in and vandalize the bathrooms..

as adults we go to the bathroom whenever we feel like we have to. i don not know why children should not have the same right to go to bathroom when they need to.. I would hate to have my child sitting there needing to use the bathroom but not allowed to..

talk to the teacher.. if the teacher will not budge.. talke to the principal.. but teachers have a lot of rights to run the class however they want to..

legal?
i don't know. probably.
but it's pretty draconian. what 1st grader doesn't occasionally need to pee at less than ideal times?
you could go over her head, but if she's a great teacher i'd try pretty hard to work it out directly with her. are you sure you're getting complete information? 1st graders are often light on pertinent details, not because they're dishonest but because they're very young. and if the teacher is constantly being interrupted by bathroom requests, she does have to take some sort of action to make sure actual education can proceed.
i suggest further conversation, and if possible, volunteer in the classroom so you can see firsthand what's going on.
khairete
S.

Do not go to the principal. You obviously like and respect this teacher--don't lose her over this issue. Make sure that your child tries to go to the restroom at the appointed times and you do not have an issue. Let the other parents fight that one--steer clear. There is nothing like the wrath of a teacher who has been reported to a principal...

Yes you go to the principal. Recess is not to be used as punishment and this needs to stop. Or you can start giving the teacher the bill for your copays for the bladder infections.

These kinds of issues are why I am happy I homeschool ALL my kids now. Some teachers are great, but so many are just wacky or are forced to make rules in the name of keeping order in the classroom that end up being hurtful to some kids.
As parents, I believe we fall into the trap of allowing things to happen to our kids at school that are really inappropriate, just because we feel like we have no other choice, or have no voice. But if you enrolled your kid in something you were PAYING for, like an extracurricular class/activity, would you put up with some of the stuff you put up with in your child's school? No way!
Since it probably IS a public school and you are not paying directly for it, and may not have another choice, you HAVE to be the squeaky wheel and help set things right for your kid and other kids. Get other parents involved. Get the principal involved. Go sit in the classroom and monitor the teacher until they get your point that people are not going to just sit there and let them do wacky stuff like that. And if the teacher isn't responding positively, switch to another teacher or school.
Or do what I did, because I was sick of all the stuff that you have to deal with in public schools and just homeschool your kids if possible. So much nicer. Who would you rather have influencing your kids all day? Wacky teachers and other 6 year olds? Or a loving parent who knows them best and other families who are also doing the same for their kids? I'm not saying all teachers are wacky of course, but some really are nuts, and have so much influence on their students, which is a nightmare.