Talkative 1St Graders

Updated on August 22, 2015
R.H. asks from Longmont, CO
15 answers

I have twins (m/f) and they are in the same 1st-grade class. It is the 3rd day of class and I received a call from the principle stating that they are talking a lot in class. Last year I had the same issue with my daughter along with crying in class. I know that the principal isn't a fan of my children and she tried her hardest to have them moved to a different school, but alas here we are.

In spite of that I do want to know how to address behavioral issues with my children. I don't want to give the principal any ammunition to suspend my children. When the children are with me in church or out they are well behaved. Occasionally, I have to tell them not to touch in the store or to quiet down, but I thought that was normal behavior.

There are 34 children in the classroom and only 1st-grade class. My children sit on opposite sides of the classroom and are talking to other students and not each other.

How can I get them off on the right foot this year?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

So, after I received a call from the principal, I called their grandmother, who lives a less than a mile away and asked her to stop by the school to talk to the children. When their grandmother called me, she told me that the principal told her that there was no issue and that the children were doing fine in class. So, she didn't actually need to speak to the children. I'm still going to follow all the advice that I'm receiving and talk to my children. I am also planning on speaking with their teacher to figure out the best way to handle any situations that may come up in the future.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

There are many things a teacher can do in her classroom where her talkative students aren't able to talk to anyone else.

The teacher can point their desks toward their desk, they can point their desks toward the corners or other things.

This is a teacher issue.

I would tell the teacher that since I'm not in the classroom with them I have no idea how to address this. That talking in class when it's not time to do that, well, that teacher needs to handle it.

Plus, it's the beginning of the year, they haven't seen their other friends all summer. They're bonding and making friends and it's perfectly normal for them to want to talk to everyone around them.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Well, what does she expect with 34 kids in the same classroom? That's insane!!!

With 34 kids, the teacher needs to learn how to control her class, and she needs to do it yesterday. If she can't handle a couple of kids talking too much, this is going to be a very painful year for everyone!

Ok, first, do talk to your kids about the importance of respecting the teacher, following rules, paying attention, not being disruptive, etc. When the teacher asks them to be quiet, it's really important so that everyone can have a good day. We respect the rules of each place that we go to, and the classroom is a very important place to follow the rules.

So that's what you say to your kids. What you say to yourself is, "This is not my problem. The teacher needs to handle this, and I will support the teacher." The teacher needs to handle this, but you need to make sure the kids never see you waver of your support of the teacher and her decisions. It doesn't matter whether you agree with all of her decisions or not, the kids need to think you do!

Too much talking in class is very common. They will mature. If you keep reminding them, they will get better. It is ridiculous that the principal called you. Talking in class is very normal. The teacher and principal need to learn how to deal with this.

Did the principal mention suspending them? There are some first graders causing real problems in this world - physical violence, bringing a gun to school, etc. I'm just shocked that a couple of chatter boxes are really this much on her radar.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

There is most likely more to this story. But based on what you wrote here, I would throw it back on them.

"Well I'm sure you hire a qualified teacher who knows how to handle 5 or 6 year olds talking. I have faith she can handle it."

It bothers me that:
1. There are 34 kids in a first grade class
2. Your twins might not be treated as individuals.
3. Why is the principal already involved? This should be handled by the teacher.

edit: You mention you are concerned they will get suspended. I have never heard of children getting suspended for just talking. It is for things like hitting, threats, and being defiant to authority figures.

4 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Separate them.

Here's the honest truth: School administrators and principals don't have the time to single out certain people's kids. It's likely that your twins really ARE talking too much at school. When someone tells you repeatedly that your shoe is untied, you don't look at them with disbelief and insist that they have some sort of vendetta against you, you check your feet.

ETA: So there are 34 kids in the class, your kids are separated, and they're both talking to their friends too much. Sounds like the problem is that their extraverted social butterfly personalities need to be reined in. Help them to understand that there is a time and a place for everything by supporting their teachers. If the teacher tells them to stop talking, they need to stop talking or there will be consequences. They can chat at recess. Nip this in the bud by being firm and supporting their teachers now and you won't have to deal with it year after year.

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

34 kids is a huge class - yikes. What a challenge for classroom management by the teacher! Are all the classes this size?

I'm surprised that you would say the principal is not a fan of your kids - where did that come from? And I think it's outrageous to think a principal can suspend a couple of first graders for talking in class, or because a parent called in to discuss a problem! That wouldn't happen to 10th graders! Principals don't just boot kids out of school because of annoying behaviors - even if you had a vindictive principal, she would have to do a boatload of paperwork to suspend a child! Sometimes if we get a call, we think we have been singled out as the only parents of unruly kids. But elementary school teachers and principals and aides and cafeteria monitors and bus drivers are constantly reminding kids of the rules and routines, to focus on work, etc.

Honestly, you can talk to your kids, but really this falls on the teacher's skills at classroom management. With such a huge class, I would hope there is a classroom aide or paraprofessional to help out, even if its a para assigned to a special needs child.

I think talking is a normal thing, especially in the beginning of the year - they'll get into the swing of things soon as they get used to the routine and mature a little more. I don't see why you need to have the grandmother stop in - I actually think that is more disruptive for kids. They need to see the teacher as the authority figure, not keep looking over their shoulders to see if a relative is showing up.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Seems there is a lot more to this situation then the typical chattiness in class.

Why would the principal try to get your kids moved to another school? Why is she the one calling you on the 3rd day of school concerning a classroom situation? Why is there 34 kids in a first grade class? Why would the principal suspend a couple of first graders?

Maybe you could fill us in a bit and we could give you some solid advice. As your question is written, I feel like you're only telling part of the story.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Really? The principal called you on the 3rd day of school?
I would think that for a new class room of kids they'd have expected some unsettled and excited kids for at least the first week or two.
They are still learning to raise hands before speaking and how to work in groups and listen to the teacher.

Is the disruptive talking going on between them or are they talking it up with other students?
Has the teacher seated them on opposite side of the room?
Schools will often separate twins into different class rooms so they make their own set of friends and so you don't have one twin dominating the more timid twin.

Tell your kids they need to listen to the teacher and not pay too much attention to what other kids are doing (sometimes kids are distracted by what others are doing and then go along and mimic the class clown).

I find the class size a little hard to believe.
34 students in any elementary class is too many kids.
Does the teacher have any aids to help her handle them all?
What school do they go to?
The few elementary schools that Googled for your area come in with student to teacher ratios of about 18 or 19 students to one teacher.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

IMO, why is the principal talking to you about them talking in class? Shoudn't the teacher be discussing problems in his or her own classroom? If your child was bullying another child or really being disruptive, then that's something to have the administration call home about. I would have a meeting with the teacher and find out what is going on and if perhaps the issue is the child, lack of classroom management or too many kids per teacher. Do you think the principal is calling because she isn't a fan of your children and is trying to force you to move them? First graders are still just little kids. I've seen my DD's class and last year the teacher did have to do things like clap her hands in rhythm to get their attention, remind them to hush, etc. You need to know more about what this means and why it is considered so bad the OFFICE is calling.

I would certainly talk to my child about not speaking out of turn in class, but I'd want to know more.

Edit to add: 34 kids is a teacher resources/classroom management problem. I missed that or you didn't have that in the first post. I would be talking to the teacher. If your kids are not sitting near each other, but she has 34 kids to wrangle, and there are OTHER kids that they are talking to, how many of those kids' parents got calls, too?

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Rochester on

The principal may have told Grandma that because of privacy issues. As a teacher, I cannot discuss students with anyone except colleagues who also work or have worked with the child and the child's parents. If the parent wants other family members, caregivers, or medical staff to receive information there is paper work that has to be done. That can even include step parents.

Talk with the teacher about an action plan. Don't go in with the attitude that it is her fault or the principal's fault or that someone is out to get your kids. Go in with the attitude that you truly want to work with the teacher to solve the problem. You will get much more favorable results.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Are they in the same classroom? They should be in different classes, for starters.

Other than that, I have no advice. This should mostly be up to the teacher.

2 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Your tone is a little bit like you think this stems from the principal's dislike of your kids more than their behavior....and maybe so if the principal is calling you on day 3 for talking??!! How did that happen? Unless they were SUPER disruptive despite discipline from teacher so teacher called for reinforcements from principal? Are you sure you can't switch schools?

Unless they are totally nuts there, maybe your kids are behaving badly. In which case all you can do is try your best to remedy that. Talk to the teacher and let him/her know you are on the teacher's team and want to discipline your kids at home when they act poorly in class so you want to know it from her right away. Let your kids know you are serious and you'll be talking to teacher every day. Follow through with firm consequences at home.

If the behavior is real it needs to be stopped and that is what I would do. If you are working hard and your kids aren't particularly disruptive but are being picked on, I'm not sure what I would do. I think if you show intent to help, and they improve, it will calm the administration down. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R..

answers from San Antonio on

Is 34 children in a 1st grade class even legal in your state? It is not in Texas!!

Do they use a daily behavior log, class dojo computer behavior monitor, or some sort of way to monitor their behavior daily? If so, then you should know daily how they did and have a consequence at home if they are talking too much in class. If you don't have one, request the teacher keep a daily log to send home. That way you can be on them before you get a call from the principle.

The only reason the principle would call about one of my children is if they did something very serious, hitting, cussing, disrespect to the point is was disrupting learning and they had a discipline referral to the office. Then I would be going up to the school to deal with my child who was still in the office.

Hope you get this dealt with because I really feel for the teacher with 34 kids.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i hope you get some helpful advice. i can't get past the paranoia in thinking that a principal actually has it out for you and is looking for 'ammunition' to get rid of your children.
i hope you 'get them off on the right foot' by actually working with your kids on discipline and boundaries.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

In a lot of schools they separate twins into two different classes so they have time to shine on their own. Can you request that?

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I have triplets and they would talk a lot at the beginning of the schoole year at that age. It is the excitement of the change and seeing old friends/meeting new ones. If your kids are talking to each other a lot, ask the teacher to separate them. My kids were in the same class until 3rd grade when they transferred to public school. They never sat at the same table or in the same row of desks and this also allowed them to each learn at their own rather than comparing with each other or feeding off of each other.
I am surprised about a call on day 3, esp for this grade. For my 7 yr old, I did get notes about talking but not a call. I would continue to talk to my daughter about how to behave in class. When she would tell me "well she talked to me first", I finally got her to put her finger to her lips in a "shhh" gesture. When the teacher had to give constant reminders to certain students about disruptions, she separated them from the other person. This seemed to work. I would suggest meeting with the teacher for setting a plan of action.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions