Looking for Moms of "High Needs" Babies to Connect With

My middle one was/is definately a high needs baby. And I can't tell you how many people laughed when I'd say that. They'd say ALL babies are high needs, well no not like this.
I could never put him down as an infant. I learned to use the bathroom cradling him in one arm. He barely napped unless I was holding him, hated riding in the car, in the stroller, never used the baby swing, bouncy seat, bumbo etc. It was EXHAUSTING. He's now over two, and things have gotten much better. He finally will play by himself for awhile. But still if I go to the Bathroom, he follows me. Cook dinner he's standing by my legs. I wouldn't automatically assume your baby may have autism. He's just that personality. Read up on it. I believe another category for kids like this can be "tactile" children. Find different methods to try and calm your baby. He could also be colicky. Either way it's tough, seek out support. You need it!

My youngest son was like that. I found that if I "wore" him all the time, he calmed down and is now a happy almost-2-year-old (who still likes to be held a lot!). I also found that I needed to swaddle him tightly so he would be able to sleep on his own. I went to a fabric store and just bought a large length of flannel, cut it into HUGE swaddling blankets, and used those. (He outgrew the ones they sell in stores at about 4 months. He needed to be swaddled until he was about a year old.) Those really helped me.

Also, he never took a pacifier and wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME! I found that he was bored a lot, so if I took him out, introduced him to new textures of things, or had him "help" me do things (I would talk to him as I "wore" him in a sling and made lunch, washed clothes, swept the floor, etc), then he needed less comforting in other ways.

My oldest was 22 months when my youngest was born, and I am almost positive that he has signs of autism. He will be tested very soon so we can know for sure, so I understand how trying it can be! Good luck!

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Ok your little one sounds exactly like my baby he is just 9 mo old and I delt with the same situation till he was about 6 or 7 months and he started getting much better..He is still in high demand but he is sleeping way better to the point of where I can finally lay him down and he actually stays asleep most of the time...My baby is in no way autisic so dont worry yet he may just be high maintanence

My son slept well (IMHO, having dealt with babies with colic and chronic ear infections who had to be held to sleep), but was NOT an independent baby, nor toddler, nor child. At 8yo he is only JUST NOW able to "go play" for 15-30 minutes on his own. He is the most social child I have ever come across. He really NEEDS to be around people in order to be truly happy. Oy. And has always been into everything.

He's also adhd & gifted. (those 2 go together nearly always... meaning if you've got an adhd kid, they're also probably gifted to profoundly gifted... not the reverse, most gifted kids aren't adhd'ers or aspies, but most adhd'ers and aspies are gifted).

I've known hundreds of others of "high needs" infants (either not independent, or not "quiet time" players, or colicky, or prone to ear or sinus infections, or reflux, or immature digestive systems... as opposed to high needs like drug addicted or severe medical condition high needs, like seizures... which are SUPER high needs)... and the vast majority of them were just normal, healthy kids. A couple who later on turned out to be autistic, or adhd, or dyslexic, or any other developmental problem or disorder... but only a handful. Some babies are just easy, and some aren't.

Honestly... the fussing as soon as laid down (even as much as reclined in a car seat or stroller) makes me think chronic ear infections. Chronic *sinus* infections and reflux babies are fine at an incline, just not flat. So I'd get your doc to specifically check out his ears.