Looking for Guidance from Other Single Mom's

hi M.,
being in couseling is the best thing you could do for yourself and baby right now. i am so proud of you and don't even know you. you are not alone, even though you feel alone. i know it sucks right now not having the baby's father around to help you but it is his loss not yours. what a great joy he is going to miss out on but keep in mind you are carrying a beautiful life inside you and it is terrifying being alone and pregnant epecially with your first child. we moms are here for you to listen and offer you advice. that is the beauty of this site. once your child is born you will be overwhelmed with so much emotion that he/she is finally here and what a beautiful life you brought into the world. you will be overcome with so much love for your child and embrace it because time flies after the baby comes, they grow up so fast. i know becuase i have an 11yr old and 11 month old. they are the love of my life. i couldn't imagine life without them. do you have any family to help you out? believe me time heals all wounds. you just need to focus on taking care of yourself and this baby. you will need your strength and sanity for your baby. i am here for you if ou would like to talk anytime day or night. my name is kelly and i live in norwood mass have 2 boys work in pediatrice one night a week as a medical assistant. stay strong you have come so far. good luck and my e-mail is ____@____.com care sweetie

Hi M.,

I have not had depression, but wanted to let you know that even though your child's father left, you can still make it. Of course it will be hard at times but you have to do what is best for you and your child. You don't need a man to survive. Once you have cleared out your mind of these dark thoughts, you will meet other great people thru your child and who knows?? Maybe you will meet a single dad someday. You will be fine and keep up the good work in counseling. Already that is the best thing you are doing for you and your child.

M.,
Have you discussed these thoughts and feelings with the person counseling you? If not, you should. If you have, then the person counseling should have told you that these thoughts and feelings are natural for you to be experiencing, with everything you've gone through - and are currently going through. Depression during pregnancy is a real b*tch - I've been there myself - and its not pretty. Just keep up with the counseling. If there remains a need for medication down the road, then you and your counseling professional will discuss it. Please don't keep questioning whether or not you and your baby will be alone forever - it will drive you nuts. When that baby is born, you'll know that giving your baby life (and giving him/her a life) will be wonderful for you. As for the father, well, its his loss. My daughter hasn't seen (or had any contact w/) her father since she was 6 years old. My attitude about it is that its his loss. Sure, there are times where I think about everything he's missed out on (and continues to miss out on) but you know what? My daughter's a better person for it: he's not a positive influence. You'll be okay, M., you really will be. It will just take some time.

Try not to think of it as being on your own forever. I'm sure your friends and family will help you out. I have a friend who's husband left her for another woman when my friend was 3 months pregnant with her second child. She did it with some help of friends and family, but you just have to try and stay strong. My personal advice, you can accept it if you would like to, is asking for God's help. He won't give you anything you can't handle. Maybe find a church if you don't already belong to one. If you would like to talk to me more about this, my e-mail address is ____@____.com.

Hey M.-
Keep your chin up and lean on those close to you and who love you for support... I think counseling is a HUGE help and can be a good outlet for the emotions that you are going through on a daily basis. Pregnancy itself is a roller coaster and to be doing it without the support of your S/O/hubby/partner or whomever must be so difficult.
I can identify with those thoughts of wondering if "will I always be alone?" Right now I have an 8 month old little boy- the light of my life. Just a month ago, I found out my husband has been having an affair since at least january; he had emotionally vacated the relationship, but didn't have the guts to tell me that and ended up using the weekend trip [over mother's day no less] that he had planned as a way to take this woman away with him and go to the same special places we fell in love, had romantic dates, etc. Anyway- I kicked him out a month ago and now I am on my "own" but would have never been able to feel "okay" 50% of the time without the love of my family and friends...Sorry to bombard you with my own personal crisis, I only share to help you realize that you are NOT alone, that YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH this time...
Always post back here if you need more advice/support,etc.

I have not gone through what you are going through but I just wanted to give you some words of inspiration. I am sure you'll find a great guy who will love you and your child as if the child is his own. Hang in there!!

I am so sorry for your pain. Please know that you will not be alone forever. One of my friends was a single parent for 3 years and is now getting married this winter. It's scary, but this baby will become the love of your life. If you're really experiencing dark thoughts, PLEASE tell a family member or a close friend. Maybe they/someone can stay with you for a few weeks after the baby is born.