Looking for Book Ideas

Hi,
I highly recommend, "How to talk so Teens will listen and listen so Teens will talk" by Adele Faber.

Good luck!

For Parents Only is a great book that gives you insight into the mind of a pre teen and teenager. The authors interviewed teens so the whole book is from their point of view. I loved it! It is an easy read and a lot of fun. It also has a campanion work book. I can't find it right now or else I would give you the authors. It is written by the ladies who did For Women Only and For Men Only if that helps. lol

I would have to go along with others who have recommended Reviving Ophelia. I think it was the most helpful of anything I have read to remind me of how it felt to be a teenaged girl. Also, there is a compilation of first person stories from teenage girls called "Ophelia Speaks" that is useful as well.

Get Out of My Life was fine and I also read Queen Bees & Wannabes. I also am a fan of the Positive Discipline books and she has one for teenagers, although it's not clear if you need discipline advice or just general info. My daughter is going to be 18 in a couple of months and I know on the one hand my journey of parenting her daily is drawing to an end but at the same time I feel like we just started!!

Dear M.,
I have never responeded to anyone on this site but your letter resonated with me. I have two of the most wonderful adult daughters whom I enjoy very much spending time with. They are both teachers. I NEVER would have believed that they were going to turn into such wondeful adults when they were teenagers.

I wish I had done one thing very differently. My girls both went thru hard times and I wish I had just had more faith. Simply more faith that they would come thru these difficult teens years OK. I wish I had just loved them, reassured them that I would love them unconditionally and had not worried as much as I did. People would say "Don't take it personally" when they were so resistant to any suggestions of mine and seemd to argue about everything and 'hate' everything for a while there.
Now they are absolutely so wonderful - generous and genuinely pleasant to be around that it is hard to remember those times. I do remember that it is almost impossible to 'not take it personally' at the time.
So.......... hang in there & love them & have faith in your parenting. P. (mother of Amariah 30 & Jill 25)

"Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall" has been around for awhile. You could check it out.
I'm interested in the response here.
Good luck.
-C.

Hi M.,
I don't have any specific titles for you, but I would encourage you to browse through the teenage parenting section of your local Christian bookstore. Even if you are not into any type of religion, there are lots of good books there that are helpful in giving a little insight into the teenage mind. I don't have teenagers myself, but my best friend has a 16 year old girl and she teaches young teens at our church. She has found the Christian bookstore to be an invaluable resource. Most of us mothers have forgotten what it's like to be a teen, and didn't understand it when we were there anyway! I applaud you for looking and asking for help and direction. Most of us can't do it alone. I know I'll be begging for help soon!

I thought that "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls" by Mary Pipher was fascinating and helpful. Good luck!

There is a series called Your Child at 5, Your Child at 6, etc. I know they go up to age 10 since I have it and need to read it. If they have it for your age I highly recommend it. Quick to read and I had many "a-ha" moments reading the younger child books. I'm almost there - my oldest it 10. Good-luck! Michele

I strongly suggest: "Growing Strong Daughters" by Lisa Graham McMinn, and "Mother-Daughter Wisdom" by Christiane Northrup,M.D., and "Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls" by Mary Pipher. I have two daughers, ages 14 and almost 11. So, I, like you, am just entering the thick of the parenting-teenage-girls-phase. I also am thrilled at this opportunity and I think it is one of the most exciting things I could be doing with my life. I know that it will be hard work, but with my Faith gathered around myself, I am forging ahead with all of the tools, resources, and human as well as God-support that I can access. No matter what we take on in life and want to do WELL, we are to be focused on the task and constantly uplifted by our Faith and our friends and family. That is what I am being guided to do. I wish you the best on your own journey. Merry Christmas to you and yours, K. t

Dear M.,

Raising Ophelia, lent the book out so can't give you the author, but she is a pyschologist. It is for trouble girl teens but I liked the solutions, figured if I did what they suggested BEFORE it got to be problemsome - you know head it off at the pass. But very helpful!! Lent it to hubby's best friend (single father) whose daughter was cutting and he said he was VERY helpful, there is how to help w/ attitudes and how to connect w/ families, etc. Thin book, she wrote sequel. I don't respond to the website - once in a blue moon - but this books rocks!! So many books on teen boys, so little on teen girls. Hope this helps.

R.

Hi, Happy Holidays to You and Yours!! A friend of mine recently suggested a book for me regarding raising special children ( of all sorts), and she also so kindly loaned it to me. The Book is ..A Mind At A Time, by Mel Levine , MD. She states this book has many novel approaches. Honestly I have not found time yet to get into to it, but from my friend to you it's Great.Have Fun Loving Your Kids !! any which way ,,lol!!Some advice I've heard over and over again "You can NEVER spoil your kids with too much Love" I agree!!!

I thought "Reviving Ophelia" was a pretty wonderful book. And I just looked it up on Amazon.com to make sure I had the title right and a list of similarly minded books (i.e.- girls and adolescence) came up so maybe that can give you a few more ideas. Good luck!

Hi M.,
Reviving Ophilia (forgot the author, might have mispelled the name) is a very well known book I read in psyc while in high school. It was a compalation of stories of different teenage girls with different family situations and struggles. It really opened my eyes to how impressionable and how emotionally fragile we are during those years. It covers sex, eating disorders/self image, self destructive behavior and self esteem. It was pretty amazing, sometimes a bit tragic but it really stuck in my mind as a book I wish my mother had read and if I ever have a daughter I will definately have handy for when the teenage years come about.
Happy hoildays!
B.

Hi! Another great read is "Prude" by Carol Platt Liebau (I had a hard time getting through the first half of the book because I found it so alarming, but the second half would make good shared reading with a teen to allow for dialogue. Also, "Epidemic: How Teen Sex is Killing our Kids" by Meg Meeker, M.D. is appropriate for both parents and teens. Great insight and information in both books. I can second the votes for "Queen Bees and Wannabes" - however, I think the author is a little jaded in her assessment of teenagers - not all of them fall neatly into the categories she has created. She doesn't acknowledge that there ARE kids out there with a strong faith base who hold a different set of values than the teens she describes. My teenage daughter sat bug-eyed at some of the comments, as did my teenage son...he was especially insulted at her generalization of the motives of teenage boys when it comes to girls.

For the serious side of reading, I found anything by Dr. James Dobson to be helpful. I had heard a lot of child rearing information that just wasn't making sense to me, but somehow he was able to say the same things in a way that I understood how do put them into practice. The books I read by him were written years ago... over thirty I know. But, he has been putting out some newer stuff I haven't read yet, that I'm guessing would be just as good, probably better because he would be dealing with the specific needs of today's kids.

Another author with a similar name also put out a good book years ago. His name is Fitzhugh Dodson. Sorry I don't recall the name of his book, but if I find it I will write again.

This is focused more on the teenage girl's body, but I thought it was great:

Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a gURL (Paperback)
by Esther Drill (Author), H. Mcdonald (Author), Rebecca Odes (Author)

My daughter is only 15 months old... I'm worried about the teen years already! :)

Good luck,

H.

Dr. Kevin Lehman (sp?) has books on all ages of kids. He is a big proponent of reality discipline. I have heard him talk about teenagers and really liked what he had to say. He has five kids himself!

Reviving Ophelia, by Mary Pipher is very good, but depressing. I really liked Ophelia Speaks, by Sara Shandler, which is essays compiled by a a college student. It has a more positive outlook, while giving insight into what it's like to be a teen. How to Talk So Teens Will Listen--and Listen so Teens Will Talkm by Adele Faber is a great resource in learning how to connect with your teen. Can out of my life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the Mall? by Anthony E. Wolf is also helpful. These are all available through the county library system.
And believe in her, love her, take the long view, choose your battles, and try to find friends who are also raising teenage girls and can commiserate with you!
Good luck.
L.