Cornerstone Counseling Center in North Richland Hills offers "marriage" or "relationship" counseling. Since they are a Christian based organization, I'm assuming they probably have at least one or two therapists who offer services on a sliding scale. It certainly won't hurt to call and ask. Their phone number is ###-###-####. Even if they can't offer reduced rates that meet your needs, maybe they have a source they can recommend.
My husband and I went to marriage counseling early in our marriage 15 years ago, but I used Gloria Shami, who was in either Euless or Bedford at the time. I really liked her and she did help mine and my husband's communication issues, as is evident having been married 15 1/2 years now. :-) I don't know if she offers reduced rates, but again, worth calling and asking.
On the advice front, it does sound like you and your boyfriend could definitely use some communication coaching. I had a very similar dynamic with my husband early on in our relationship. Our first Christmas after we moved in together, I had NOTHING under the tree so I wrapped up some new windshield wipers and some chip clips and put those under the tree for me. Now, mind you, I didn't do it to make my husband feel guilty at the time. I was just wrapping stuff up, saw that I had nothing under the tree, and just wrapped them up so I'd have something to open on Christmas morning. When my husband saw me open those up, he felt so bad that he hadn't gotten anything for me, that he's NEVER let that happen again. We still, 16 years later, joke about chip clips because of that.
Also, I would always make sure he had something nice that he wanted on his special days and he started noticing that he wasn't doing the same for me. It's pretty evident when he gets a nice bouquet of flowers delivered to his work on Valentine's or a surprise dinner out with his friends on his birthday, and I get nothing. I might mention that I was disappointed that I didn't get anything from him on whatever day, but I never tried to be passive agressive about it or tried to MAKE him feel guilty. I'm more a straight forward kind of communicator. I'm not a good manipulator. And I'm not the type to withhold something just 'cause I'm not getting what I want in return. Eventually, I was the one getting beautiful roses sent to work on Valentine's day (without asking for them) and nice things for my birthday, mother's day, etc.
For me, it was never about the things. It was about the lack of thought when he didn't even bother to make an effort, which I'm sure is what you're feeling. Nowadays, we joke when we go to the store around Valentines and we see all the fresh cut flowers, and he'll say, "look at all these lovely flowers I picked for you", and I'll say, "oh, I love them, thanks so much for thinking of me, maybe we should take a picture so they'll last longer", and then we laugh about it, cause I don't want him to spend any of our money on fresh cut flowers anymore. It's just not in the budget now if you know what I mean. :-)
Anyway, when you're communicating with him, I recommend you make it to the point. "I'm very disappointed that you didn't make the effort to get me a birthday gift." Don't add anything about what he's gotten for himself or that he's done it in the past, etc. If you don't give him anything else to "focus" on except the real issue at hand, the thing that you most want him to answer for, he can't pull something else out of what you said that he can make an excuse with. If he comes back with "I didn't have any money" or "I didn't have time to get you anything", then you can remind him about the gifts he got for himself, but you don't make that your primary focus. I don't think you really care that he got himself something. It seems more like you care that he didn't get you anything. If you combine the two right off the bat, he can twist it around to make it about you not wanting him to have anything, when all you really care about is him not making the effort to do something for you.
Of course, some men just don't get it. And if your man is one of those men, you have to choose to live with it or move on. You can't change someone else, only yourself. If my husband wanted to, he could have just ignored my feelings and never made an effort to make me feel special, but he's not that kind of guy. If your guy wants to change and wants to make you feel special, letting him know how you feel should be enough. If he doesn't care about those things, you need to be prepared to let it go or let him go. Otherwise you'll spend your life trying to make him make you feel special and that's a losing battle my friend.
Good luck! I hope you can get some help with your communication issues soon!
Blessings,
N.
