Hey D.... I'm K. from West Haven, and I'm sort of in the same boat as you on this one. I have two teenage boys who chose to live with Dad, 1/2 hour away, because of course he's more fun and has no rules so it's a fee-for-all over there, over which I have little say or control. It's horrible trying to be involved in their lives, trying to help, when they're at THIS age. My boys are just now 18 and 17, and things are getting better ONLY NOW. But the last 3 or 4 years were hell for me. It's that age, plain and simple. YOu can't change your ex, he's going to continue to not encourage your relationship (can't tach an old dog new tricks, as they say) all you CAN do is be available to spend time with them as much as you can, and always call them and show an interest in their lives and well being. As they mature, they'll see you for who you are and for the mother you are to them, while they'll little by little see the father for who he is as well. And they WILL see this, believe me. But not at 15 years old. At 15 they're too into themselves to see the big picture. On the flip side, though it gets their attention, try not to spoil them when you do have them any more than you would if they lived with you. This isn't a contest (though it seems at times it is!) that you have to shell out money to win. My ex is now remarried and tries to get them on holidays, when we used to all holiday together even though we were divorced. Suddenly I get half-holidays, etc. And it stinks. But lately? The boys have told Dad they want to spend holidays with me, get back into our traditions, see their baby sister, etc. I fought to get custody back and lost SOLELY because the boys, at that age, SAID they wanted to stay with Dad and would "not listen to mom if she makes us live with her". Though boys lawyer agreed I'm the more fit parent, he let them stay there since they threatened this: so he gave them their way basically (how mad was I???). It will take time, but they will come around, and things will definitely get better. Like I said, just ALWAYS call him, ask him about his day, about school, offer encouragement and support, and wait it out, that's the best thing you can do. I don't know everything of course I only know what I've lived through.... you can't get a 15 year old to budge when he's at that "into himself" stage, no matter what you do, so don't beat yourself up over it! I hope that helped some? :) Good luck!