I'm in need of a christian marriage counselor in the New Haven county. Married 8 soon to be 9 years and we are on the brink of separation/or divorce. Would appreciate the help. Well where do I begin. I had found an email message in my husbands email (it was open) regarding a delivery of flowers (guess when...Valentines Day). Thinking they were for me I noticed that the deliver hadn't come in about an our. Well now I'm intrigued as to where this delivery could be going and to whom. Well I found out there was a confirmation sent to the email with whom the delivery and what was sent with the address. So I looked into the cell phone account that we have (remember WE have) and I looked through the phone log to see who would call around the time that the deliver was made (I'm sure just to say thank you). Well then my husband comes home with a sorry edible arrangement for me and expected me to be so joyful about the jesture. Well needless to say I wasn't. So I approached him later on in the week about being involved with someone and his response was "Well if I am...then it is your fault" because I don't spend enough time with him and I don't do the things he wants in the bedroom (not to mention that I can have the very same response all the way around, but he thinks that everything he says and does is right and the law according to him. The house (of which he rarely spends time, because of his work schedule is so crazy (so he tries to let on)). To make things more interesting, I got a hold of his cell phone (that he keeps close to the hip) and found some text messages from a woman (he calles a FRIEND). I just recently found a plane reservation for a trip to Vegas (for his league that he's in) and it had two passengers. Well you know the second name wasn't mine, so I confronted him on that and all of a sudden the reservation was cancelled and he was willing to set up a reservation for me (after I blasted him for expecting me to make all the arrangements for child care for our two children) and he had made the semi arrangement for our children. I go on the trip and I once again get a hold of the cell phone to find that he had been texting this individual the entire time more than once in the day (I guess during bathroom brakes, etc). I didn't say anything until a few days ago when I asked why the other individual's reservation was cancelled. His response was "I don't know" so I confronted him and asked him if you knew the person (knowing full well he did) and that they must be more than friends if he invited and paid for a ticket to go to on the trip with him. His response "No, I'm reading more into than there is (yeah right!!) And again he come with the blame game song; so I told him that I find it hard to be intimate and react the way he wants me to be when he's emotionally attached to someone else. And again, "well, it's your fault" and I responded that I didn't put a gun to your head nor did I MAKE you go outside of our marriage to seek counsel with someone else. Well to say the least he got upset and didn't want to talk (let me just say that the conversation was civil, no fighting). I eventually got a call saying that "we need to go to counselling". It was a thought of mine and I was going to suggest it to him and I know that I would have gotten some resistence, but since he make the move, I guess it is the right thing to do. (according to him). He say's that I'm to find the place for therapy and he's going to tell the TRUTH (which to him means the TRUTH and that my side is a fairy tale (as he says, mine opinion). I'm not sure if this is going to work. I hope that it will.
Hi K.:
sounds like your instincts are right on. And whatever he's doing, it's NOT your fault. It's worth it to go and talk it out though. Good luck and please stay in touch!!
-S.
Dear K.,
Hello there, this type of relationship problem is going on all over. However, I strongly suggest that you contact your local pastor or priest for suggestions. They will know or find someone for you. That is the purpose of the local church. I will pray for the two of you and may God heal all wounds and may your marriage become better than ever.
G.
If you are active in your church go to your pastor and tell him you need a christian marriage counselor. Your pastor may do counseling to but if you or hubby does not feel comfortable with him simply be honest. You do NOT have to tell the pastor everything only that counseling is needed. He will probably be able to give you a name or two of a local counselor. Our church does not have a pastor right now but when we did my husband and I went to him for counseling. That is all up to you and hubby if you want to go there. Sometimes it was hard talking to a person who was my pastor but I also taught his daughter in school. At times it felt too personal but it worked out good because he knew where we stood in our beliefs. If your husband does not go to the church he may feel "set up" by the pastor and you if you go to him. He may think you have talked to the pastor already and that he won't get a "fair shake"! Couples conseling is a great start but you may need some personal counseling too to deal with the feelings you are and will deal with. Hang in there and pray often. God is in control so keep looking to God for your strenght. A.
Hello K.,
I was also looking for a Christian counselor so I contacted my favorite Christian Author/Psychologists Dr. Cloud and Townsend. Following please find their answer with some numbers they told me to call. God bless you and remember to pray for your husband. Only God can change a man! Keep the faith and God will take care of the rest!
God bless,
O.
Dear Friend,
Thank you for your recent inquiry! Due to the large volume of requests we receive, Drs. Cloud and Townsend are unable to personally respond to each email, however, we hope the information provided here will be helpful. We have listed several options below that may assist you in finding a solution to your specific question or concern.
· We suggest that you contact your local church for a referral to a Christian counselor
· Other referral sources:
1. Focus On The Family Referral Network 800-232-6459
2. New Life Clinics, a national Christian counseling organization at 800- ###-###-####
3. American Association of Christian Counselors www.aacc.net (internet access only)
· If you are unsure how to select a therapist we would suggest a tape by Dr. Townsend “What is Good Christian Therapy”, this tape may help you make a more informed choice about a therapist. Please visit us online at www.cloudtownsend.com or if you do not have regular access to the Internet feel free to call and request this information. (800) 676-4673
· You may wish to review our book and tape list for topics that may address your particular area of concern. Our material has been the source of hope and healing for countless individuals through the years. Feel free to call us and discuss the resources available. We have qualified staff that will be able to suggest a specific book or topic.
· Lastly, we recommend finding a small group and getting connected. We believe that a small group can be a wonderful place to begin processing the issues that cause us difficulty in life.
Hopefully, your church or one of the referral sources above can direct you to a counselor or small group. We encourage you to utilize all the resources available through your church, small group or the community to help you with your situation. The staff at Cloud-Townsend Resources would like to encourage you on your continued spiritual growth and healing.
May God bless you,
Cloudtownsend.com Customer Service
Dear K., I read your post and I am sorry for your troubled marriage. I will pray for you. I live in Brooklyn and went to Catholic charities for my counselling. I guess you do not want to ask anyone in your church or your pastor. I am sure you will get some helpful responses. The moms on this site are great and very caring. Grandma Mary
Call 1-800 A FAMILY it is Focus on the Family and they can recommend someone for you. May God direct you to be well in His love and in your marriage.
K.,
I'm very sorry for what you are going through. It's wonderful that you are seeking help, whether it is for both of you or one of you it will help. There is a Christian Counseling Center on the shoreline, it's either Guilford or Branford and there is the Franciscan Life Center in Meriden. Hope this helps.
Hi K.,
I'm sorry I can not help you on your seeking for a marriage counselor, However I just learned that "autism" problems especially in young children can be reversed with diet. If you are interested go to Gary Null's website (http://www.garynull.com)and check out his new info. He has been working on a documentary for many years and the children in the film-are now free of autism and the same ones that you would hardly recognize. I saw Gary at Valley Stream school at a Wellness fair and I was so impressed. He can help your child with that. Personally, emotional issues like this marriage thing here has a very negative effect on your children. Maybe this helping your autistic child together can help your marriage and focus on something other than yourselves. (Might help your husband more-I know women usually do their best in keeping it together the longest. Infidelity is not acceptable in my book, but people do make mistakes.
Good luck and please for your children's sake check out diet with Gary's program. He is the best and this film will be airing in June and up for all kinds of awards. This is huge news in the world about this disease! It is a new disease from our processed and chemical foods that is all around us. You know people act better and feel better when they educate themselves and start to understand..we are what we eat and food can help our balance so our lives are balanced in all areas even relationships!
Good luck to you on all fronts here. God Bless!
Love & Light,
M.
Hi K.. My heart broke for you reading this. I'm sorry you are going through this right now. It is a really good sign that your husband is asking to see a counselor...men are usually the last ones to suggest something like this. I don't know your area at all, but your response from Olga had some good leads on it. I personally would try to find someone through Focus on the Family. They have a great reputation, I've read a lot of their books and listened to their radio program for years.
I really hope and pray that you guys can get this worked out. You must be going through so much at the moment. Just want to let you know that we all do care and I will be praying for you today, that God would give you strength to face this situation.
Hugs.
I'm sorry I do not know one, but I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong.
Hi K.,
I'm sorry for all you are going through! I'm not sure how close this is to you but I know of a Christian marriage counselor in Wilton, CT. His name is John Halbrook. I only have the number for his NYC office but you can call him there and schedule an appt. in his CT office. His number is ###-###-####. I would call him no matter what as he may be able to suggest someone closer to you.
Take care,
S.
K.,
Settle only for a counselor that is going to be impartial. Nothing else.
I don't have a name for you, I'm sorry. I wish you the best and hope your whole family comes through this communicating better than ever.
Good luck,
M.
