I really need some advise here ladies. I just don't know what to do.
My grandparents have been on a cross country (they are from VA) vacation and have been for a couple of months. A month ago they showed up at our house to visit. (My husbands first time meeting them) They never said how long they were going to stay, well they stayed 2 weeks(My husband felt that was a little long). Left went to CA for 2 weeks and now have came back to our house.
(My husband and I are planning our wedding reception that will be on my bday 9-10-11. My grandparents really want to be here for this also. )
Well now here is the problem. They again have not said or even asked either me or my husband if we mind them staying for an X amount of time. I really do not have a problem with them staying as they are my grandparents and I cherish all the time I still have left with them.
Now my husband on the other is furious and finds it disrespectful that they have not bothered to ask either one of us or both of us together. My husbands fear is they will be staying till well after the wedding reception.
What in the world am I to do?? I don't want a family feud!. And I surely do not want to hurt their feelings.
My husband is from a family of 4 he is not used to a large family and I have alot of them.
Please someone give me some advise.. I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings and I most definitely do not want to argue with my husband.
Has anyone been through this?
What would you do in my situation?
Thank you in advance!
Oh JO!! I would love to do that, however hes lost 3 friends in the last two weeks to drinking. He's not even drinking right now.
All you have to do: is ASK them WHAT THEIR PLANS ARE... because you/Husband have to PLAN AHEAD. You all have your own schedules too and obligations.
You simply, ASK them.
AHEAD of time.
Tell them you need a clear and defined, answer.
AND you clearly, lay out and tell them, how long they can stay, according to you and Hubby.
It is your home, you decide how long they can stay.
You Husband needs to look at these people like they are his grandparents. would he tell his family they were not welcome? I would just come right out and ask them how long they plan to stay so you know, but your husband needs to relax a little IMO.
Have they mentioned plane tickets in September? Then I'd guess they plan to hang out in the area until September's event.
Maybe ask them where they are off to next, in a hinting way?
Really though, if it were me, I would figure out what I am willing to do before I bring it up with them. If my husband and I would not be willing to let them stay for A MONTH MORE, then I would want to know that before asking what their plans are...so that I didn't accidentally invite them to stay that long (or give THEM the impression that I was inviting them). Perhaps a joking comment along the lines of: "Well since I know you don't want to hang out HERE for the next month, what are your plans next?"....
First go buy your husband a nice hip flask, then fill it.
After you have done that come back here and I will give you your next instructions. :p
Okay now that I am home, just ask your husband what he would like you to do. It isn't your fault, they are family, you can't control them. Yes they should have asked, you know it, he knows it, but they didn't. It is in the past so ask him what he wants you to do. He will tell you there is nothing that can be done now, then you say exactly.
Make sure at some point you sit down and nicely explain you need to know when you are having house guests. :)
And the hip flask won't hurt either.
Oh lord, sorry about your husbands friends. :(
Did they drive/fly in and are sleeping in your house? Or did they drive up with a motorhome or other RV? If they are staying in your home, you might give them a list of hotels and ask them which one they would feel comfortable in since you need some space to start planning things for the reception. If you have kids, maybe they are needing some space and time with just M. and dad and you can use the kids as the excuse to need your home back. If they are in an RV, find the list of nearby campgrounds and RV parks and do the same. Tell them youll need the space for parking. Tough spot to be in for sure.
Why not plan out the dates of the visit? Did no one ask them what their plan was or they just left when they felt like it? Never in a million years would I do that to a person or someone do that to me. I find it very odd. I would be frustrated too if people came and I had no idea on when they plan on leaving/ It's not that hard to plan out a visit with people. Get out your calendar and mark the vacation date. I think your husbands issue isn't so much he doesn't want these people around, but that he doesn't want to entertain people for who knows how long or whenever they feel like randomly showing up... it's odd. Just ask them what their plans are and tell them what dates are good for you guys and work on the dates together to come to a family compromise.
