Lonely - Derry, NH

hi, my daughter will be 2 in Jan. her father and i ......didn't work out. living alone can be sooooo lonely. we used to live in Londonderry, but just moved to Derry. my whole family lives in Mass. i'm 23 and would love to talk to you, maybe set up a play date?

I had read your post, and I was thinking about you as I made my dinner. I have not been in your situation. But all I can say is, make sure you keep yourself busy. Get out and be with people, both you and your daughter. Keep active and see other people, friends, and family. Try to focus on the good in your life, and your little daughter too. Best of Luck to you!

no one likes being alone, especially when u have kids. Just remember it IS ok to be alone! Its great to have all that time for you and your kids, the free weekends to go out with girlfriends etc. And when the RIGHT guy comes along its worth the wait! When I split from my oldest daughters father, I was so lonely that I settled for a loser and I ended up fighting for my life in the end, it's just not worth it to let that lonliness take over. It will get better as every day goes by. Just concentrate on being a mom and work and the rest of your friends and family, you'll see that your not alone at all.

Only you can make that decision wheather or not to go back.I only have to say if you two where fighting all the time in front of the child I would not recommend getting back together.I have done that before for the convince and in the long run it does bother the kids to hear their parents fighting.Try going on dates meeting new people Goodluck.

Hi J.,

I see that you have been separated for a year and have had a boyfriend for that same year. I wonder if you got the boyfriend so that you wouldn't be alone or maybe wouldn't have to deal with the emotions of your separation? I have been separated from my husband for almost 2 years and am now in the process of a divorce. I have been lonely at times, but I surround myself with family and friends. While it won't be easy at first, this is your opportunity to re-evaluate your goals and give them some focus without trying to handle a relationship. I am not saying being in a relationship is a bad thing, but I have really enjoyed this time to myself. I have been able to have more alone time with my children and have given very serious thought to what I want in a future relationship. I have gone on several dates, but no one has been the right match and I refuse to settle for less than what I know I want. I think that being on your own for a bit is very beneficial. Take this time to reconnect with family, friends, and yourself.

Best of luck to you and your daughter!

You should try Parents without Partners - its online, and you can meet someone who might give you a better relationship.

Of course its not weird, you have to adjust to this new situation. Now would be a good time to focus on your needs, what do like to do? Do you have any hobbies you could pursue, go to the gym, join a group and make some new friends. I am a MAry Kay consultant in the area, I would love to give you a complimentary skin care session if you are interested. Please contact me if you are.

I think that if you have a bad relationship then it might be awful for you to not be with him, but better off in the long run for all of you. I wish you the best of luck. I have a 3 year old also and she is my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am not with her father. I haven't been with him since I found out that I was pregnant and he has nothing to do with her. I live with my boyfriend of over 2.5 years so it is great.. I hope it works out.

I can completely understand. My baby is only 8 weeks old and her father left me when I was 8 months pregnant. I suffered a terrible depression, mainly compounded by loneliness. I'm still lonely, but I try to stay in contact with friends and I have just gone back to work. I know, it's not the same being with friends as it is that someone special I KNOW, I STILL MISS HIM!

join aplaygroup.. go to gym classes, go to story hours at the library or barnes and noble.. there's a bunch of things to do and you'll end up meeting people.

hi J.,
i am sorry to hear about your break up. ofcourseyou are heart broken and that isto be expected. you need to focus on yourself and your daughter right now and taking careof yourself and her is the single most important thing. its ok to be sad but you have a duaghter tothink about and it seems she may be confused b/c this is the 2nd man to be in your lives and now has left. you need to be there for her and take care ofyourself as well,

I am sorry that you are loney. Keeping yourself busy will help a lot. I am sure all of a sudden you feel like you have all this time to yourself which can be difficult. Start planning things to do especially on weekends such as visiting friends or family. Maybe if you don't already get a membership to gym (if you like to workout) and make sure it has a daycare.
It will take some time to adjust. Good luck!

I am sorry about your break up and it takes time to heal a broken heart. It's easier said than done sometimes, but focus on other things in your life. Your daughter needs you. Call an old friend, get together with family or coworkers or neighbors. You said the relationship wasn't that great and you know in your heart that you deserve to be treated better.

I know how you feel. I felt that way when I was pregnant with my son and his father was nowhere to be found. Ironically, my boyfriend and I are still together, but I spend most the week with him in Methuen and the rest at my apartment in New Hampshire. When I'm home, it's usually because we've been arguing and I'm always very lonely, at night after my son goes to sleep. I know he needs alone time and time with his friends, but I don't know people in New England anymore, so for me, the alone time is more lonely than it is pleasant.

It's not the same, I know, but I think loneliness is more discomfort with myself than it is a reflection on things that are going on. I don't have any real advice except to reach out to people you care about whenever you can. And I may not be anyone you know, but I know how it goes, and you can email me anytime. I'm a good listener.

I hope you start to feel better soon. Good luck.