"Listening Ears" Not Working - 3 Yr Old

Many times we do not realize how we have developed this situation. Children at this age notice any time that we are somewhere and say "Johnny, go get your shoes", and we continue to talk to the person we are visiting with, then ignore if our child is actually doing what we asked. This is all natural and normal for us Moms and Dads. But as our children get older they pick this up and realize they have time between what Mom tells me and I get extra time to play. So I will ignore, and many times when we are in front of other parents, caregivers, etc. we will not be so quick to give consequences to that request not being met. We dont want to look harsh in front of others. So the answers are to look at how often this happens and try to quickly guide your child right after you give the request and follow threw with it. Kids make us grow, right along with them.

this sounds exactly like my 3 YO son. Usually he is really good with his listening but some days... we usually give him one or two warnings to check his listening ears and USE them. If the behavior continues, immediately he goes to sit in a time out. After the time out, he is great and listens well- just has to push the issue to test the waters to see what we are going to do.

Time outs and loss of toy (if that is how he is misbehaving) seems to work for now. When that stops working I will be in trouble again!!

Ah yes, we too have this problem. All I can say is it won't stop until she learns that it isn't OK to ignore you (or to only listen when you get mad or count to 3). I don't mean to say you have a bad girl(she is PERFECTLY NORMAL!) but she sort of gets off on getting a rise out of you (all our kids do!). So you have to find a way to completely emotionally detach from it. And then you want to teach her to listen the FIRST time you say something (counting to 3 just teaches her you don't have to really listen until you get to 2 1/2!) We started using Love and Logic (www.loveandlogic.com). We say something like "oh oh,how sad" (a heavy does of empathy - aka love). Then "time for a little bedroom time" (consequences - aka logic). She gets time away from me (not punishment, but consequences of her actions) and I am perfectly happy because I either have a child who listens or I get time to myself! We cannot control whether they do the thing we are asking them or telling them to do (in most cases), we can only control their physical location of their body. Give her the choice to listen and be with you or not listen and be alone in her room and you take a way the control issue that is the source of the problem! Check out the website - they have great parenting books, CD's, tapes, and classes. Many you can get at your library. You can call them to see if there is a class near you. Good luck!

There are fun preschool activities to help improve listening skills- you can buy them from any where that sells early childhood curriculums, or you can develop your own. Play music, and tell her what actions go along with it- clap your hands, touch the floor, turn around etc. You can set up a scavenger hunt type activity that ends with a small treat after she has followed the directions. Just remember that the treat should never be the point of the game- the point has to be what a good listener she is! She may not have a true understanding of what listening ears are- go for a walk, and say "listen- do you hear-----? And everyone else who responded saying its normal three year old behavior is absolutely right!

"Love and Logic" it follows you through out their lives. Check it out. The prior poster summed it up well. We have been using it for 3 years now, and we have a very well behaved child, who at one point ignored us.

I had a childhood friend who had a really mild case of epilepsy. She didn't have seizures, but she sort of zoned out and it would seem like she was ignoring you. Just a thought...probably not the case at all, but you might ask your doctor if there is any other explanations before you get too strict with her.

It's very likely it's a phase...it's called "childhood"! :-) About the time they grow out of that, the next phase of not listening starts - it's called "teenage"! One thing that works for me is to turn off the TV/video/computer...

im sure its just a phase.

first of all, stop yelling. kids can actually be programmed to not listen until you yell.

second, get down on her level, right next to her.

third, get her to look at you when you are talking. tell your child care what you are doing - and ask them to do the same.
what kind of repremands are they giving her at day care? its one thing to be disrespectful or violent, but just not listening? what are they doing? they are supposed to be understanding and loving, not repremanding her for being a kid! schedule a meeting and figure out what is going on at child care. this could be serious.

finally, just be patient. the calmer you are, the calmer she will be, and if you respect her, she will respect you. dont force her to listen - if shes in the middle of something, wait until shes finished perhaps.

just trust yourself. you are the parent. you are the one who knows your daughter best. :D

Yeah, sounds pretty normal.

But it could be that she's not being sassy on purpose - does she just have really good focus? I know that if I'm reading, my husband will have to say my name a couple times before I hear him.

Do you make eye contact before you tell her things? If not, this could be the case, and that would be my first suggestion.

If you do make eye contact (or even if you don't, really), try having her repeat what you said. For instance, "Honey, please pick up your toys and come to dinner. What do I need you to do?" This way you know if she's acknowledging you or not.

Also, make sure you are starting to work on 2-3 step directions. It'll help when she gets to preschool.

Hope I have helped!