Life After Spliting.

Hi L.,

I'm sorry you're going through this. My divorce was finalized today (after moving out and filing in 2008! ugh) and I can tell you it DOES get better, and the stress of moving on is nothing compared to the unhappiness I felt staying in an unhealthy relationship.

Most family law attorneys will do a consultation for little or no money.

Child support is pretty easy to file for. Look up your county's family court online. Their website will probably have a list of frequently asked questions and steps you need to follow. If I were you I'd go file for custody and support RIGHT AWAY so that there is some kind of order in place. You can always modify it later to make it more workable for the three of you, but you don't want him running off with your child without any way to make him come back.

As for the lonely and sad feelings, I know it's tough, but you will get through it. If you weren't lonely and sad after deciding to leave the man who fathered your child THAT would be a problem. Are there any mental health services covered by your health insurance? I started seeing a therapist once a week when I moved out and then attended his "relationships adjustment group" which I found SOOOO helpful and strengthening. Another suggestion would be to look for a co-parenting class or a single parenting group. You'll learn some really valuable information AND meet other people who are going through similarly challenging times.

Hope this helps. Good luck to you.

T.

girl, its hard. you take one day at a time and sometimes you take one minute at a time. you do the best you can and it will get better. do not feel guilty and let him off the hook. he needs to pay to support your son so go to your county courthouse and get the info. i did everything myself without an attorney and i have sole custody of the kids and get child support. i lived with my mom until i met a wonderful man who is great with me and our kids. we got married last october and he is nothing like my ex! so there are good days ahead. its hard right now because all of this is new but you do get thru it and it does get better. good luck to you!

Its hard to know where to begin I am going through a similar situation except I am married .Getting a lawyer is probably the best thing to do but is very expensive. I am going to see a lawyer at least for the half hour consultation to gather whatever info I can. As far as moving on Im going to have to learn that too.Wish you and your son the best of luck.

I know how you feel. I attributed the moodiness with not being "ready" but really there were signs that SO was not ready for responsibility. Owning a home will never compare to being a family, and being responsible for a house is nothing compared to raising a child. When you want to obtain CS, you might have to establish legitimization. Check out your state to find out the steps. Good luck and get ready for establishing a new you! I discovered that moodiness was just a way of maintaining control over you. And, now that SO doesn't have that any longer, won't your son establish a better relationship with women because the "role model" is gone?

get a lawyer. best of luck to you.