Libido Help

Best advice I can give you is to find a book called "Intimate Issues" by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus and read it!! It was a huge blessing to me and helped me to see some underlying issues that needed to be dealt with. I know you can find it on Amazon.com...
The other thing I can say is that if you take the first step in his direction (even though you don't feel like it), the feeling will follow a lot of the time, if not most of the time. I know you must be tired, but it is so worth the investment. (Sex is good for married couples in so many ways!!)

There is another book I am reading thru called "100 Days to Intimacy" by Douglas Weiss, that talks about scheduling intimate times together, among other things.
Here is his website:
http://www.drdougweiss.com/Conferences.html
I think it would be beneficial for you to maybe check out this book or even attend one of his conferences.

One more thing: are you familiar with the Family Life Marriage Conferences? go to www.familylife.com and click on the conference button. My husband and I attended two of these, (one in Houston) and they were very beneficial to our relationship...we would probably not be together at this time if not for them! (still together after 17+ years of marriage)

Hang in there...I think you are doing well to at least want to try to find an answer to keep your marriage happy. Kudos for that!

Hope this helps!
May God bless you and your babies and your marriage!!

Laura

PS I would stay away from any pills right now while you are pregnant unless they are absolutely necessary...

PPS You mentioned getting your life back...as a mother of eight (yes, you read right..EIGHT!) that can really relate to what you said, let me encourage you that (you probably know this) your life will never be the same...you'll never get "it" back...but that is a goooood thing...how much more blessed are we moms to have these precious little ones in our lives!! ;-)

I agree with April.

I think if maybe you can ask him for help with the bedtime ritual and start a ritual of your own it may be fun and enticing. He puts the kids to bed and you get changed into some outfit or just wait for him in another room with a smile on. Good Luck.

I have 4 kids...I think what you have to realize is how life has changed and how hubby has to see that too. You have a 4 yr old, about to have a newborn, and a hubby pulling you in 3 directions. You are getting affection all day from the baby inside and your 4 yr old... Hubby isn't. Sometimes men don't even think about it like that. Affection is affection so that part is being fulfilled in your life plus some!

I aged 5 yrs from the time I gave birth to my oldest until they took me back to my room (back then you had babies in operating rooms regardless how it came out ;) )...anyway, my husband didn't go through all that. Yes we both had a new baby and yes it changed both of our responsibilities, but I grew up and changed in an instant, and he didn't go through that kind of change. We had some hard times adapting as well.

I am not trying to rag on men, but they tend to be our other children in away. I am a SAHM...and my kids are touching me in some way it seems all day...and I wouldn't have it any other way,but by the time they go to bed I am ready to be alone and veg out without having to tend to someone else. I know that seems awful but it is true LOL. HUbby has all day to himself and if not can get away a lone. I don't have that always.

Most women and men see sex differently. He will have to adapt to you and you will have to try to accomadate him, but as your children grow this changes. I think it is VERY normal and there isn't anything wrong with you. Maybe just try to plan mommy and daddy time...If you take the initiative to plan some time for you guys, he will see you are trying and maybe he will be more understanding. There are all sorts of ways to spice things up...nothing wrong with giving them a try too. Your body has changed, your mind has changed, and there is a good chance sex will be different from here on out for you guys, but you could make a point to try new things and it could be different for the best.

Try asking hubby that if he clean up dinner and can put the kids to sleep and let you have some down time, then you can play mommy and daddy afterwards, or incorporate different things to try and rule out. If you don't like it you don't have to do it again...

It will just take communication and both of you putting your heads together to figure out how to get things spiced back up for yall...

Good luck.. Congrats on the new baby!

I forgot to ask you what kind of work you do from home. My husband is eager for me to start working again and I am interested to learn more about the work-from-home career.

I totally hear you! My baby is now 4 and my sex-drive never really returned after he was born. Give yourself a little credit, you are busy mom and we as females can never truly even begin to understand the male sex drive. You might be interested in a product called Adrenal Rescue (natural/ alt medicine) after you have finished nursing. You can find more info on this product at www.meadlabs.com. Good luck.

I will second the vote for the book "Intimate Issues". It's amazing. I had physical issues with sex when I got married. Had to go through physical therapy, etc. It was very difficult and really hard to have any kind of desire for sex when it hurt REALLY bad every time we did it. Even once we got the physical stuff figured out I still had NO desire. But, "Intimate Issues" was a huge help. Talks a lot about preparing your mind for intimacy and stuff. It's very typical for a woman not to need sex as much as a man, but for our husband's sake, it's good to figure out how to get interested and have fun. Our marriages need that physical intimacy even though it's not always first on our priority list. Kudos to you for recognizing this as an issue and trying to do something about it.
- P.

After you deliver and wean - look into Progesterone / Testosterone cream - you can get them at the health food store.

Don't know if I can help your libido, but maybe I can offer some suggestions for your relationship. :-) My libido was flatlined, too, after two kids, and my husband was such a sweetheart that he didn't press the issue. We were both exhausted and in need of special time with each other, but it was like we were speaking different languages in terms of our need.s

We have been reading For Women Only and For Men Only by Shaunti Feldham (sp?). These are fast reads that really get at the reason behind the behavior. For example, men seem to crave physical intimacy because it makes them feel accepted. If you look at it from his point of view, he might just be feeling "pushed aside" or less important because the kids get the best of your attention these days. Likewise, he may not realize that it's more a mental thing than a physical thing for women and he needs to be doing little things all day to preparing you for intimacy.

My husband has really changed his approach lately and it's really done wonders for our marriage. Now, that's not to say that you should expect him to change - you'll be disappointed if he doesn't. But sometimes just understanding where our spouses are coming from makes them a little easier to love.

:-)