Level of Danger - Toxoplasmosis

Updated on July 27, 2008
L.F. asks from Fullerton, CA
52 answers

Just wondering if anyone could provide insight as to the danger of scooping the litterbox. I'm inclined to err on the side of caution but, on the other hand, my husband makes annoying comments about getting rid of our cats when I ask him to scoop. I do want to be safe but if the danger is miniscule, I'd rather keep the relationship between my husband and I (and the cats) harmonious rather than insisting.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all! I particularly liked the responses advising hiring a neighborhood kid (great idea), swapping cookies (cute idea), and teaching my 2-yr old to scoop (funny idea). The thing that makes most sense is getting tested and testing my cats. They're indoor only and I've had them for years; we also had the flushing box for the first pregnancy but I'll take a look at the Paw as the Littermaid never works like it's supposed to. I'm sure if it's an issue, hubby will end up doing it... and, if I can deal with pregnancy, I can deal with a little grumbling. Thanks again!

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

I am 30 years old and have cats my whole life, my first pregnancy I was tested and I had not had the toxoplasmosis, which the doc. was suprised, I still cleaned the cat box on occasions when my husband was giving me a mouth full,lol.... I was just careful and washed my hands immediately.
But I would go get tested.

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A.H.

answers from San Diego on

i don't personally know about risks. If you're really worried, you could get one of those automatic cleaning litterboxes. That way the waste is bagged for you and you don't have to touch it.

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S.G.

answers from Reno on

Hi L.,
I heard that if you already had cats prior to getting pregnant you already carry toxoplasmosis and it wouldn't harm the fetus. However, I would go online and do some research.
Best wishes,
S. G

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P.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

The danger of toxoplasmosis is very real. During my pregnencies although I did not have cats, they still visited my back yard. I gave up yard work during my pregnencies as the risks are not worth the posibility of damage to my unborn child.

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P.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I recently read some where that if you already have cats, there's no real danger because you've already been exposed to it. Being around a new cat, cleaning their littler box is the issue. But, it's always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to our babies. Talk to your doctor. I had a student in a high school I was working at that was slowly going blind from the parasites that were in his eyes. He got them while his mom was pregnant with him. At the time the parasites were dormant, if you can call it that, but there was no real way to help him.
Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from San Diego on

I have the same problem, my suggestion is get a "litter robot". It's the most wonderful automatic litter box in the world, it is SOOO worth the 300 or so dollars. look online. once a week cleaning and no contact with poo such that my husband now regularly does it and I don't have to at all anymore even not pregnant! We've had ours for 3 years and it still works like a charm for 2 cats.

M

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Unless you are pregnant, I'm unaware of any health warnings. If you are, there certainly are health concerns and a pregnant woman is advised to not change the cat litter box. I tend to go for gloves even though not pregnant and a dust mask since every time I dump the box you get a good amount of airborne dust and any containing a high level of bacteria seemed wise to simply toss on the dust mask. Obviously, washing your hands really good is always advised. I'm all about minimizing the risk and like I said, not being pregnant I still take simple precautions that don't make the tast any more burdensome.

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A.M.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Here is a great resource, my SIL is dealing with this right now with our family. They think she should get rid of the kitten. So I gave her this link.
http://www.cdc.gov/toxoplasmosis/factsheet.html

Get yourself tested. But if you have lived with strictly indoor cats your whole life as I have, (my mom bred and showed persians) then there is virtually no way they/you have it. You see, cats have to eat an infected rodent to get toxo. Most impotantly you have to also understand, that cats are not the only way or the best way to get toxo. Food is. Also if you garden, whether you have cats or not, you put yourself at risk by digging in dirt that a infected cat or infected rodent has pooped in. Read up on it, educate yourself and husband. I really think you will be fine if you simply are smart about it. I think the risk is so minor when referring to feline transmission. Good luck.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was told not to change the letter box at all. Would a neighbor do it for you. Maybe a child you could pay? God bless you and your baby.
Suzy

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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have 2 cats. I just made sure to wear gloves when I changed the box or did any work in the garden. Several of my friends did the same thing and it was fine. I will do it again with the 2nd pregnancy.

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M.C.

answers from San Diego on

If your husband is dead set against it- of course wash your hands/use gloves after scooping. As others have mentioned I have also heard that living w/cats you develop antibodies.
I think I remember reading awhile back that you can have your cat tested. It's worth a call to the vet and ask. And keep your cat indoors.
I know my husband was the same way for my second pregnancy I ended up sending the cats to my mothers house for 7 months don't know if that's an option for you.

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S.E.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L.,

I spent a lot of my pregnancy worrying about exposure to toxoplasmosis. At 40, and having had cats (both indoor and outdoor cats) my whole life, and having gardened without gloves, I thought I would have been exposed and immune. But I wasn't.

The only way to know if you are immune is to have the blood test. Alternatively, my doctor told me that my husband could take stool samples of the cats from the litter box and have them tested by our vet to see if they were carrying the virus. The risk is greater if your cats go (or ever have gone) outdoors. (You probably also know that exposure to cat feces is not the only way to get toxo; you have to make sure any meat you eat is thoroughly cooked, and any fruits and vegetables are thoroughly washed.)

If you are not immune and your cats' feces are a threat, you could try asking your husband to refrain from grumbling--to see looking after the cats as a way of looking after your unborn baby and giving you peace of mind. My own dear one hated this job, too, but "did his time." That our doctor expected /urged him to do it helped.

And if you do have to do it yourself occasionally, it's really important to wear gloves and a mask, and wash your hands thoroughly with very warm soapy water for at least one minute afterwards. (I also was tempted to wear goggles! lol) You can buy disposable masks and gloves at a big drug store. If you have long hair, I also found it's a good idea to pull it all back before doing the scooping, so that you don't have to swipe away a stray wisp of hair with your gloved hand.

If you aren't immune to toxo, try to become immune to your husband's complaints about the task of scooping litter. As long as you both know that you're all in it for the long haul, you all can ride it out.

Lastly, my husband made the following suggestion: If you know a responsible neighbor kid who's looking to earn a little bit of money, you could pay that kid to scoop each day.

Best wishes,
S.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My understanding is that if you have had the cats for quite a while (years) prior to pregnancy then you have probably already been exposed to the toxoplasmosis. I changed my cat's litter box during both pregnancies and just washed my hands thoroughly afterwards. The last thing you need to hear about when your hormones are out of whack is lsoing the animals you care about, sadly, I know from experience too!

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went through my pregnancy alone and the litterbox was a major concern of mine. My Midwife said that as long as I washed my hands throughly I should be in no danger. Sure enough, I have a happy, healthy 4 yr old now :))))

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K.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi L. - I have 2 cats and dealt w/ the same thing (annoying husband). He actually did it, but I had to "remind" him every time. But I was also a pet sitter so I had to wear gloves and a mask when scooping the litter. My doc said most people who grew up w/ cats already had the immunity. I got tested and surprise I didn't have it so I still had to take precautions. Also, if your cats are indoors only there is less risk. You can have your cats tested at the vet. But the gloves and mask (got a bunch from the 99 cent stores) are probably the way to go if you have to do it. Plus if your husband sees you wearing those things he might feel bad and just do it himself!

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have two cats, and scooped the box through two pregnancies. You can have your doctor run a simple blood test on you to see if you have the toxoplasmosis antibody - if you do, your cats probably are infected. Even if they are, just don't touch the feces and always wash your hands after scooping/dumping the box. My doctor told me that the risk is very low from housecats.

Enjoy!

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L.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,
I think you are right in one point. Better leave in peace with your husband rather than insisting. Your family's harmony is more important than everything else. Cats are adorable but they can not be a issue between husband/wife relationship. You already have the answer for your question. If you want to have a pet, may be a good solution is to have a dog. May God bless you and give you knowledge.

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K.R.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Dear L.,
The danger is real. My teenage daughter got Toxoplasmosis and it was a difficult process from finding out to treatment, don't go near it.
Go on the internet, download some information about this for your husband to read. Educate him about why during your pregnancy and your nursing time you need his help and why, it is for the health of your child...can you get his support? Something along that line?
Good luck,
K.

G.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did quite a bit of internet research on the subject after happening upon a show about the effect it has on cats and mice on the discovery channel...Fascinating!!!

http://www.cdc.gov/toxoplasmosis/

What I gathered, in a nutshell, is
- The only time that it can be actively passed along is upon recent infection.
- cats have to catch it from rodents or birds, so an indoor cat is not likely to pose a threat unless you have a rodent problem. And then the cat's poo only poses a threat during that initial infection period!
- if you have previously been exposed/infected earlier in life, you can't pass it to your baby now, if you cross the path of infected poo, now.

With all of that having been said, the damage toxoplasmosis is capable of doing to your unborn baby is SEVERE and your husband (like mine) needs to GROW UP! This isn't about him! This is not "a great opportunity to threaten to dispose of his pregnant wife's pets"!

Just scoop the box, dude! It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. The trade off is a retarded baby, come on!!

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just get those cat liner bags. That way he wont have to scoop.
I do think it is kind of mean for the love of your life threaten to get rid of the cats simply cause he doesn't want to scoop the litter, to keep you out of danger.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Take your cats to the vet and have them tested. We'd just brought home a new kitten when I found out I was pregnant, and lo and behold, the little guy had exactly what could affect me and the baby. So my husband took care of the catbox, and two pregnancies later, still does!

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

http://www.medicinenet.com/toxoplasmosis/article.htm

"Touching your hands to your mouth after gardening, cleaning a cat's litter box, or anything that came into contact with cat feces"

eating raw or partly cooked meat, especially pork, lamb, or venison

touching your hands to your mouth after contact with raw or undercooked meat

organ transplantation or transfusion (this is rare)"

This information is straight from the link above. As many cats as I've had, as well as my friends and my family, I think you are safe. If you are concerned, wear rubber gloves when cleaning the litter box and wash your hands. Sounds like he just doesn't want to deal with the litter box.

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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,

Good advice from all, so far. Just wanted to echo -- if your kitty is indoor only, risks are very low -- unless you also enjoy very rare (like almost raw) red meat -- especially lamb. Toxo (Toxoplasma gondii)in cats is contracted through infected rodents and birds eaten by the animal and transmitted through the fecal-oral route. Wear gloves, wash well.

You can also be tested to see if you are already immune. Ask your doctor to have you take the blood tests for Toxo IgG and IgM (FDA approved on the Siemens IMMUNLITE and ADVIA Centaur platforms -- should be available through Quest labs and Labcorp). Some doctors advocate a followup test for IgG avidity, as well. If you have immunity, there is nothing to worry about. Toxoplasmosis is only a danger to the developing fetus if the mother contracts the disease while pregnant. The two tests together will allow the doctor to determine if you had previous immunity or have contracted the disease recently. If the latter, you will need to follow up with antiparasitic treatments and ultrasound to see if the fetus has been affected, and to what degree. The baby will also need to be evaluated after birth.

Don't worry too much -- toxo is rarely a problem in this country. It has much higher prevalence in South America (esp. Brazil) and parts of Europe (esp. France).

Congratulations on the pending arrival!

R.

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Seek proffessional advice, as I wouldn't risk this. Your pediatrician or OB should be able to advise you well.

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C.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Check with your physician --this medical problem has to do with affecting pregnant women who clean the litterbox. You
can also look up this disease on Web M.D.

Carole W. Retired R.N.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sorry to hear the negative comments regarding your husbands stand - ignore those small minded people. I completely understand your situation as I too am the responsible partner for our cat. Wear gloves and a mask and wash your hands really well after cleaning the litter box and you'll be fine. Your Dr can always check your antibody levels to ease your mind, most of us have been exposed at some time in our lives, especially if we have animals. Good luck

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D.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I cleaned the litter threw both my pregnancies. I just used plastic gloves and washed my hands after doing it each time. Try to keep your self from breathing it in the best you can.
Both my children were just fine and there were no problems!

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

L.,
When I was pregnant with my first child, we had cats. My doctor insisted that I not scoop and if it was absolutely necessary, to wear gloves and a mask. Toxoplasmosis can be so dangerous, why take the chance? Perhaps your hubby needs to be better informed about the possible dangers to you and your unborn little one.
Good luck,
T.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I have 2 cats and 2 children. It was a rare day when my husband would clean the cat box either pregnancy. It was mostly me. Use common since precautions. Do not touch anything after cleaning the cat box until you've properly washed your hands with soap and water, wear gloves if you want to. One thing I was told that put my mind at ease by the receptionist at one of my doctors office (I now can't remember which pregnancy or if it might have even been at the vets) is this...are you taking it and putting it in your mouth? I obviously said no. Then you're not at risk.
Both my cats are indoor cats and have always been. I did end up running the blood tests with my first pregnancy to make sure no one had it just to make everyone feel better because on one would get off my case.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

If your cat is strictly an indoor cat, you have almost no risk at all of contracting toxoplasmosis (and the truth is, most adults already have antibodies to it). Cats get toxo by being outside and digging in the dirt and eating birds, mice, etc. If your cat is strictly an indoor cat, then he/she is not coming into contact with any of those things.

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C.C.

answers from Reno on

There is no reason why he can't clean the liter box for his loving pregnant wife while she's pregnant. Seriously it's 9 months out of his life. I would explain to him the complications associated with scooping cat poop while pregnant and ask him if he would please understand and do it without making comments out of the love he has for you and his unborn child. If he insists on being a poop about it I would buy a respirator mask and model it while cleaning out the liter box and make sure you take a shower right after. I am irritated that he would make such a big deal over something as simple as cleaning a liter box when his wife is carrying his unborn child and willing to go through the pain of childbirth which lasts much longer than cleaning the liter box. I honestly don’t know how common it is to get Toxoplasmosis from cleaning the liter box but the fact that it’s possible would be enough reason for me to put my husband in his place if he gave me a hard time. Sorry to be so direct but I don’t think you should have to put yourself or your unborn child in harms way to appease your husband.

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C.S.

answers from San Diego on

Dear L.,
The real hazard with kitty litter is if you breathe in the dust the litter makes.
This is unlikely--if you are careful, and you should be extra careful if you are pregnent.
Otherwise, that caution is for the old kind of kitty litter.
And I don't think anyone really uses that anymore.
Good Luck,
C. S.

PS. your kitties are of a great comfort to both of you-
do't get rid of them!! That would be a shame!!! Truly!!!!

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K.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hello L.,

I am not sure about the exact level of danger, but I have heard that pregnant women, or anyone who could become pregnant, should absolutely NOT be around cat feces. If your husband loves you and cares about the health of your baby and the rest of your life, he needs to just deal with it. I know you love your husband, but on this you should be tough as nails and unwavering. How hard is this for him compared to what the dire consequence could be. You stand up for yourself and your baby!!! Good luck! K.

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M.B.

answers from Reno on

Our OB/GYN said not to change the cat box and if I had to clean it, wear gloves and wash my hands afterwards. Even if the risk is miniscule, it's still a risk so I didn't do it.
I'd explain that the danger is only for 9 months and really no reason to get rid of the cats (and my husband said the same thing the whole time too but he never did it) and I would also suggest that you just try to ignore the comments or just simply say "we're not getting rid of the cats so that's that" and don't engage in any further discussion about it. The only way you can fight about this is if you have more than one person to fight it.
I would also be very careful of eating pork products in a restaurant while you're pregnant and if you do cook pork, wash your hands and work area thoroughly after handling it and make sure you cook it very well.
I myself just avoided all pork products the entire pregnancy (I can live without bacon for 9 months) I would also stay out of the garden during your pregnancy. All of this to avoid exposure (unless you want to be tested for immunity by your doctor)

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B.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Toxoplasmosis is serious and the risk is pretty high... except that if you've had a cat for a while you've probably had it and are immune. Could ask your healthcare provider if there is a test to check for the antibodies. But seriously, if my husband weren't willing to do something simple like scoop the cat litter for the sake of my (and OUR baby) I would be kicking some tail. My husband does it, and I know he hates it, but he doesn't complain and if I go NEAR it he's like "get away!"

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,

Not to worry. The danger is miniscule. I've had cats all my life and was reassured by my vet when I was pregnant--so I scooped then and scoop now. Take care. M.

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

I asked my doctor about it when I was pregnant with our third, and he said that he'd never had a case of it since he started practicing (and he's been practicing a long time.) I did wear latex gloves and washed my hands right after scooping the litter box.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,
I completely understand your situation. I can appreciate how you feel. Not everyone has the same level of enjoyment of cats, and cat lover or not, I don't know anyone who enjoys cleaning the box! I have a different suggestion that could help.
I recently purchased a new cat box called the Omega Paw Self-Cleaning Litter Box. I love it! You don't have to touch the litter to clean it. You just roll the box on it's side (it has rounded sides to roll it easily). All the poop gets deposited into a drawer. Then you just empty out the drawer. It works great!
Amazon sells it with free shipping. It is a bit larger than other boxes, but if you have the space, it's the easiest thing I've found for cleaning the box. If you check out on Amazon, you can read through the reviews on it (about 300 of them).
If you do end up dealing with the box yourself, make sure to use gloves and to wash your hands really well.
Meow,
M.

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K.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm no expert, but from what I understand, it's really dangerous and you should steer clear, period. Maybe you should print out some literature regarding the issue for your husband to read so he understands the seriousness and that you're not just trying to get out of your duties.

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H.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm the mommy to a beautiful, healthy 6 month old baby girl. I'm a single mommy with two indoor cats. I cleaned the litter box my entire pregnancy out of necessity. I just used gloves and made sure I washed my hands really well afterwards. My research indicated that it is much more common with indoor/outdoor cats and on the East coast. Everything was OK with me.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

You've already heard from others about the risks. I too would err on the side of caution. My husband changed the box during my whole pregnancy and hated it. What I did to make it easier is buy litter box liners. You can get a box of 5 for around $3 they are just like kitchen garbage bags but much shallower, then he can just toss it and not have to scoop the poop. The brand I've seen is Jonny Cat and you can get them at just about any pet store, and even gocery stores. If it's easier for him maybe he won't be so resentful. Plus in a pinch if you have to, just use gloves and take the whole bag out and toss it. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,
I spoke to my vet about this when I was preggo and he said the chances of getting it are very, very low...poop has to sit for more than a day for the bacteria that cause toxoplasmosis to grow. He also said if you have lived with cats for a while, you are probably immune. Lastly, I also bought the Omega Paw Self-Cleaning Litter Box and my husband and I love it!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L., It has been said that changing or scooping out the little box can cause birth deffects in unborn babies, I did the litter boc thing while I was pregnant with all 3 of my kids, but if youare concerned wear a mask like the doctors wear. but it wouldn't be right to get rid of your cats. At 40 trying to have a baby, there can be risks, so talk to your doctor, one of my daycare moms was pregnant at 39 and lost her baby, due to a chomazone issue which was related to her age. That's what her doctor said anyways J.

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C.H.

answers from San Diego on

You ask an interesting question, that I have been wondering about myself (esp since I got tired of nagging MY husband to do it and occasionally changed it myself). After all, we get SO many warnings when we're pregnant, it's hard to know which are more or less important, seeing as we almost never hear any statistics on how common any of these things are.
A little googling reveals this:
"A study by Guerina et al.[5] showed a prevalence of congenital toxoplasmosis of 1 per 10,000 live births in the United States, where 85% of women of childbearing age are susceptible to acute infection with T. gondii.[6]"
(http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/479554)
That's because only 11-15% of women have antibodies to it (Wikipedia entry, pretty informative)
So, frankly it's not super likely, but it is pretty bad if they get it, causing neurological problems, and some people even think it causes schizophrenia (!) OTOH, we're very lucky in the US, since "Up to one third of the world's population is estimated to carry a Toxoplasma infection." (Wikipedia)
Is your cat likely to be a hazard? "Studies have shown that only about 2% of cats are shedding oocysts at any one time" (Wikipedia) Sounds like indoor cats have no real way of catching it, although can we totally trust that cat food is okay??? Also, you can catch it from raw meat, but does anyone tell women to stop cooking meat?
I agree with the other posters though -- maybe prenatal discussions about the minor hassle of the litter box are a great way for husbands to get used to doing more chores, and for wives to practice being more firm about him helping around the house. (will also be necessary for kid's future health to have a mama who is not exhausted and frustrated!) If you have read the recent NYTimes article, then you know we have a LONG way to go for household chore equity! http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/15/magazine/15parenting-t....

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L.C.

answers from Reno on

Insist!!!! Tell the husband to grow up and man up to protect his wife and baby. Sorry to be harsh but,I am a nurse and have seen the horrible effects of toxo, is can cause great harm to the baby with life long damage. Please take care of yourself and the baby and leave the kitty litter where it is!

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M.V.

answers from Honolulu on

Husbands will do almost anything for Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip cookies. Maybe he would consider a swap, you bake and in exchange he doesn't complain about the cats. =)

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J.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have read that the danger is mostly for outdoor cats. We have indoor cats and through both of my pregnancies I was scooping the litter. However, I was careful not to breathe the dust from dumping in the new litter.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Before I share what I know, let me ask you something. Knowing that the consequences of potential exposure are you willing to risk the potential consequences? It does not matter what the odds are, because if you're that one in a million the odds become 100%.

Having said that, I have a very dear friend who goes to visit her severly retarded child in a facility because of toxoplasmosis, directly attriubuted to their cats. Trust me, if she could go back and find a good home for the cats and have a typical child she'd do it in a heartbeat.

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J.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

i understand, ive always had cats, i always cleaned the litter, but when i got pregnant everyone of my family pitched in, i still did it once in a while and never got sick, but ive given away kittens before and like 2 days later theylle come back and say, "i just found out im pregnant and i have to give the kitty back" i love my cats and am happy to see them again, i personnally dont think its ok to shove a house cat outside when its not used to it, which is what most people do in your situation.

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N.P.

answers from Reno on

Teach your son to clean the litter box while you are potty-training him. Think twice about procreating with someone who threatens your animals.

Seriously, Stay away from the cat poop while you are gestating, or wear a face mack and wash your hands before and after.

C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have indoor/outdoor cats... and do not have the antibody for Toxoplasmosis. I was really, really worried about this throughout my pregnancy. It was my baby's pediatrician that put my mind at ease. I can't remember now the exact thing he told me on the subject, but basically that the chance of there being a problem is close to zero. As a precaution, I bought disposable gloves and used Feline Pine to avoid inhaling the dust... hope this helps.
Also want to add... I cannot tell you how many people in my life vilified cats while I was pregnant, telling me to get rid of my cats because they are a danger to the baby. (They might scratch her, smother her, blah, blah, blah.) When my baby arrived they were terrified of her and kept their distance. Her cry really frightened them. I had lots of extra treats on hand and gave them extra pets and snuggles to try to ease their process. She's almost eight months old now, and now they understand her a bit better. They still run when she gets into a really big scream fit, but are totally okay with her milder crying moments now. They hang out with her and with us on the bed, in the living room, in the garden. I always made her crib an off-limits zone. (I had it assembled long before she was born & used a squirt bottle of water to reinforce that they were not allowed in it on the few occasions when they ventured into it.) But I have to tell you that my baby loves them both so much -- the joy on her face, in her sounds and motions when they walk into the room is palpable. I am really glad to be raising her with these gentle creatures... and I fully expect that her first word is probably going to be one of their names... Best of luck!

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am not sure of the danger however I think your husband should grow up. You are pregnant and taking care of a two year old. Maybe you remember when your firs son was born but men tend to go into shock when they have to take on more responsibility when we become moms and we can not do everything. NOw with a second child he will have to do things you may have always done, he should get used to it and not threaten you. Sounds like you are willing to help your husband or just try to make peace however there is a risk and you should not scoop the poop! Stand your ground on this one and work through his threats and tantrums or else you will be rushing around trying to do it all once this baby is born.

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