So my fiance is having doubts about his son with a different mother. Now that his son is getting older, he is having doubts that he is the biological father. He signed the right of parentage and pays child support. He wants to get a DNA test but knows that the mother will not give permission. Since they have split up, the mother and son moved out of state, and he has asked her plenty of times for a DNA test and she has denied him of one every time. Being that he signed the right of parentage, he gives up his right to a court-ordered DNA test. What are his other options? Please need help and advice on this one, especially since we now have one on the way together and due very soon! Ok I would like to add a little more information since everyone is taking it differently. When the parents split up, the child was 8 months old. They were living in MN together, and less then a month after they split, the mother up and moved to NJ with no warning or nothing. As soon as the father found out, he asked immediately for a DNA test and she said no right away. She does not want him to have one done, and he feels there is a reason for that. He has seen his son 3 times in person in the past almost 3 years. They do get to skype when its convienant for the mother. The mother has openly admitted that she does not want the father or his family to have a part in the childs life. And after she moved, she wanted the father to change the sons last name to her last name, which was another suspicious reason why he wants the test done. They do not have a close relationship, and the father does want one with his son. He is not trying to get out of support, he would just like to clear his mind and give his son the best possible relationship.
How old is his son? Is he a part of this boys life? If it comes back that he is not the father is he just going to abandon him? That would be an awful thing to do if the boy loves him as his father. Is he wanting to do this to get out of paying child support since you are having one together? This just does not make since to me.
Sounds like a *great* guy. Perhaps you want to consider this, as you're expecting a child with him. What if he doubts the paternity of *your* child?
He should go post this on www.freeadvice.com - they offer free legal advice and love to help with these situations.
ETA: I'm sure it's incomprehensible to most, but I'm 99% certain it matters that you two are having a child together because he doesn't want to pay child support for TWO children.
So his son lives out of state and he NEVER sees him?
The next time his son is visiting he can take him to the dr. himself and get a DNA test. He is the legal father! He can take his child to the doctor.
If he never sees the child then that's a whole different story and I would jump ALL over him for not being a responsable father.
I kind of don't understand what difference it makes if you have a child on the way or not.
L.
How old is the child?
You see, even if he gets a DNA test (or HLA, which is still 99.99% accurate, just a lot cheaper), there is a strong likelihood that it won't matter a whit. The courts can easily say that "the best interests of the child" trump what the blood tests show. If that child understands that your fiance is his dad, or there is no other person that can be produced to step in to NOW be Dad, then the court can determine that the best interest of the child is to not bastardize him.
Sorry, but your fiance should have had the blood work done before signing any paternity papers. Ahh.. but another reason that marriage before children is such a good idea.
ETA: I really am curious about how old the child is. At a minimum I am guessing 3 1/2. Since the first time you mentioned the child in a post was in 2010.
So if, hypothetically, he did get a DNA test and it was not his biological son, he'd simply renounce the kid, try to legally detach himself and stop being the only dad this child has known? And you're okay with that?
If the kid is biologically his, it will still always be known that his dad tried to get rid of him.
If this kid is older than an infant/todder, then I find this plan reprehensible.
You better get married before giving birth and get your baby DNA tested at the hospital when he/she is born, so that you have legal protections if he tries to get rid of you and this child later down the road.
While he should have had the test before, he could still have one done through the courts but would have to pay for it. He could do and pay for a home test himself the next time he has the child. Then if the test shows that he is not the boys father, he could proceed to the court to get them to require one (he may still have to pay for it though). Problem is, he can't recoup any money he has already paid but he could possibly not have to pay more support.
My question would be "What about the child?". Your fiance has been his father since birth, how long has that been?. Does your fiance not still love him? Would finding out that he is not his father change the bond they have already developed? If so, I feel sorry for both this child and the one you have on the way.
He can order a kit and the next time he sees his child, swab his cheek and send in the sample with his own for comparison. Depending on what state the right of parentage was signed in and how long it's been, it may not legally matter anyway but I can see where he might want to know. In my state, someone who agrees that he is the father or is judged by the court to be the father has two years to contest and after that, even if DNA proves otherwise, he has the legal rights and responsibilities of fatherhood and must continue to pay child support.
If he's still within the window of time to contest the parentage, he should check with the court on the process of raising the question and getting the court to order a test. This is something that varies by state and dealing with different states can be tricky, so he may want to consult with an attorney on this one.
He can go to the court system and request a DNA test and if he's granted one he will have to pay for everyone's test. His, the baby's, and the mother is often swabbed to so they can make no mistake that the baby they swab is the right one and not a different child that the woman borrows from someone.
It's pretty common to do this and he should just be able to call an attorney and ask how much they'd charge or he can call the County Court House and ask the Court Clerk.
If he pays child support through the state he may be able to call his worker and they can tell him how to go about filing for the test.
There are a lot of options for him to go through.
Next time the son is there have a blood test done, just blood typing. If the test shows that he could be the father, then get an OTC DNA test and follow the instructions.
Go to search engine of choice.
Search home DNA test kits.
Buy one of your choosing.
Swab cheeks of man and child and send off.
Costs a few hundred dollars.
Wait a couple weeks.
Get results in mail.
Done.
IMHO, it doesn't matter at this stage of the game. I assume the child knows this man as his/her father. It would be horribly mean and insensitive to try to explain to this child that this man really isn't his father and that this man now wants nothing to do with him/her.
Your fiance should have thought this through a little better before signing on that dotted line. It seems like he is really looking to get out of paying the support. Oh well, what's done is done; now he lives with the consequences of his choices.
btw, if the court won't order a DNA test, there is no way to force it.
