Mom Seeking Legal Help

Updated on April 28, 2008
D.E. asks from Anaheim, CA
7 answers

I been married for about 10 yrs. My husband and I got married young and started a family real young. Well to make a story short. He cheated on me with someone else. She ended up Pregant twice. The first one is his but the 2nd one people say it doesn't look like him at all. She file for child support, we didn't known until the court start to take it out of his paycheck. The courts sent the papers to his mothers house. How can they just take out money like that without finding out if he is the father? I mean they weren't even married.and we are a family of seven. If anyone out there that can give me advice on what I can do or can help in any why. I will be greatly thankful. He didn't sign anything claiming to be the father.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Because he signed the birth certifate is why they are claiming he is the father, or she is signed up for welfare and claimed he is the father, the burden of proof is on him. He can order the courts for a paternity test to be done. Until then he has to pay child support, now if its to much he can go back to court show how many other kids he has show his proof of income they could lower it, MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT HIS PROBLEM, this is his problem not yours, once is an accident twice is on purpose, only ten yrs worth of marriage and he has cheated on you twice,I am sure a lot more times than twice. Honey get your self a good attorney divorce this fool, he cheated on you once to many he will do it again and again and again. Take a magic marker a permnant one draw a huge L on his forhead for Loser. You can do better than this guy. The curb is where he needs to go.

Be strong

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H.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

If he signed the birth certificate, or if he is named the father on the birth certificate form (of which needs only to be signed by one parent) he legally assumed the responsibility. He can petition the court to have DNA tests done and how the child looks has no bearing, unless both of your are chinese and the baby is white, you get what I mean. Until you get the tests done, no one can help you.....And your husband should have thought about all that.....Honestly though, you cannot think because you are married that your chldren are any more important than hers are and she must do what she can to make sure her children are provided for and the courts can do this - what if the tables were turned, it could of been you.....You apparently know one of them is his and you had to of known he should be financially responsible and should be a father to that child just like he is to your seven, shouldn't he? You seem to be defending him and almost protecting him by way of your comments, I'm actually kind of surprised, how do you know what he has or hasn't done if this happened not once but twice, you know the first one is his so to say that he didn't sign anything claiming to be the father is absurd, come on now Danielle, apparently you are in denial and the only thing you could possible do to help him is to get everything straightened out so that you know where you all stand legally and you are morally obligated to your children ensure that their father does right by all his children so help him get this straightened out and maybe you should consider re-evaluating your position in this relationship. I know it's not what you want to hear, but here we offer the most pratical advice.....

I do hope it works out for you though, I really do and I'll say a prayer for you!

Be strong.....and by the way if for some reason you find out that he did have his signature on the birth certificate, he has committed adultry (even if he didn't), if his name is on either or both of those birth certificates, it can be submitted in a court of law, just so you know, in case you need it.....

H.

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Danielle
Unfortunately my husband and I have been through something similar to this. The good news is there is a way out of this if your husband is not the father. The bad news is it is a lot of hard work. The first thing you need to do is contact the D. A. office and get in touch with the person in charge of your case. Demand a DNA test for your husband to prove he is the father. You may have to get a court date and have the judge order the testing. They are not going to want to help you so you are going to have to be persistant. Once you have the test done and the results are back, then you have to fight the D.A. to get the money they have already taken. Good luck! Let me know if you need anything else.
N.

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

This happened to my good friend. He had to end up proving he was not the father by paying for a paternity test. He had to pay to go to court to get a court mandated clinic to do the test for him and then when it came back that he was not the father the court had to pay him back everything they had taken. Your husband needs a lawyer. If he gets a good enough lawyer he could simultaneously sue the mother for court cost while he orders the paternity test. Then she will be responsible for the cost of the lawyer, but if he is the father he will be responsible for all costs so beware because he does not sound very trustworthy, just fertile. Also he does not have to sign the birth certificate to be names the father, only one parent has to sign. You should know this because you have children of your own, she just has to name him as the father for the courts to process a child support case. That also happened to my brother and he is the father and is responsible for paying off the child support. No matter what if hes really believes he is not the father of both children he needs to prove it to the court. It seems backward, unfortunately for him this is the only way to prove she has the wrong father listed. In the case with my friend, the mother went through five men before getting the right guy and put four men through this same ordeal. I do argee that you should really ask yourself if he is worth all this agony.
Maybe you feel like you cant leave him after all you have four of his children. But the trust is broken and you can do better! If not for yourseld then to teach your children that you should not approve of anyone treating you with such disrespect.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, sadly it is very possible!! When mail isn't returned to the courts, district attorney or child support office it's simply assumed that the party was 'mail served'. Mail service is a sufficient form of service in this type of legal proceeding. So, if the matter goes uncontested they will proceed with or without proving that the other party actually had knowledge. A default judgement was entered against your husband because he didn't file the appropriate paperwork to contest it OR request a paternity test. There is a way to 'undo' the default judgement but the appropriate paperwork needs to completed and filed ASAP. GO down to your local Family Law Court and request to speak with the Family Law Facilitator they can help get you the paperwork needed. You are looking for something called 'Motion to Set Aside Default Judgement.' This is the ONLY way to get this done. As of right now...in the eyes of the law/court your husband is LEGAL dad to this child(ren) based on the court order. Legal dad doesn't have to mean Bio dad either. You need to act quickly because there are at times Statutes of Limitation with these situations!! If he does end up being dad though obviously he will be obligated to pay child support however he can request a hard ship for his other 7 biological children. Hope this helps.

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W.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Danielle- You can file a petition for paternity with your local court. However, until paternity is established he will have to pay child support. My sisters husband went through the same thing with a girl he didn't even find out was his until she was 15 and he was the 14th guy tested for paternity. I sucks in a way, but it's better then not paying now and having to pay back child support. If it is not his child all the money that he paid will have to be paid back. It takes awhile,but you will get it!!!!I am sincerly sorry for the pain you have endured. You seem like a stronge women I wish you and your family the best!!!
W. E.

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M.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can definitely ask for a paternity test. The paperwork that was sent to his mom's house probably gave you the option but since there wasn't any response to contest it, then they would begin taking child support. I would contact the District Attorney's office to contest the child support and ask for a paternity test. I went through that once with my ex-husband and thank goodness it was not his child. Good luck.

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