Leaving Kids with Grandparents for the First Time

I agree with one of the posts that you should decide on how to tell each child based on their own personality. One may do better with sooner and the other with less or no notice. And for children this young, a couple days is usually long enough considering their concept of time.

And I just wanted to reiterate another post that noted how you both approach it will be the biggest determining factor on how the kids handle it. Children can read the emotions of adults even when they use no words. Use this time to get yourself ready so that when it is close to the time to go, you are comfortable with it. If you are not, nothing you can do will make your kids comfortable with it.

A few suggestions that might make this easier:
1) if you have enough time before the trip, have your son stay overnight somewhere for one night away from you both. He'll have the experience but more importantly, so will you.
2) make a video tape (vcr/CD-Rom/DVD) of you and your husband talking to the kids, holding up some of the toys they can bring, talking in an excited voice about all the fun things they will be doing with the grandparents that your in-laws can play for the kids while you are gone. Maybe 5-8 minutes long. Don't focus on "I miss you, etc etc" but keep it upbeat, happy, excited and fun. You can tell them you love them and you are excited to see them soon. Just avoid anything sad or emotional that will tug at their hearts to be sad as well.
3) if you are comfortable with giving a special gift/toy in this situation, giving your in-laws a special gift they can give each child (from them not you), that might be one extra special touch and memory for your children they can take back with them when they come home.

These times away are so important for both the child's growth and independence and ours as parents learning to slowly separate over time.

Good luck and enjoy the trip with your high school sweetheart.

D.

To get my daughter excited about a trip to Nana and Papa's house I create a count down for her to do every morning when she gets up. You can make or print out a picture of a car and move it along the road, use road signs for the days to count down. I did this on a recent vacation, using clouds as the count down numbers and a plane that flew to each of them until it reached the sun. I also make sure I pack a photo album of all the things she loves (mom, dad, cat, house, her room, etc.) I'm sure the grandparents will have pictures of you around the house but this will add a little bit more comfort. I was nervous about leaving our daughter with my parents for the first time, they wanted her to spend a week. They had so much stuff planned for her to do she didn't even notice that we weren't there. Enjoy your time away from the kids, I know you will miss them dearly.

I would start getting them excited about it right away. Don't let them know that you have any doubts about it because they'll just feed off of that. Make it seem like it's something special for them that you think they are ready for. Be sure to send lots of things from home and make sure the Grandparents have some things planned to keep them busy. The more excited the kids are about what they are going to be doing, the easier it will be to let them go.
Make sure that you are prepared also. You need to know that they might cry when you leave and you need to be ok with that. Kids usually only cry for a few minutes and you stress about it for hours, LOL. Have his parents call you about a half hour after you leave them so you know that they are ok and not completely losing it :o)

J.

Telling them a few days prior to your trip should give them some time to get used to the idea. Let them choose a couple of special items to bring to make them feel comfortable. You can tell them how special & fun it will be to spend time with grandma & grandpa. I agree with the other mom about calling too frequently it usually makes them upset. Enjoy your trip! This will be good for you & your kids!

H.:

With us, it depends on the child. We have one who needs to know of events a long term ahead of time so he can adjust and one who can't know ahead of time or he'll work himself up into fit and never calm down. We have to kind of spring things on him. Whatever you decide, I would suggest not making too huge of a deal out of it and just treat it matter of factly. Pack up some of their favorite things from home - blanket, toys, whatever they especially like and make sure your parents have your kids' favorite foods on hand. There might be tears one of the nights, too. I also found that the more I call on my kids while they are away from us the more difficult it is for them after I call - they're reminded again that I'm not there.

Have fun on your trip.

- M.

http://www.theSmartSeedsCompany.com

The SMARTseeds Company is dedicated to providing parents with meaningful ways to interact with their children through literature, music, art, poetry, toys and games.

make a little photobook that they can look at if they get lonesome. this worked for my daughter when she was left at grandmas when we took a vacation. also, the little presents are nice. and, make sure to leave extra money so the grandparents can get special things like ice cream, mcdonalds, etc and do special things like the zoo or chuck e cheese. its their vacation too, so make sure they get to do some special things!

We are the grandparents of a 16-month-old. Because she has never been a great sleeper, we have had her frequently overnight since she was three weeks old.....and love it!!! It has been such a great way to really know her. One thing I have tried to do as she has changed sleep patterns and (in her own little way) concerns is to imitate her home sleep pattern as much as possible. This has ranged from using the same blanket to sleeping in a spare bed with her to now making a bed on the floor by our bed. Many times she would sleep better for me than her parents!!

I would suggest you start talking about it in advance and make it seem like something really special and exciting. If your son needs stability, inform the grandparents of the details of his bedtime routine and the familiar will also help him be comfortable. In addition, maybe they will have something special he likes that happens only in the routine at grandpa and grandma (whether a book, bedtime treat, stuffed animal to sleep with or whatever). If he loves going to his grandparents generally my guess is that it won't be as traumatic for him as for mom and dad!!

We also raised four kids and took frequent weekends away. Our kids loved going to grandma and getting the undivided attention and love. So go and enjoy your trip! They will be fine and it will be a healthy thing for yours and your husband's relationship as well.