Leaving Baby Overnight

she'll be fine! littles are usually way more okay with these things than their moms<G>. and how wonderful for her to get some totally one-on-one time with her grandma.
go and have fun.
:) khairete
S.

she'll be fine, especially if it's at her house. I've never left my dd overnight (she's 4) but I know if I needed to, she'd be fine with either my MIL or my aunt.

GO to the wedding! I left my son for the first time when he was 17 months (while I had my 2nd child) and I was so worried about it, more concerned than the birth, but the kid didn't even miss me. He had a great time with his grandpa. She will love the attention from grandma and just be sure to write down her routine so it's not too much of a change.

Oh my gosh, go to the wedding!
Your daughter will be just fine with your mom.

Just have a couple of cocktails on the plane.

GO TO THE WEDDING! Trust me, it will do you and your husband a lot of good to have some time away from being Mommy and Daddy. Your daughter will be fine and grandma will create her own little routine with the grandbaby (they always spoil them).

I don't know how far away your mom is, but maybe she could do a trial of the bedtime routine while you and hubby go out for dinner some time before the wedding.

Your daughter will be fine. Yes, she'll miss you. Will it cause lasting trauma? Nope. I think we convince ourselves it's so hard on our babies because it is hard on us. Go to the wedding!! It's only for a few days, and you and your husband need the time to reconnect.

Congratulations, J.!

You are about to undergo a very needed "rite of passage." That is, leaving your baby with someone else for the first time!

Trust me. It's harder on you than on the child. Kids are extremely adaptable.
She'll be fine.

My advice: Go to the wedding. And please DON'T talk about your daughter the whole time. Be nice to the other guests. Flirt with your husband-- a lot. He needs the attention.

While you're there achieve some non-kid-related goals, such as take a walk in the California sunshine every day and notice at least five new plants. Or take some photos of some local famous CA landmarks.

There are a lot of moms out here who have to leave their kids with others at ages much younger than 17 months. Life is busy and tough, and kids need to be able to handle it.

please go! with my first, he never stayed over anywhere but when i had my second i left them with my husband for the weekend and i couldn't believe how rejuvenating it was for me. now i have three, and i have left them with my mom for two separate weekends. it is so nice to reconnect with the hubby! the last time that i left them, my youngest was 15 months (and still nursing). she got a really bad cold while she was gone and that was hard for me, but i knew my mom was perfectly capable of taking care of her (she did raise me and my siblings after all!).

even if it is rough on you and/or her, as long as you know that she is in good hands you don't need to worry. it will be good for both of you, and for grandma too!

I certainly think you should attend the wedding. I would recommend having your DD do some sleep-overs though before-hand. This will "train" her to know even though Mommy & Daddy leave, they always come back. It will also give you some adjusting time. I know you are saying now you can handle it & while I'm sure that's true, it's not as easy as you may think. Guaranteed tears. LOL! Good luck & have a GREAT trip!

Go and enjoy yourself!!! Your daughter will be fine. It is smart to have your mom coming to your house so your daughter will be in her familiar surroundings. She will miss you, but I bet will have a great time with Grandma. It is good for you and your husband to get away on your own once in a while. How nice that you have your mother to watch your daughter. :) It will help them build a closer bond. Since my kids were babies (they are now 7 and 5) we have had my parents come and stay with them once a year while my husband and I take a trip somewhere. My daughters now have a super-close relationship with my parents which I think is awesome!!

Go. Your BIL will be way more hurt if you don't go than your daughter will be if you do. It might be a little tough on her, but children are incredibly resiliant little people. There is absolutely no way on earth that a couple days away can undermine the loving, committed relationship that you have built up over the past 17 months. It's not possible.

Talk to her about how fun it will be (even if you think she doesn't understand). She will probably be spoiled by your mom, which will be fun. Be okay with that too. Children really have no sense of time. The difference between you living your daughter with your mother for 24 hours or 48 hours or 72 hours is not significant.

Here's the other thing: clearly your husband has gone away for a few days. I assume that it's for work, but it could also be for fun. Either way, I am pretty confident that you still think that your husband is a caring father, who hopefully has a very good relationship with his daughter. Why would you be any different? Sure, she might get cranky for a little bit, but I presume that she bounces back when he returns. She'll do the same for you.

Have a good time at the wedding. The separation will be good for all of you.

It's good for you to have a break and your mom will love having her...she'll be just fine. Go and enjoy yourself!

J.

You should totally go! It seems super scary now, but seriously once you land the plane you will be relieved, happy, and your baby will be fine! I assume she sees your mom a lot? THat will make it easier. She will be happy and loved and honestly, will be perfectly okay! I do agree that if possible, have her stay the night at grandmas once or twice before then just to ease both of you into it, but even if you don't, it will be okay.

I'm having doubts about a trip we're taking too without the kids. My youngest will be 17 months at the time too. We've booked our trip though so that it's harder to back away from it! I mentioned it to my neighbor, kind of jokingly said, "I don't know if I'll be able to leave them." She said, "The best gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage. Go, and have a great time." I'm going to think about that when I leave for a few days away- we deserve the time! Have fun at the wedding!

Have your mom stay with her granddaughter. It'll be good for you all! =)

When my sister did something similar to this (she and her husband went on a 10 day vacation it was her first time away from her daughter over night) our mom stayed at the house for a few days beforehand so our she and my niece could get more comfortable with each other. My mom took over things like the bedtime routine and feeding so my niece would be used to her doing those when my sister left.

It'd also be a good idea to introduce your mom to people around you who your daughter is used to and has fun being around. (That way she has stuff to do and isn't home bound the entire time)

Everyone needs a break, and if you don't leave your daughter now, you'll just do it later. Try not to make a huge deal of it (I know it's hard), but just remind her "mom and dad are going to see some friends and you get to stay her and play with grandma and have so much fun! We'll be back soon (we always come back)."

Phone calls are nice, but skype or iChats can be tough for you both because sometimes you'll find that your daughter will sit by the computer and ask for you (and it breaks your heart). (My daughter did that when I had to go to away for three weeks).

Go! Have a good time. It's good for moms and kids to get a break. She'll have a blast with grandma with all the extra attention they love to give. Enjoy the wedding, becuase who knows when your next break like this will be!

Of Course you should go. Your the one with the problem here. Don't pass your worries off on your daughter. Your mother raised you & is toatally capable of handling this situation. Go & have fun. Your child can only be more well rounded by spending time with other kinds of people & seeing different situations in life. It'll work out fine & do you a world of good.
Kari Amettis

I would go. It will be harder on you then her and good for her to bond with mom and you with your friends/family.

I think you should be able to go. Have backup help available to relieve your mother if she is having a hard day. I was told to leave a little picture book for your daughter to look at pictures of you and your husband with her to help comfort her while you are gone. Enjoy the time. You are very fortunate to have a family member that is willing to care for her while you are away.

If she knows your Mom well... it should be fine. And if she IS comfortable with your Mom.
Your Mom seems to handle her well?
And respect your routine for her?
Tell your Mom of your routine for her... and see if your Mom can 'duplicate' that. Even at bedtime and morning.

Maybe your Mom can do a trial run?
have her come over one weekend and you show her and she do it.

I wouldn't do it, but that's me. If you really want to go, you should probably do a few "test runs" first, and have her stay with your mom just for an overnight a few times so she understands that even when you're gone for what will seem to HER like a long time, you will come back.

Can't you bring her with? I guess, in our family, either the children go or no one goes! :)

It would be hard but if you really want to go then go. The first night will be the hardest on your daughter, but she will be fine. Call her everyday and be ready to go home early if needed. The most I have ever left my 4 year old is 2 nights, he had a hard time the first night but the second night he was much better. I also found if I don't call him at bedtime or naptime (which is very hard for me to not say goodnight, but its not about me) he is much better (he's already tired at bedtime so emotions are much higher).

Good luck and do what your heart tells you to do.

Go! She will be fine. If you really are concerned about it, you could always just stay gone two nights, so its only one full day that she doesn't see you. We have left ours several times, and they are always fine. It is especially good that your mother is coming to your house. That seems to be the most comfortable for the kids, especially when they are very young.

Your daughter will be fine if you go but I know I couldn't do it. As a matter of fact I planned to go to Bermude w/ my GF's for my 40 birthday. My 6 yo was just so upset I couldn't do it. I know she would have been fine and well taken care of but I just could not have enjoyed myself knowing the turmoil I caused her. There is still only such a short period of time that she will care at all if I am around so for now I will be here. Do you think you will be able to enjoy yourself without seeing her for a few days? Have you considered bringing her with you assuming her uncle is OK with it?

I left my daughter for two nights to go on a business trip when she was around 18 months. She was at her day care, which is part of her routine, and with her Dad, while I was gone. Leaving her at day care felt like ripping my heart out, but she did not cry or pine for me while I was gone. She was a little cool with me for about half a day after I came back and after that everything was fine.

This year I was supposed to go on another trip. I cancelled the trip because my daughter was in a different place, developmentally, and I felt it might be damaging to our relationship if I went. I don't know that it would have, but I was not willing to take that risk.

You have to judge based on your child's temperament and routine. If she is rarely cared for by anyone else, it might be harder. If she already knows and loves Grandma, it might be fun, and your saving grace might be talking up how much fun she's going to have with Grandma.

Good luck. It's a hard decision to make.

Go on vacation and have fun!! I'm sure you deserve it. Kids are more flexible than we give them credit for and at this age they don't have much concept of time and won't realize how many days you are away. I was in a similar situation about a year ago and posted a question. Here is my question, responses and my "how it went". Hope it helps!
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/2968945069379354625

I have 3 kids - ages (now) 2, 3.5 and 6. It is always hard as a parent to leave our kids. But they will always adjust, and do so MUCH more easier than we think they will. It is harder on us than it is ever on them. And sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking they need us (and only us and no one else on earth) to have fun and be happy. It just isn't true. Sometimes it is even hard to imagine our kids having fun with grandma (or whoever) and not "missing us" because we are somewhere missing them. They do love us even when we are out of sight, and they do miss us but will adjust much better than we do.

When we, as parents, start to think we can't leave our kids' sides, even for a few days, we (IMHO) run the risk of not supporting our kids in separating and becoming their own person. They need this to grow into the little (and eventually big) people they will one day need to be. Whether it is preschool, a play date, kindergarten, camp, college or adulthood - this is a skill we have been gifted the opportunity to teach our children.

And as an added bonus - you will get special time with your husband and that relationship strengthening is a bonus to share with your daughter.

If you think/feel you can't be away "unconnected" (and I get that, trust me), consider Skype, Facetime (iPod, iPad, iPhone), leaving photos of you both, or recording a VCR video tape of you talking to her, reading to her, etc. I have had to or wanted to leave on trips ranging from 1 day to 10 days from my kids and have used all of the above. When they were young like your 17 month old, we recorded a 5-7 minute video tape of us talking to our son, reading his favorite book, etc. Grandma played it for him several times a day. It was perfect. I leave for Greece in May and just bought iPods for me and them and will use Facetime video talk to keep connected with them while I am gone.

Good luck. It really is harder on us (because we over-think it) than it ever is on them.

Go, have fun. And be happy that your daughter will have fun with grandma too.

D.

Go for it if you really, really, really want to attend the wedding. Your daughter might just push you out the door. LOL Sometimes kids are not as attached as we think they are. Besides you have total trust in your mother, right? Someone else might be a different story. This could be the beginning of future short trips.

Would it be possible to bring your mom and daughter with you? That way you don't have to be seperated for so long, but your mom can still watch the baby while you are busy with wedding stuff. Having Mommy and Daddy around might be more comforting to her than sleeping in her own bed. You can still keep the routine wherever you go.

I am certainly in the minority on this one, but my husband and I left our DD overnight with my parents when she was 3 weeks old. Yes, it was hard, but since then (she is only 7 months old now) she has stayed overnight with them about 5 or 6 more times. She loves her grandma & grandpa time and my husband and I enjoy our one-on-one nights. She is a well adjusted child and while some people would scoff at us for leaving her overnight with someone else so early it works for us.
So please, go to the wedding and have a blast! Will it be hard? Probably so, but she will adjust and so will you.

hmm if you can see that your mom can be trusted with the kid why not. trusted means she can handle your baby.. if she can make her stop crying and pacify her when she's having temper tantrums...

personally i would never leave my DD, i know she's getting too attached with me but I am her mom so i guess its okay... one time i left her with her dad sure i missed her..

i understand your concerns!! i STILL dont like leaving my FOUR year old with other people, even for the day! (thankfully i only work part time and grandma is nearby)
she is 17 months, and she will be fine. babies much younger than her are left and they survive. i wouldnt do a lot of calling home, and especially dont try to talk to her on the phone you know? i mean, you can call ONCE a day to check on her with your mom, but dont talk to her on the phone! LOL thats confusing to a kid that small.

but anyway, you can do this. its heartwrenching, i know, but you will have a GREAT time, and it will be great for your marriage to have some kid-free time. trust me, im not one to encourage separations between kids and moms/parents, but once in a while isnt going to do anything but recharge you! :) she will miss you but your mom will be there for her, and she will be distracted most of the day and she will be fine. :):)

so just go. :) trust me, you wont regret going. and you will have a great time, and your daughter will get some awesome fun time with her grandma. i remember when i was a kid spending a week with my grandparents, and it was a blast! so no worries. she wont forget you, she will miss you but she will be ok. :):)

Go to the wedding! My kids love nothing more than sleepover with mommom and poppop. She will be just fine!

Please go to the wedding. I noticed one responder say she couldn't go on a trip because her 6-year-old threw a fit. That's EXACTLY what you don't want to happen in 4 years - that your daughter can't stand to be away from you because you've never left her before. I have friends and family members who have never left their kids with anyone else, and trust me that the kids have a much harder time going off to preschool, kindergarten, overnight birthday parties, etc, etc, etc.

Little trips away are good for everyone - your husband, your daughter, and you. Your husband and you will have a great time reconnecting, and your daughter will get some quality time with Grandma. Enjoy your trip!

Go Go Go! This is good for everyone involved. And don't feel guilty! It's a good thing, and everyone gets a break. Your daughter will have a great time with grandma, and prob will not notice you are gone!

I haven't read the other responses so I don't know what you have gotten so far. With my son I did not leave him until he was 3 (multiple reasons one being if I left him with one grandmother the other would get mad and we love and trust both sets equally) and when we finally left him it was way easier on him than it was on me. I feel that I should have left him earlier. Now my DD I had no choice but to leave her for 3 nights when she was 7 months old. I was hospitalized and had to have emergency surgery, my husband wanted to be with me, so he kept the kids the first night, then took them to our parents 1 hour away (the grandmothers each took one night each). Both did great and barely noticed we were gone.... My daughter had to have some formula rather than only breastmilk as she was used to and that didn't even bother her. What I am saying is you are keeping everything as easy as possible for her and if you want to go to the wedding then go. Your mom will be with her and you know she will be fine.

It's hard to say how your daughter will be with your mom without knowing your daughter's personality and how kid-friendly your mom is. Your daughter may fuss a little bit (or she may not - not all kids do) but, if she does, your mom should be able to distract her and direct her to some fun activities to get her mind off the fact that mom and dad are not there. Fun babysitters usually equal happy kids. What I would suggest is having your mom arrive at your house a day or two before you leave for California so that there is a transitional period before you leave. I would also start collecting a basket of new books, toys and activities that grandma can pull out after you have left. The new stuff will give her enough of a distraction and help her feel that it is cool to hang out with grandma while mom and dad aren't there. I wouldn't go into debt buying a lot of expensive things -- maybe you can get a new coloring book and some crayons, a music CD for them to dance to together, some playdough accessories, some board books from the library, or whatever you can figure out. I think if you were to do something like this, it would really make your daughter happy while you are gone and give grandma some ideas to do while you are gone.

Another thing you may want to consider is taking daughter with you to California and having grandma meet you there (that will mean booking an extra hotel room for her) so that she can babysit your daughter while you are at the wedding but daughter won't be so far away that you won't be able to enjoy yourself. It's a little bit more of an expense but maybe one worth considering.

Either way, I hope that you have a safe and fun trip out to California and that everything works out well for you and your family.