Leaving Baby and Toddler for One Month

We have to do, what we have to do. If you feel like you could handle it, I would go for it! The kids will be fine, it's us adults that have a hard time adjusting. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

J., i applaud you.
take the job. you're not leaving your kids with strangers. you're not dumping them somewhere. you have everything planned, but i 'feel' you think your babies will forget you. they won't. they'll recognize you right away. you're doing this for your family.
if you were to say listen i need a month getaway for myself, uhm, and well, i just do, then you're selfish.
this is the most unselfish thing i have heard in a while.
do not venture out in streets by yourself. wash hands. get loaded with purell, sleep when you can sleep. eat, and take care of yourself. healthy mom means healthy family.
my american mom went there with the medical team. she always goes when there is a natural disaster. that is how i met her and she became my american mom.
love people like you.

I think this is a difficult decision, but I'd say go for it. When my kids were 6 mos and 3, I took my 6 mos old to India with me for 2 weeks. Two weeks is not nearly 1 month, and I did get to take the nursing child along. But yes, my 3 year old didn't really even notice we were gone. He was thrilled to have me home when I returned, but life was basically where we left it. I don't think your 8 month old will notice. Well, sure your baby will notice, but your baby will also take you back. As you probably know from the first, between 8 and 9 months their breastmilk requirements start dwindling, so you should be fine if you are able to continue pumping or wet nurse. My parents loved the bonding time with the kids. It sounds like a spiritually good thing - being able to help others, a financially good thing - 5 months of salary!, and an interesting trip. I'd go for it. Your family will be fine and adapt.

It sounds like a fantastic opportunity!!! A "made for" solution, and every way you look at it comes up good. As Lola said, I applaud you.

Yes you will miss you children (and feel guilty for not missing them, because there will be times when you don't and realize "Yikes!!!")... but they will not only be there when you return, but they will have gotten do deepen their relationships with other people who love them. The human heart is an amazing thing.... the more love that's given, the more that's capable of being given. As opposed to time, where you've only got a finite amount, the human heart is extraordinary. Your relationship doesn't lack as they form deeper attachments to others... it grows instead. Pretty durn cool.

Both of my parents traveled when I was little & growing up. In many many cases we came with them. In others, we stayed with my grandparents, or cousins, etc. (My dad was gone on average 6 months a year, my mum AND dad, 1). The times where I could come with my parents was extraordinary, and the times where I got to stay with family was extraordinary. I've both travelled with my own kiddo and left him in the loving care of my mum. DH has left for several months at a time... and that's only increased the bond he has ((throwing hugs up up up through the ceiling into the sky, over the atlantic....)). Babies are excited on your return... but their sense of time isn't very linear. Being gone for several weeks -if they're in loving care- can be just as traumatic as being gone for 5 minutes... aka not very.

It sounds like you've been offered an amazing gift. If it feels right... take it!

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My parents left me with friends when I was less than 1 year for almost 3 months to go on vacation in Italy (this was before disposable diapers) and I do no recall anything about that time since my earliest memory is at about age 4. Go for it, pat yourself on the back for finding a not-so-simple solution for your financial situation as well as aiding others. Your kids will be fine, you may miss them or feel guilty more than they. Good luck.

WOW... everyone is struggling financially. I am, asingle mom of three children living pay check to pay check and having absolutely NO SAVINGs. New car (we needed it), private school (public school in my area not sooo good) and only making about 32,000/yr trust I understand you but if you have never been away from them it will be even that much harder on you, the babies and the your husband. If I was you (my opinion) I would pass it up and maybe take a part-time night job, work from home or maybe use some of your savings (that's what they are for).

Family is all us mothers got and my children are the reason why i get up every morning and come to work and no matter how bad it gets I know that I will get through it even if i have to cut coupons, make a meal plan, no eatting out, no unnecassary shopping, no starbucks :),generic household products (food not so much)...

You can do it...

Whatever you decide good luck

I think that you have a great oppertunity to really help out people in great need. You have thought through the ligistical matters pretty well and your children will miss you and you will miss them.
But...My real concern would be for your safty. Will you be in a safe environment? Your children will need you to come home safly and with a healthy mind. It could also be very emotionally tramatizing to see all of the death and destruction.
I am not saying that I don't think that you shouldn't go I just think that you need to think about these these things and talk them over with you husband!
Many Blessings, K.

First, just a reminder because I ALWAYS forget this when I am faced with major decisions -- don't forget to pray about it.

Second, do what you feel is best. If you feel it is the wisest choice to go, then don't worry that you are being a bad mother, because, in my opinion, you are not. I would do it. I would cry the entire time I was away from my kids, but I would still do it. It's important that your family is financially stable, and stress from being deep in debt could affect your kids also; so I say do what you can to help your family.

One month might seem like a long time, but people in the military leave for 6 month tours all the time and their kids survive, and your kids will still have dad.

Just make sure you leave them all kinds of things to help them remember you and to know you are thinking of them (like notes, special rituals - like looking at the moon to say goodnight to you every night, videos, tape-recordings of you reading stories, etc).

And in response to your concern about the 8 month old - it is probably the three year old that will stress the most. We adopted our daughter at 11 months and she was thrilled to be with us from day one. I'm sure the baby the will bounce back, and the 3 year old already has a firm relationship with you -- she'll just miss you a lot.

Hi J.,
I would take the job your not only helping yourself and your family but your helping the people in Haiti. I have kids and it would be hard for me to leave my kiddos for so long but if it was going to help me and my family out financially I would go for it. Of course being a mom its always going to be hard to leave them but it's not like your leaving just to get away. A night time job is ok but I wouldnt like it if it meant i couldnt see my hubby. Your babies wont forget you your their mother and probably the most important person in their lives =) Well good luck on your decision!!

You have to do what you think is best for your family and what you can live with. When faced with a difficult decision, I always make the old pros and cons list. Something about seeing it all written out always makes my decision easier. I have to disagree on one thing you said. I think it will be harder on your 3 year old than it will on your baby. I do not think she will understand your reasons for going, except for the part about helping others. With the love and support of your husband and grandparents, I'm sure she will adjust though. Good luck with your decision and be safe!