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I understand. Try to get a break. Would the MIL take them overnight?
Even one night might be the break you need and deserve.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for them is to plan time for yourself. Many of my weekend kids only come to me 3-4 times per year. One of my moms comes to me every other weekend for her regular time away. It's necessary to take care of you. If you don't, you have nothing left for them.

People ask me all the time how I can have kids 7 days per week, 24 hours per day. It's because I have learned how to manage them and manage me at the same time. I don't have to interact with them every single second. So long as they are well taken care of, I can do for me too.

By the way, I'm not that far from Lenexa. No, I'm not in California. LOL If you and your husband ever need a weekend away, I charge 150 dollars for both children from Friday night to Sunday night :) That's 48-50 hours of glorious mommy daddy time. It's WELL worth it.

Oh yes. There have been days where I have wanted to lock myself in a quiet room and pretend nothing else existed. There was also one time when I was about 5 seconds away from driving 6 hours to my parents house and dropping my son off for a week because I was so frustrated. It's tough not having help, especially if you have a sick child. Every parent is going to have those moments. You understanding that and trying to cope with it means that you are definitely not a horrible mom! Hang in there. Things will get better!

What do you mean, you don't feel depressed. Depression can take on many forms; anger, exhuation, lethargy, sadness, or any emotion that threatens to overwhelm you. Talking is great, but consider talking to a couselor (your church is a good place to look). I've seen too many people think of depresion as a dirty word and let it get to the point of hurting their entire family before seeking help instead of nipping it the bud.

Ah, the wonderful world of motherhood...

I wonder if there is anyone on this site that doesn't identify with what you've written! But it won't always be like this.

Your children may be suffering from your husband's absence as well as you. When mine were growing up, my husband didn't have to go out of town, but his job sometimes demanded his undivided attention. At those times, my children would go crazy, and sometimes I would too.

I'm assuming that you can't call a sitter for a few hours and get away (a good remedy for this sort of stress), even to take a much-needed nap. So try something else. Right now, go look at your kids. Just look at them. Don't think about what happened the last few days, or what might happen tomorrow, or what's for supper tonight. Just look at your kids.

Tonight you can tell them that you love them, because you do. Tomorrow, whatever it may bring, is a whole new day "with no mistakes in it," as some writer said. Some mistakes will show up as the day goes on, but they're still your kids, and you still love them.

Yes, I feel like a horrible mother sometimes. My mom has been visiting for 2 weeks, his schedule has been totally wacked out he's completely and utterly out of control and no amount of time-out or talking to him seems to help. I am terrified because we have to go out of town in 4 days for Thanksgiving and we will be staying with family for ten days so I won't have enough time to get him back on track before things get completely out of hand again. I feel frustrated with him, and I know it's not his fault. I'm pregnant and exhausted and I don't feel like I know how to regain control of the situation. My husband complains he can't find clean socks--daily, I drop the ball on things too often these days...my house is a wreck and I'm just not sure where to begin on things which only adds to my frustration. The only thing I know for sure is that things weren't always this way and they will get better. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, take care of people first and things second. Just try to stay positive. It's a tough time for a lot of people and that's kind of comforting to know that I 'm not the only one who feels like I'm drowning.

Honey,

You are not alone. I've had one or two moments where I just want to lock everyone out and run away and yes, sometimes you do feel resentment toward your family and it's really not them, it's just you being overwhelmed and needing a time out.

The best thing you did was cry. That's a tension reliever and now that you are feeling guilty, just go hug your children or listen to something inspirational so that you can gain focus and be the 'good" mommy again!

EVERY good Mom feels like a horrible Mom from time to time............ it's part of the job! I can't tell you how many times I have felt like you, and would wonder if it was just me or if other Moms felt this way sometimes. I would see other Moms I knew who seemed to have it "all together" and then look at myself in the mirror with my hair in a baseball cap and no make up on, and wearing jeans and a baggy t shirt, and wonder what was I doing wrong? I had no time to keep the house cleaned like I used to, or keep up with the laundry that was piling up, but after I got to know those other Moms and their kids, I quickly found out, they were more like me than I knew. They had houses with laundry folded on the couch for days, or dirty laundry waiting to be done for days, and toys scattered around. They made time to do their hair and make up, but their kids didn't get their bedtime stories, or have the home cooked breakfast that mine did. We all have our own schedules to keep, and the way we do it is different from all of the other Moms around us. (or most anyway) We all have moments when we feel like the worst parents in THE WORLD, and when we simply want to run away from it all. It may come at different times for each of us, but we all have it. The real question is................. how long does it last? If it lasts for too long, then I would suggest talking to someone. Parenting is hard. Parenting while working full time is hard. (I won't say harder, because I have done both and find them equally difficult) If your feelings don't go away after a bit of a break, and please find a way to give yourself one because you DO deserve it, then you could be in need of someone to talk to. As parents, we have such a huge load of responsibility, and with that are so many challenges. Of course people can become depressed with that. I do not think depression is something that makes you weak, or sick, or honestly labels you anything other than tired and overwhelmed. If talking to someone can make you feel better, why not? I don't think that's what you need right now though. I think you need a long bath, a glass of wine or whatever beverage you like, a good book, and some real "me time". You miss your man, and you need to be allowed to give yourself a little time for you, not as a Mom or wife even, but as a person. I hope you find your peace and get some time for yourself. Good luck!

It is SO NORMAL to feel this way that it almost makes you wonder how we all actually survive it.
It's because it's generally temporary. Might last a little longer than you care for it too, but something WILL change things up just in time to keep your sanity.
Trust me.
Been there done that, still doing it.

Dear M.S.
You are not alone. I am a relatively new momma, but I go through similar yet different stuff at times. I am learning that being a mom also raises unsettled emotional issues that have nothing to do with our children, but need tended to nonetheless. The outcome is sometimes we need to take time and nurture ourselves so we can go back and try to be the mother we want to be. Imperfections and all. Does that make sense???

There are times, when I will pop in a curious george dvd and get into bed for 20-40 minutes and read a book or read a book while my son watches tv. Sometimes i just need that space for myself....There is nothing wrong with that.
I hope this helps a bit.
Jilly

Simple answer, yes!

I have hated myself and had to put myself in check for being an unpleasant mom.