Knocking?

Hi B.-

I always knock...and wait for a 'come in' or for them to physically answer the door.

It is what I expect them to do for me...and each other...

Best Luck!
michele/cat

I knock before entering to show my kids that I respect their privacy and space. However, I don't wait longer than a few beats before entering. My kids are 8 and 5, so I rarely encounter a closed door. When I do, I know they're needing privacy, so I respect that.

Sure I give a little knock if the door is closed. Most kids don't want to get caught in an embarrassing situation by their mom, like, say, dancing in front of a mirror in their underwear! It's just good manners not to barge in on someone, even a child deserves an allowance of privacy and respect :)

I knock and usually wait for her to say "come in" or open the door, but if she doesn't do either one within about 20 seconds, then I will open the door.

I do trust her completely. She's never doing anything wrong/bad but she is 10 and starting to become modest so I don't want to burst in when she's dressing/undressing.

My mother NEVER knocked on our door. I think it is a sign of respect. I want her to respect my privacy when my door is closed so I model that by respecting her privacy when her door is closed.

I knock and say her name. Then I wait for her to say , yes, come in, or hold on..
She does the same for us..

It is funny that your trust issue is food in their rooms, I thought you were going to say drugs, smoking or something..

We just closed the door if we did not want to see the mess in her room.

If a door is closed, I expect them to knock. But if one of their doors is closed, I do a "knock an dwalk right in." At 8 and 4, they haven't caught on yet. My perspective is that it's my house and I'm the adult. But truth is when I get called on it, I will probably start behaving unless I feel I can't trust them. In which case we will do an "open door" policy, meaning, "please leave your door open."

Depends upon how much respect you want to give to your kids.

none of my kids actually shut the door while in their room ( their choice). But I still knock as I'm walking in or atleast say their name before entering.

If their door is actually closed ( very rare) then of course I wait until they say its ok to come in because what ever they are doing they wanted privacy or I say it through the door.

I knock and I wait until I hear a response before I go in.

I would expect my daughter to show me the same respect.

Model the behavior you want your children to have.

My boys share a room and pretty much the only time the door in shut is when they are sleeping or when I have shut it or told them to shut it. We are not a go in your room and close your door kind of family. Our bedroom door is very rarely closed.

We have an open door unless you are getting dressed deal in our home.
If the children's door is closed everyone will know that the children are getting dressed so wait (I tend to just enter the room with one knock), if our door is closed durning the day it is because we are talking or dressing and yes the children must knock and wait for an answer. Other than that the children's doors to the bedroom are not closed until it is bed time.

My son's door is usually open, so I go in. We are also working on teaching him about knocking and waiting. If he has a door closed, I do knock, but if there's no answer after a minute, I do go right in.

Door always stays open when friends are here.

I would also not allow food in the rooms. It's for the table. If the food-sneaking was going on, I'd likely revoke his next 'treat day'. (We have three a week. Eliminates a lot of whining/negotiating.) If we continued to have problems with it, I'd likely banish the snacks from the house for a while. If I can't trust you to ask first and keep in the kitchen, we can't have it in the house. Painful for the short term, helpful in the long run.

I imagine that I will knock and wait, but I'll expect an immediate response. Of course, with my stepson I rarely enter his room when he's in it. He's now 18.

Regarding the trust issues, with my stepson I toss his room. I respect his privacy, but I have found dishes under the bed, Coke cans dripping on the floor or in the mesh wastebasket with no liner, some of my things tucked away (not underwear or anything like that). He knows that he's not supposed to eat or drink upstairs, so that's how I find out.

Mine are little kids so I just walk into their rooms. Once they are older I will probably knock and wait.

I only knock once they are old enough to earn privacy. The only reason why my 5yrold's door is closed is because the young dog (15mo) likes to run in and steal leggos from him. So, if it were not for the younger dog still learning that issue his door would be open.

on my child's door i knock and walk in. but for the bathroom i knock and wait for him to say come in!!

My son just turned 16, and he asked me about a year ago to knock before I enter. So I do. He has reached the age where he feels the need for privacy and I concur.

I do still have a rule about his not locking the door. We had a large discussion about that last year and I told him if he locks me out then I would remove the door. Eh, knocking is a compromise that works for us.

As for you situation, I think I would make them keep their rooms neater, put up baby gates to prevent the little one from getting in, and tell them closing their door is a privilege that they can earn and that also comes with age.

I knock, but if I suspect misbehavior is going on I count backwards from 5 and then open the door if he hasn't. That seems to be a reasonable time to answer the door but not enough time to hide something.

i knock and then go in if she doesnt yell WAITTTTTTTT, but she's 5 so it doesnt really matter if I walk in. Ussually her doors open unless friends are there, so if friends are over I like to give them privacy and knock and wait.

I don't have an answer to your exact question, but I do have a suggestion for you so the knocking won't be an issue in the first place. I would buy a baby gate for each of your older children's bedrooms. They have to keep the doors open with the gate, so you have the view that you need, and it will be safe for your younger child. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Interesting question, and I realized we do not knock before entering. The only place this is true is the bathroom. Not for any reason other then we have an open door policy in our house, this includes mine and the husbands room (we have a lock on the door, no worries about walking in when they shouldn't).

So I asked my 20 year old about it and she said it never mattered. They weren't doing anything wrong and it was normal for us.

I guess it just boils down to how *you* want to do it.