Kindergartener Is Not Sharing

She is old enough to know about consequences. I'm sure that if you let her know that if she doesn't share, she can't have friends over (and then following through)she will get it. It's something that they do in school. I also feel like the kids need to work it out on their own. Even if it's at a disadvantage to your child (i.e. having no friends to play with). Does she share with your 3 year old? That is usually a good indication that the child "gets it" and is making a choice to not share.

Is this the same child that before didn't want to have play dates? Maybe she just doesn't *want* a lot of friends/playdate/togetherness time. I was a loner as a child. It's not the worst thing in the world.

I had a problem like this when my son went to play with an older cousin. His cousin has tons of toys, legos, etc., but is an only child and not used to sharing. He did not want my son to touch ANY of his toys. Part of the problem is that he saw my son as a baby who would break his things.

So his mom and I asked him to find toys he would be willing to share. He found 1 stuffed animal, that was it. My son was very upset. So what I did was go out to the car and get a bunch of my son's own toys. Then his cousin got interested in them, and I was able to say my son will share his toys with you if you are able to share more of yours with him. It smoothed things over enough to survive the visit.
A couple years later when they played together, it was easier to find something they were both interested in without his cousin worrying he'd break things (taking apart a computer).

Does your daughter share well when she is somewhere else, like daycare or school and the things don't belong to her? What about playdates at the park, taking turns in games, or sports? Maybe she could help you plan ahead of time what choices of activities to have, specific toys that she wants to share, what snacks to serve, see if she can think of ways to make sure her guest has a good time. This sometimes works for my son because he likes to be "in charge".

some things kids need to work out on there own. i would let her figure this one out for herself. does she want friends or toys. i would also tell her that its not nice when we dont share and people want to be around nice kids. when said friend no longer wants to come over and play tell her why. also ask her how she feels when her friends do this to her?