Kindergarten Jitters

Do you know any kids that will be in his class? If so, set up a couple play dates so he sees some familiar faces when he walks in his new classroom. It will help the other kids, as well.

books: Miss Bindergarten gets ready for Kindergarten,, FIrst Day Jitters

Tell him stories of your kindergarten days. Tell him that sometimes you get nervous too even now that you're a grown up - that every body gets a little nervous when they are going into a new situation. Remind him that everyone in his class is going to be new to kindergarten - that it's going to be everyone's first day and they are all going to want to make new friends. If you have any current friends you knew back in grade school tell remind him of that. Show him a picture of yourself in kindergarten - ask your mom or MIL to tell him stories about you & your husband as 5 yr olds. I have vivid memories of not wanting to use the bathroom in kindergarten becuase I was certain that the kids could hear the tinkle-tinkle in the rest of hte classroom - so I would get off the bus, burst into the house and run for the bathroom! I was always proud of the times I didn't have to use the bathroom. Kids are so funny.

My son is going into 8th grade. One of his best friends is someone he met in kindergarten class! I met his mom at the Halloween class party!

I also assume that your school will have an orientation morning - where the kids come in with a parent and get familiar with the classroom and the teacher. Our school district always started Kindergartend the week after the 1-12 grades began. The had a day for small groups of kindergarten students and their parents to come in for a morning, tour the classroom, the playground & have a brief circle time. It gave the kids a lot of peace about their first day. If your school doesn't do that consider dropping in some day next week (drive by frequently and drop in when you see the Kindergarten classrooms have lights on). Teachers are often in their classrooms in this last week of August preparing and they welcome anxious kiddos.

Within 2 or 3 days your son will be fine and confident - encourage him, set up positive expectations "I know you are going to like this I think that after a few days you will be looking forward to this new school. I know you've been a little scared about stuff before and you always do really well! (remind him of a time when he overcame his fear) I know you'll do the same this time. I am eager to hear what you think about Kindergarten after the first week. What do you think you're going to say?" If he get panic-y let him bring a picture of you to put in his pocket. Or give him a special coin (a gold dollar coin?) tell him it's for him to keep in his pocket to remind how grown up he is, how special he is. And when the day is over he can either spend it or save it in a special place so he can look back at the big step he made that first day of kindergarten.

Good luck mama - this is often jsut as tough on us as it is on them! My husband (NYC police sergeant) was teary eyed as my daughter walked into her first day of school. (more than 10 years ago)

The best thing to do is for you to act like you're happy and excited about it. Kids draw a lot from our feelings or what they perceive them to be. He is probably anxious because he doesn't know what it will be, but when he gets there and gets started in the routine, it will be exciting. There are many kiddie books with kiddie characters starting kindergarten, and most likely, his teacher will read at least of them to the class on the first day. Your librarian can suggest some as well. If your son doesn't have a library card yet, now is the time for him to get one :)
I hope your son loves kindergarten!

Our K teacher insisted we drop the kids (as a class) off and leave on the first day. She said kids in the class and no parents allowed.

My daughter is very sensitive and jittery and I let Dad handle this one. He said the teacher meant it, as she stood in the doorway and let kids in and faced the parents saying goodbye. He said there were no issues, she went right in.

I would suggest letting whomever is the strongest take him. Then I suggest while you talk to him just letting him know how K was for you. Let him know that it is so scary and exciting all at the same time. Let him know you were afraid to as a child (maybe) and you found out it was fun.

I took my friends daughter ice skating during class time. She started to chicken out and ask what if she didn't want to do it. I just laughed and said you will and kept walking. I pretty much pointed to who she needed to see and walked away. I knew she was looking back at me and I just kept her in my peripheral, but looked in another direction. She fell a few times and got back up, but she was not enjoying it at this time. Then when they had to face the window and do an exercise she was trying to make eye contact with me and I ignored her. By the end of class she was skating and asked if I could bring her again.

I really feel if you sit there and hold him while he cries on the first day of class, you will regret it.

My son had been in the same preschool from age 2 until the Friday before he began Kindergarten last year. His baby brother was in the nursery in the same location - and was 6 months old. My big boy was devastated about not being able to see his baby when he went out to recess or one of the "specials" and that only 2 of his friends from preschool were going to the same elementary. When we got to elementary, the 2 were in the same class and he was in another one. But, he loved it!!! He loved his kindergarten teacher (possibly more than his Mama) and loved his elementary school and loved kindergarten! His teacher was amazing - she sent the kids postcards over the summer to let them know she was thinking of them and would see them in the fall and wouldn't it be exciting to be in first grade???

I was afraid after such a good kindergarten experience, that the bar had been set so high that he wouldn't like first grade. Nope! He says it is a lot more work but that means it isn't boring and he likes being in first grade and likes his teacher.

My whole family loved kindergarten - I volunteered in the school one afternoon per week, we all attended all of the events, even my baby (who is almost 2 now) loves elementary school. It is so exciting, tell him that he will like it as much as or more than preschool and that you will help him stay in touch with his preschool friends. We have had at least 4 preschool friend "reunions" and I think that has helped.

Good luck! Kindergarten is awesome! C.

This is normal. It is up to you and dad to set the tone.

Acknowledge his feelings, but let him know he is going to LOVE kindergarten!

His teacher will be great, he is going to meet lots of new kids. He will get to learn to read to write like a big kid. . He will have his own classroom! They get recess! It is going to be totally awesome.

Let him know what the school mascot is. He may meet some new friends from the neighborhood which means he can have playdates!

It is really very exciting for all of you. It is a change, a change for the good.

Hi, D.:
You son is grieving over the lost of his friends, etc.
Comfort him as if he has lost his best friend.
Let him verbalize his grief and let him know you understand
his sadness. Share some sad times you went through and how
you got through it.
Good luck.
D.

My son always did this. I would remind him about how he was worried about going to preschool, to soccer, etc., and that he ended up loving those things.

We took our son to college this week to start his freshman year. His eyes were misty when we hugged him goodbye. But he had a big smile, too. Enjoy your too brief time with your little boy!

The best thing you can do for your son is not to show any apprehension towards him leaving his daycare and/or starting school. Let him give a little trinket to his teacher if you want. If him attending on a non-school day is an option then tell him that he can go back to visit on day when school is out (or after school one day). Be upbeat about his growing up and moving on and how much fun he will have in K.

If you are apprehensive he will see and feel it and it will make it harder on him.

I don't have any advice. Just wanted to write you a "I'm in the same boat/ you have my sympathy" note. My son is leaving his beloved babysitter he started with when he was 8 weeks old. He will be starting Pre-K next week. She's sad, I'm sad and he's sad. It's a tough transition and he's very stressed. Our poor little guys. I just keep reminding myself that all kids go through it and come out the other side!!! Good luck w/the 1st day of school.

My daughter did the same thing when she moved to Kindergarten. She was seeing a therapist at the time for different issues. The therapist's suggestion was not to focus on what she was leaving behind but put it as this great priveledge that she gets to move to kindergarten. That her new teacher is specially prepared to teach older children and her old teachers have to stay behind to help the younger children. Point out that she will meet new friends her age that she can do more things with because they are older. It was still hard for her to move on, but focusing on the positive things of getting bigger did help. She didn't feel like she was losing everything but that she was becoming a big girl.

The best book we read, and still read a couple years later, is "Kindergarten Rocks!" It is about a little boy that is really nervous about kindergarten but his sister helps him get through his worries. Remind him that everyone there will be new just like him, that he will meet lots of friends and have lots of fun. Do not let him see that you are worried or sad in any way. We are somewhat going through this with our 8 yr old starting a brand new school this year. She is a very anxious child and this has rocked her world. The psychologist we consulted the other day told me to be overly positive, not to tell her I would miss her, just that she would have a great day and that I couldn't wait to hear about it when she got home, and to kiss her and send her on her way with no clinging. She said some kids do well with a little trinket that will remind them of mom or dad. A little boy in my son's K class last year had a picture of his mom and dad in his cubby that he would look at when he got teary. Unfortunately that makes things worse for my daughter, but it helps others.