Kinda Sad

I had my twins at 38, and I already had a 4yr old. I knew we were done at this point, but it was still a bit sad. As time goes on you will feel better about it. As the kids grow older we start to feel sad again, and when they move out, sad again. The joys of being a mom.

My hubby got the V when our now 15 yr old daughter was 2. We knew we were done when she was born. We felt complete as a family at that point and we've never looked back nor have we been regretful.

Neither of us felt sad when he had his V. We felt relief and freedom. The ultimate relief and freedom came when I had a complete hysterectomy and everything was final.

We've enjoyed every minute of being done. Who Hoo

I can understand that you and other moms might feel sad. It is ok to feel the way you do. You just have to make decisions that are right for your family and not worry about everything else.

I don't mean to increase your level of doubt, but I agree with the previous poster - you're still so young, why something so permanent right now? Maybe you could try an IUD for a few years, until there's no more "probablies" in your thought process?

I loved being pregnant. Other than getting huge (when I look at pictures, I'm not sure how I walked), I didn't have any issues. I loved feeling the baby move inside. However, I have very large babies, my smallest being 9 pounds born at 35 weeks. Just before we found out we were pregnant with number 3, my husband decided it was time to get rid of the baby things. I told him no. It had been 4 years with no birth control, we weren't trying but we weren't not trying either. I told him I wasn't ready. Not long after that I found out I was pregnant. During the pregancy, we both decided I would get my tubes tied. I knew I was going to have a c-section (babies are too large for my birth canal) so while they were there, it was just a little nip and cut. A couple of times I have felt sad about my decision but most of time I feel like it was for the best. I get less sad as I get older. My SIL was having blood clots and she was sad when she had her tubes tied. She is still sad sometimes but knows it was best-the blood clots could have killed her. She said that she gets less sad as she gets older too(she was 26 at the time). I think you should talk to your husband about how you feel, sooner rather than later, when It will be too late. You and your husband are the only ones that can make this decision . Listen to your heart and your body.

I'm going through that right now, though my husband hasn't scheduled the appointment with the urologist yet.

We never set a limit on how many we wanted. We're both from families of 3 children. 2 seemed to few for me, 4 seems too many for him, but 3 is awkward with someone always being left out.

We never expected me to be diagnosed with cancer after the birth of our second or a layoff almost a year ago that dropped our income substantially.

I'd still like another, and I have a green light from my Oncologist. I just don't know if it's smart. I don't want to possibly leave 4 people (3 children) needing me if something were to happen. On the flip side, we chose not to bank cord blood with either of our other children (never imagining we could possibly need the stem cells one day). I missed most of my daughter's first year because of chemo and memory loss from it.

So, in our case there are as many reason to have another child as there are not to have another child.

If your heart is really empty after a few months pass, maybe adoption is an option down the road.
Good luck! Love each of those kids as much as possible each and every day!

My cousin and her husband were positive they were done with 2. She hated being pregnant and her husband didn't want more than 2 kids either. So, when they had their planned c-section with the second (both girls), they had her tubes tied at delivery. (She was 30.) Now, their youngest is 18 months and they are BOTH regretting their decision. They want another baby. But it is expensive to get a reversal and no guarantee that it will work.

If you are even a little unsure, DON"T DO IT! You can put it off for a couple more months. Pray about it. Take your time making this decision with your husband. See if he is feeling the same way as you!

As a side note: I know lots of people who wish they would have had another baby, but I don't know anyone who says they wish they wouldn't have!

It's just life, and maybe a touch of PPD. Celebrate your happy healthy family in all it's ages and stages!

I have no idea if it will pass. I know my dad had his vasectomy when my mom was pregnant with my little sister (her third--my dad had kids from an earlier marriage). Even when my older sister was having her first child and my mom was in her 40s she had this "I could have another baby" feeling. For some, I don't think that will change. For others, there is real regret down the road. Your husband could wait a little longer so it is a decision you both make while looking back instead of right now, and also to give you both time to be more comfortable with it. We have agreed on 3 children as well (unless #3 is twins), but I told my husband we could still wait a bit in case he really wants to have more. I don't really want kids separated so much that we have a "second" family, but I don't like the idea of making that permanent decision so young. So...I think no matter the circumstances, when you think you are going through everything for the last time, it makes you very sad. Hang in there and love on your baby, other kids, and husband.

I haven't reached this point yet, but I used to feel sad for my friends when they said they were done having kids. Because I hadn't reached that point myself, I didn't understand how anyone could feel "done." I had one or two kids and loved being a mom. Things weren't too crazy, and I knew I could handle more.

Well, now I have 3 kids and I am starting to understand the feeling of "done." During my pregnancy, my husband kept talking about #3 possibly being our last, but I never felt that way. Now I feel like there's one more and then we're done.

I don't know how I'll feel when I am holding baby #4. But something that helps me when I have a decision like this to make is putting it off. I often just need time to get used to the idea and realize it's what I truly want. If I were in your position, I'm sure I would delay the procedure for a few months at least. That's just how I deal with decisions like this!

Ummmm, yes. I have 4 children, youngest being 15 months old. I had severe medical issues and the doctor stopped in the middle of the last csection and told my husband he could not get my pregnant again because it is not safe for me or a baby. I am in the process of making that appointment for my husband and I do feel a twinge of sadness. I am a sahm too and am very busy raising 4 kids, but admitting that we are not having any more is very difficult. I am turning 39 this year. What we have to remember is that we are blessed with beautiful healthy children and this proceedure is what is best for us at this time. Don't forget, if you and your husband change your mind in the future, it can be reversed.

I haven't gone through it yet, but I have watched friends do it. It is very normal to feel sad that a baby (no matter what number it is) may be your last. I completely understand why it would be difficult to say good-bye to that stage of your life, especially when you still have those postpartum hormones in your system (this is not the cause of the sadness, of course, but surely it contributes). Try to think of the good things that come with being finished (I too hate being pregnant! Blech!) and if that doesn't work, remember that most vasectomies are reversible. If you TRULY feel you want another baby in 3-4 years and you and your husband decide to go for it, it may be a possibility. So instead of worrying that this is your last, just concentrate on this baby, and in a couple of years you can decide if you are truly finished. By then, you'll be a bit away from the baby stage, and you may decide that you like your new freedom.

Yikes... you're only 32! So young! I'm 41 and am about to have baby #3 and feel the same way as you and finally come to terms with getting my tubes tied and not having any more kids. I'm miserable during this pregnancy and can't imagine going thru it again well into my 40's. So I'm truly done! I am finally getting my boy and will eventually get my body back!! So what I'm trying to say is... if you have any doubts, maybe you shouldn't go thru with any birth control options that are so final, like a vasectomy. I would hold off a few years (you are really young! Keep that in mind!) and see how you feel then. At age 35 or even 37 you may feel ready to "go for it one more time" to get #4 that you guys always wanted (and ready for it for sure).... OR you may think at that point that no, you really are done and are enjoying your baby-free lifestyle and have gotten into a routine that's comfortable for you. You know? I would LISTEN to those nagging doubts and not do anything until you feel 100% for your decision. Plus, your financial situation could change for the better in 3-5 years-- you never know. I am glad I did nothing... after baby #2 I was ready (and so was my husband) to not have anymore ... then suddenly this baby #3 comes out of nowhere as a total surprise and even though we were dreading the baby thing again, we've come full circle and are excited because he'll be my first boy and I can't imagine not having him now... ya know? :) Congrats on all of your kids--- they're all so special and worth the trouble we go thru just to get them here.. aren't they? ;)