Need Advice on Getting Tubes Tied

Updated on August 05, 2009
K.B. asks from Blythewood, SC
30 answers

I'm 35 weeks along with my second child. Both me and my husband have agreed that we do not want anymore children. We have a two year old daughter and a son that is due Aug.22. We figured we were blessed with a boy and a girl and that is enough for us. We make it but we struggle at times and to have more than two children would also be hard. But....I was wondering about getting my tubes tied after I have my little boy. I've talked to my doctor and she says it's my decision (not really agreeing or trying to talk me out of it). But the more I tell people about my decision the more that are telling me not to do it. Ever since I started my period I've always been like clockwork...every 28 days, my period would last 1-3 days and they are never heavy and rarely have a suffered more than a little menstrual cramp, and this is whether I've been on birth control or not. So I've never had any female problems in that area. But every woman that I've talked to so far keeps telling me that after she has has her tubes tied she suffers from heavy, more frequent, and more painful periods, and that her hormones are completely out of whack. Many of them are on birth control again to control the hormones, which is an expense, not to mention another thing to remember, that I'm trying to avoid in the first place by getting my tubes tied. My husband doesn't want me to get them tied and has told me from day one that he would gladly have a vasectomy done. I just wanted to hear what some of the experiences were here before I made a final decision. It's only been two or three women that I've talked to so I'd love to get the advice from a wider range of women if I can. Thanks so much in advance for all of y'alls help in this matter.

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So What Happened?

Wow, I'm so appreciative for all of the responses and advice. I think that I am going to look into the IUD option and do some research before my 36 week check up so I can discuss it with my doctor. I had never even thought of the IUD because I've been so used to being on the pill. I'm going to talk to my husband and my doctor and see what they think. I do know that I have to make this decision for myself. I don't know what the future may bring I just want to make sure that I do thing right thing for myself and my body. Thanks to everyone again!!

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Sometimes people change their minds for one reason or another. I'd wait and do something else their are so many options out their. Personal opinion wait until you get past age 35 was what a doctor told me...I'm 45 now and still have not done anything that is perm. I'm glad that doctor at age (33 for me) gave me the advise she did or I wouldn't have the 3 little boys I have. You never know things change people change their thoughts as they get older. Many blessings to you.

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C.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Vasectomy, it is pretty inexpensive and with the economy, a lot of the physicians that do vasectomies are doing them
a lot cheaper than before, as people do not want to have
more children in an economy like it is now.

C. C

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.,
After my second was born, I asked about birth control and my midwife recommended Mirena IUD, said she loves it and so do all her patients. I was nervous about the hormones, since I was miserable on the Pill, so I looked into a tubal ligation. I googled "tubal ligation problems" and came up with a scary list. So I opted for the Mirena and have been happy with it. After about 6 months I stopped getting my period. The only problem I have with it is pimples, about 3-5. Not bad considering the alternatives.
Hope this helps,
A.

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M.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I would advice not getting your tubes tied simply because of the simple fact that you dont know what might happen tomorrow and maybe you might want more children. I use the Mirena and I love it. I have two boys myself and right now i dont think we want any more children. My mom got her tubes tied after she had my youngest sister and she was having heavy bleeding up until the time she got her whole womb taken out. Its really your choice but I think any type of IUD is better than getting your tombs tied and they have the copper that lasts for 10yrs and the Mirena for 5yrs.
Good luck with your decision making.
M.

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P.D.

answers from Columbia on

Hey K.,
Ask your doctor about an IUD. After having my 3rd little one I had got one. I've had other problems in the past but it is less expensive then pills and it last for five years.

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J.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Me and my husband have been round and round about the same issue. When I was pregnant with our third child the midwife had some very strong, maybe harsh words about me gettting my tubes tied or my husband getting it done. She very bluntly said "kids get cancer, accdents happen and you are still young" i was taken back when she made that comment but she is right. Me and my husband have decided to wait until our youngest is a year old and then he will have it done. It is far less invasive for him and less recovery time. I woudld recommend maybe waiting until the baby is a year old and then let him do it!

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L.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey Sweetie,
I won't tell you what you should do, but I will add my voice and my story to the many others whom you have spoken with.

When I was considering getting my tube tied many women told me not to do it for most of the same reasons you've already mentioned. One woman even gave me statistics. I wish I could remember what they were exactly and from where she obtained them.... but they went something like this... 70% of all women who get the their tubes tied end up with a hysterectomy, most within the next 10 years. I certainly didn't want that but I felt I had no choice.

I was thirty years old and pregnant with my seventh child when I made the decision. You see, you are lucky. My husband refused to have a vasectomy and so I felt I had no choice.

Once I had my tubes tied my body was never the same. Before, I was like you, healthy and ultra regular, not much cramping, not a heavy flow. After it was terrible. I developed fibroids, (non-cancerous tumors)and polyps. By the time I was forty I was only NOT bleeding about one week out of the month and in a lot of pain. And so, I became another statistic and had a hysterectomy ten years after tying my tubes.

Doctors will tell you this is all just wives tales. But then, doctors get paid to perform the surgery! Do some research, hit up some alternative medicine sites. The sites run by doctors will say the same thing... no side effects, no problems, yadda yadda yadda. Here's one discussion I found http://www.tubal-reversal.net/post_tubal_ligation_syndrom.... It will help you to know both sides of the story and kudos to you for reaching out to other women here on this site!

All said and done, if your husband is willing, the surgery for him is much less invasive. You are lucky that he is willing and what a wonderful gesture of his love for you!

Love and light to you!
L.
Author of Rated:TEEN An Awakening Book for Serious Minded Teens
http://www.amazon.com/Rated-Teen-Warrior-Lightflow-ers-Gr...

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K.D.

answers from Atlanta on

For yours, your spouse's and your family's well being, you don't want to rule out the harmful side effects of sterilization procedures. I know b/c the effects were experienced first hand in my own life. To find out more about the effects a great source is www.onemoresoul.com. There is also a very well informed doctor right here in Atlanta. Her name is Dr. Kathleen Raviele. Her phone number is ###-###-####.
Also you need to know with the permanency of such procedures the reversal costs are enormous even for vasectomies. They are $15,000 and upwards. Even after reversal procedures are performed they are not always successful.
I wish I had known all this before we had made our decision. We were very fortunate to experience God's love through all of it and now include prayer in all our decisions and actions.

God Bless you and your family. Congratulations on your newest blessing to come!

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M.S.

answers from Spartanburg on

Two of my sisters and quite a few of my friends have had their tubes tied only to have many of the horrible side effects you mentioned. Both of my sisters and several of my friends have had to have hysterectomies to rid themselves of those side effects only to have the onset of menopausal symptoms.
If they had to do it all again their husbands would be getting vasectomies. Also, tubal ligations are only guaranteed for 10 years. We've had several local families have a very unexpected delivery from the "Stork" that had tubals after their last child was delivered 10 to 15 earlier.
Talk this over with your husband and both of your Dr.s to be well informed.

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B.W.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Fact is if your hubby will get the vas, that is MUCH safer, cheaper, and much less invasive. Vesectomy has few to no side effects and only costs about $400, where there are many possible side effects and complications of tubals, and the cost runs around $3000. Even if your insurance is paying or whatever, considering the cost is important because there is a reason it costs more. It is a much bigger surgery and much more is involved. for hubby it is a short office visit, local anesthetic and some pain pills. may be down for a day. (mainly because men are babies, but you know, we can baby them a bit sometimes. lol)

I told my hubby long ago that when it was time to go permanent that it would be HIS turn! lol. I have carried and given birth to 4 children now, without any pain medicine. Surely he can deal with something much less when it is time!!!

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Well it is your decision but in my opinion I wouldn't do it. I mean I understand you don't want anymore kids but you never ever ever know what could happen and yes they can reverse it but sometimes they can't. Also it's less invasive for a man to have it done- you have the children have him get the snip.
I am 33 years old and mother of twins. We too struggle but I'm only 33 years old. I say by the time I am 38 if I haven't had another baby by then I will tell my hubby to go get the snip done. You are still very young. There are still other "options" out there. Also I have heard about this new thing called Essure I think is the name. It's my understanding that it's done in the office but I don't know too much about it but I know it's supposed to be "permanent" but non-surgical. Hey it's worth looking into though if you want but I guess if we didn't want to explore any other birth control methods I would opt for my hubby to go rather than myself just mainly because it's so much less invasive for a male and it doesn't screw up their hormones by any means.

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T.T.

answers from Atlanta on

I had the same concern about getting my tubes tied so I decided on a procedure named Essure. Its insertion of coils in your tubes that are eventually blocked by tissue after 3-6 months. My periods are regular and after 4 years since the procedure I have experienced no complications or changes in them. Either this or having your husband have the vasectomy are good options.

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C.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm thrilled I got a tubal! I had to have a c-section with my 2nd child, so my tubal was done then. My cycles have not been affected by the tubal. It doesn't make sense to me that they would be. All a tubal does is prevent the egg from making it down to your uterus. I think women who need help with their hormones need it just because of changes happening to them postpartum or because of age that would have happened to them whether or not they had a tubal.
That being said, unless you're having a c-section anyway, go for the vasectomy. It's cheaper and less invasive.

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N.A.

answers from Columbia on

Let your husband get the operation done - that way if you change your mind down the road - or something happens to your husband - you would still be able to have children. From the sounds of it - I don't think you need to have your tubes tied - too many complications!! Also a biggy - pray about it! If you have any doubts after praying - don't!!

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T.L.

answers from Savannah on

I too was going to get my tubes tied but I opted to get Mirena instead. It lasts for 5 years in case I ever change my mind or my financial state changes. After about 1 year your period slows to almost nothing or it stops completely. I went in wanting my tubes tied but I still would have cramping and tons of bleeding and the reversal rate is slim to none. Get all the info about everything before making your decision. Then choose what is best for you. You don't know what the future has in store for you and you should keep your options open. Research is the key. Hope this helps.

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H.R.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi, I don't know anything about getting tubes tied. But I would like to fill you in on a vasectomy. Last summer my hubby had this done as we were pregnant with #3 and decided that this was enough for us.
It was a simple office procedure, he was in and out in 20 mins. They gave him a valium. He came home and slept for the evening and rested the next day. So on the next day, only 36 hours, he was ready to make sure he still worked again!!!! (even though the Dr.s said wait a week) So it sure can't be that bad. He was a little sore but this is nothing compared to what you would go through. Plus I just figured for all I went through having the babies he can do a 20 min procedure.
Just make sure as a couple that you are done. Anyway good luck. Just wanted to give you a prospective about vasectomy. -H.-

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

I'm 34, have two kids, the youngest is 3yrs old. I had him May 2006 and have my tubal Feb 2007. They only thing I regret is the timing because I was down for a couple of days. I couldn't pick up my son, holding him hurt my belly, I was slow moving too. After all the pain went away, I haven't had a problem since that I can contribute to having it done. The only thing I wish differently is that my hubby would have been the one to get it done instead. There's is so minor now days that it would have probably been easier for him instead of myself.

good luck and just make sure you get informed
S.

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V.E.

answers from Atlanta on

When we had our last one,we chose for my husband to have the vasectomy. He had it in the DR office on a Friday , rested over the weekend and returned to work on Monday. There is some swelling and bruising but it was much easier for him than it would have been for me. It was done after our daughter was about 2weeks old. V.

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M.D.

answers from Atlanta on

I, like you, have 2 kids and we are finished. I considered tying my tubes with my last c-section but was talked out of it by my husband and promised a vasectomy on his part. Recently when I went to my gynecologist to discuss this decision she talked me out of him getting a vasectomy and me getting Mirena implant so that I would continue being happy with my light, short periods like yours. This is good for 5 years and is a lot less worry than a pill whichi is currently what I'm on.

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D.L.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I had 2 children & a step son when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I decided to have my tubes tied. I had never heard anything bad about having that done until I had them tied. My twins will be 2 in October. I knew I didn't want anymore children and I always hated any method of birth control. I agree with the women you have talked to. My periods have been so heavy and I never experienced PMS until I had my tubes tied and you can not control it. Now that I know what's going on with my body, I'm aware of it and I can feel when it's coming. I have PMS for about 2 weeks before my period actually comes- it only last about 3 days but it runs like the red sea while its on. I still think I would have gotten them tied even if I would have known these things ahead of time just because I didn't want to have more children. If your husband has agreed to have a vasectomy that's great.. you know you have another option.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Vasectomy!!!!! I've done a ton of research on this because my husband and I are about to have something permanent done as well. My doctors told me that they would be happy to do a tubal, but it is SO much more invasive, expensive and requires longer recouperation time than a vasectomy. ALSO, I used to think this fell under the category of "urban legend" or one of those stories where someone's friend's friend -blah blah blah -but since I started doing research and asking people about it, I have encountered about 5 different people who got pregnant AFTER a tubal! They themselves or their mother or sister -not someone they just heard about! It happened a few years after because their tubes actually grew back together. I know it sounds crazy, but it can happen! I found too many occurrances to want to chance it -especially since that kind of thing would put me in my mid to late 40s -but it happened then for one of my mom's best friends and our babysitter's mother.

My doctors were far more fond of either the Mirena IUD or my husband having a vasectomy (this has gotten MUCH easier and cheaper). Hubby was squeemish at first, but then I reminded him of my carrying two babies, always dealing with birth control and HAVING the babies -that makes a vasectomy laughable! He's having one next month :-)

Just make sure if he has one that he follows the vasectomy doctor's guidelines to the LETTER. My doctor also told me that she sees many women who are shocked to find out they're pregnant because their husbands didn't ejaculate the required number of times after the vasectomy to get all the live ones out! She said they usually recommend 20 ejaculations before it's safe, so use protection at first!

****One caveat to my advice -my doctor said if I had to have a c-section with my 2nd baby last October, she would just go ahead and do the tubal then. Because of expense, I would have taken that option as a freebee, but I didn't have to have a c-section, so that was off the table. It still wouldn't take away how many people I've found with failed tubals, so I probably would always be nervous!

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C.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree with what others have said. An IUD is wonderful. I've had 2 now (one before my child's birth and one after). It takes minutes to be inserted, is mostly covered by insurance, and you're done for 5 years! Your cycles may be unstable for a month or 2, but mine has practically gone away.

You are young, and you truly never know where life is going to lead you. My sister is younger than you and doesn't plan to have more kids, but she knows that if something were to happen to her kids, or even her husband, she would want to have that option. You never know how you might feel in another 10 years.

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B.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Let your hubby get the Vasectomy. It takes only 15 minutes, 2 days top for recovery (my hubby said the pain was very tolerable) His preocedure is an outpatient surgery. The side effects for him are so rare compared to possible side effects for you. If he is willing then let him do it and keep your hormones and everything else just the way they are!!

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S.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I have heard many women including my sister say that having your tubes tied isn't worth the pain and the heavier periods. If your husband is willing to have a vasectomy, I would let him. It's alot easier for men than women. My husband has considered doing the same thing. His doctor told him he would just need 3 days to recup. In my sister's case, she ended up having to have a hysterectomy. Good Luck! Congratulations on your new baby!

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C.J.

answers from Columbus on

Hello K.,
Congratulations on your soon new arrival. It's good that you and your husband plan for the future. Some of what youKve is true. But every experience is unique to that woman.what you chose and how your body reacts will be totally you. Have you and your husband talked about him having a vasectomy?
Lovingly
C. J

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A.B.

answers from Macon on

Have your husband get a vasectomy. They are quick, easy, and save you all the possible problems that the tube tying may cause.

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M.W.

answers from Charleston on

hi K. how are you first of all ? i see no problem in getting your tubes tied and i must let you know there is a correction there honey they don't tie your tubes they cut and burn it's called tubal ligation there is no reversing of this procedure so make sure you are absolutely sure that this is what you want to do, i am now 42 as of last month i have three girls 22, 18, and 8 i did my tubal ligation eight years ago after the birth of my daughter i have no problems with cramps or anything of the sort so those two women who try to encourage you not to do so it's your decision and your husband you must also relize that every woman's body is different even though we all have the same organs we are unique that's why we are called individuals i have no problems and it's been 8 years so good luch and keep me posted i hope i help you in some way. M..W

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T.

answers from Atlanta on

I love my tubal. Got it 4 years ago at age 30 with my c-section and have no regrets, no heavy or irregular bleeding, etc. Unless God has other plans for me, I do not want any more kids. Should life happen, I am still comfortable with my decision. If you have any doubts, don't do it. Hope this helps.

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J.G.

answers from Atlanta on

One of the things you have to be certain of is that YOU don't want anymore children. Aside from you and your husband making a unified decision, be sure you personally don't want more. Should life happen that you and your husband are no longer together and you remarry, yo still want to be sure YOU don't want children. Secondly, do what you need to do and don't listen to the woes of your friends. They are not your body. get counselign from a qualified OB-GYN. I don't know what kind of tubal ligations they had, the expertise of the doctors. I am 63 years old had a laporoscopy tubal ligation when I was 35 and had no problems. All reproductive organs remained intact and I had perfect 28 day periods as you do. Now. Since you have a husband who is secure in his masculinity enough to have a vasectomy, if you have doubts for yourself and the surgery, let him do it. J. Gordon

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M.B.

answers from Athens on

Hi Kristin,
I don't know if I know anyone that has had their tubes tied but I have many friends that have had the IUD. It is available for 5 or 10 yrs and it can be removed at any time to restore fertility. No pills to remember to take. Everyone I know that has done this is very happy with their decision. In fact, I am about to go have it done in the next month or two. I am 33, married and have a 3 yr old boy and a 9 month old girl. Recently laid off from my job of 14 yrs. I have considered taking class for Medical Transcription as well. Do you know how easy or difficult it is getting a job working at home once you have completed the courses? How are you liking the classes?

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