Kids Wont Stop Fighting

Hi S.,
I have a 5 1/2 and a 4 yr old, both boys, and they fight a lot too. My youngest is actually the tougher one, but he can also take it better too. I hate it too! I seperate them when it gets out of control. Literaly, I make one go their room and one go outside or downstairs or somewhere else. It works for my two, because even thought they fight they are best friends and hate to be apart. I tell them that it is not acceptable to TRY and hurt someone else. We reiterate the "do unto others" motto and we make them say they are sorry to each other and then seperate them for awhile. They cool down and get distracted and it ususally work for awhile (: You didn't mention if your two "like" each other, so I don't know if that will work or not, you might just be teaching them to ignore each other which isn't good either, but it is something to try anyway. Good luck and I understand your pain, you aren't alone! A.

Hi S. i agree with the holding hands. I have tried this. I have four children (12,9,6,3) and a stepson and goddaughter(16,18) that live with me. i am also a daycare provider for about 12 years. I have had this issue frequently. Try to have a regular schedule with them, When they hit one another time out everytime. Be consistent and dont ever let them see you getting upset over their fighting. Everytime they hit they sit automatically. 5 minutes for your son and 3 for your daughter. Try to get him and her involved in activities outside the house maybe him in acrobats and her dance.That way they have sometime away from each other. good luck i know how frustrating this can be.. but it will get better they will not like to sit. You can also try a chart this has worked well in my house. If they get some many stickers we get a day of fun museum, planterium, park etc... If one has enough and the other doesnt they dont get to go. Only the one who has enough can go. steph

Hi S.,

Mayebe u need to get the super nanny,(LOL), Seriously now
youneed to try to correct this now, before they get older and you can't control them. Did you try to stop them right away before it gets out of control, you need to be stern with them and tell them u will not tolerate it. Or seek some help from a behavior specalist on how to handle this situation. I'm a crossing guard and I see some of these children fight at school and I can't believe how these children fight, they fight to hurt somebody and that is very scary. Hope things work out for u.

I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have two boys -Jacob is 3.5 years old, and Mikey is 2. They constantly fight. I have to pull them off each other many times each day. They hit, kick, bite, push, yank, etc. They're always fighting over toys, or who has what. It really get's exhausting! Whatever they fight over get's taken away and no one get's it. If the fighting get's to be too much and I don't want to deal with it anymore, then they both have to go play in their seperate rooms for awhile. So there's no real advice, but we're right there with you!

My girls were fighting constantly when my mother-in-law gave me a suggestion that worked with her kids - make them sit on the sofa quietly and hold hands for a specified period of time. I thought "Yeah, right." Well, it worked for me. My girls hate it when I ask if they need to hold hands. They have to sit there quietly and hold hands, no punching, pinching, hitting, etc or they have to sit there longer. I think this gives them enough of a break in the fight that they forget the original cause. Afterward, they either are the best of friends or stay out of each other's way. They are almost 5 and 2.5 yrs old.

Best of luck,
K.

I don't have any advice. All i can say is my two (4 and 1/2 and 3) fight all the time. It is seriously WWIII up in my house. If you find any secrets on how to keep them from fighting please let me know. My two are horrible and fighting constantly. The only peace and quiet i get is when they are in bed. I fought with my brothers and sisters but this is worse than what we fought like.

I tell them look I asked you to stop if you dont and get hurt don't come crying to me. Which is what they do. It drives me nuts. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I feel your pain.