Kids Friends

Updated on September 12, 2011
K.S. asks from Wisconsin Rapids, WI
5 answers

hey mamas, got a question for you......
My son turns 7 today, and I am getting so worried about the friends he is making and hanging around with. The kids in the neighborhood are typical boys, but seem to be getting in trouble. Nothing major, just making wrong choices, like going on other neighbors property to play in their forts, after being asked by the owner to stay out . My son has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). He is a good kid, just doesn't think before acting, and never wants to tell his "friends" no, and have them get mad at him. They peer pressure him, example, to go places on bike that would normally be off limits.Last week, one of the boys had another kids bike, and threw it in a drain off pond, and my son went in to get it, not knowing how deep it was, but wanted to get the bike out. Very dangerous, he can swim, but no one knew they were back there!!! I am starting to get worried that he will continue to befriend kids that will get him into more and more trouble. I'm afraid that parents will not want their kids to be friends with him, thinking he is bad news. Any one else feel this way about their school agers???

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K.R.

answers from Spokane on

Why are they all out of sight from any adults? Even in our quiet "safe" neighborhood my 6 1/2 year old is not allowed out of my sight, ever. The one time I let him ride his bike around the block with his friend he fell off and got horrible road rash on his knee, he was screaming on the sidewalk and another mom luckily came out to help him until I realized he was gone too long and went to find him.
I have made my house a haven for kids and while their mom's send them out of the house all day and never wonder where they are, they are at my house. I want it that way so that I can not only keep them safe, but monitor their behavior. Young boys get more and more mischevious the larger their goup is, they egg each other on, it's just their nature.
My house is the one with a slip and slide available at any time, a climber in the back yard, extra scooters and bikes in the garage (with a strict helmet and shoes rule), picnic snacks of fruits and veggies at any time they are hungry, and G rated movies when it's too hot to be out. A couple of weeks ago one of the regular "visitors" shouted out of nowhere "This is the best house EVER!" - and all because we let him come in and watch Land Before Time and eat apple slices!
Keep your kid close to home, and his friends too, go outside in the backyard with them when they want to play. You don't have to be playing *with* them, just take a book and settle yourself in the shade, your presence will be enough to keep them in check, and you can keep one ear open for bad language or troublesome plotting ;)

6 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I would think it's time for some home play dates.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Can you give examples of the "trouble" they get in?

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe the play time needs to be changed so he is less free range if he can't make better friends or better choices.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.R.

answers from Des Moines on

He is too young to be out of your sight for more than 5 minutes. I agree with another post that there is a lot you can do to create fun at your house or your backyard "territory". Also, get him involved in Cub Scouts, Awana (church), soccer, basketball, etc., where he and you can meet a larger variety of children that he can play with. You can also then observe other children and their parents before making the decision to have your child play with them at your house of their house.

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