Kid with Not-so-severe Allergy Being Separated at School Lunch

I can't imagine they wouldn't work with you. They probably saw the allergy and reacted like it was a severe allergy.

Talk to the allergist. A note from a parent really doesn't carry much weight. A doctor waiver might.

I have no idea how flexible they will be, but they should not have singled him out completely! It is not fair to make him sit totally by himself. I would talk with them about at least allowing him to sit with a few that do not have nuts in their lunch.

You said not to say anything, but I think you are crazy to allow what you do. As someone with a nut allergy, you need to be careful. Nut allergies especially, tend to escalate. Meaning, each reaction means the next can or will be worse. As a child, I went from a rash around my mouth and nothing more then that, to nearly dying after accidental contact. You have to keep that in mind. You might not think it's life threatening, but you have absolutely no way of knowing if it becomes that way. Schools have a HUGE liability issue with these allergies. They are likely not going to work with you, because anyone in the medical field (hopefully, the nurse is trained) knows how these allergies work. To add, parents can say whatever they want. You checked he had an allergy, and I would be surprised if they accepted your new revision to that. They have to protect themselves and the children. I doubt they will work with you. They really shouldn't, if their heads are screwed on right.

**I think the only way they will work with you, is if you can prove he has NO allergy. Since he still tests positive he has an allergy. Current severity is not going to matter to the school. An existing allergy matters.

Reading this makes me so grateful that my daughter's school is so flexible about their allergy policy. My daughter is allergic to peanuts and milk. In first grade, they gave her the option of sitting at the "peanut table" or sitting at the end of the regular table. She chose to sit at the regular table. As the school year went on, she was allowed to sit anywhere she wanted.

I understand the risks associated with allergies. And I'm not trying to be cavalier about the danger food poses to my daughter. But honestly, if she can't figure out how to navigate her food allergies in school, how is she going to deal with it when she goes out into the big bad world?

I would talk to the school nurse. Really, it is probably up to the lunch monitor to decide whether or not they feel comfortable allowing your son to risk being exposed to peanuts. They will probably say no, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

I dread the day my youngest son starts school. He is allergic to milk, soy, eggs, peanuts, fish, and shellfish. By the time he starts school, he will probably have to eat his lunch in a plastic bubble ;-)

In my experience as a teacher ( subbing 12+ yrs) we take ZERO chances when a parent alerts us of an allergy of any sort.

Bottom line, God forbid, we allow you child with known mild allergy to sit with friends, we have no clue if something can trigger an allergy and send your child into an allergic reaction requiring medical attention Stat!

We have peanut free tables and each friend can invite a friend who has no peanuts, oils, etc... To sit at the peanut free table.

As a school district, we can't knowingly allow a child with z known allergy to sit with children at lunch and not be aware if that child's exposure to an allergy.

I know it sucks... But the school system has to protect themselves as well from potential lawsuits ( too many people are sue happy).

Go talk to the nurse but I don't foresee an accommodation other that a friend sitting at peanut/tree nut free table. We have to watch out for all of the children and when you have 150+ children in a grade level it takes management to keep potential allergens at bay from those who need it.

I can't answer your question but I had a suggestion in the event they aren't willing to let him sit at the other table. Why not suggest he be allowed to choose 2-3 friends that have peanut-free lunches to come sit with him at his table so that he's not alone. Our school also has one table for kids with allergies but there are several kids so they are never alone. That doesn't seem right. Good luck!

For the school's protection, they will separate him. You can discuss it, however I am certain that they will continue with this. I do not see why your son can not invite some friends to the same table that have non peanut foods though.

Talk to the school nurse, but I'm guessing that the only way you can have your son not eat at that special nut free table, is to get a letter on file from the doctor stating that it is okay for him to eat near other kids who are eating nuts....

Make an appointment with the allergist and find out what his recommendations are. You might also want to get a second opinion on the nut allergies as well - it might be worth it to do a food challenge.

My son was in the same boat. His egg and peanut allergy were getting less severe than when he was a smaller child. I just made an appt wth the school nurse, went in, and revised his allergy action plan. This was then shared with his teacher. You ultimately have control over the plan, so give her a call and set up an appt.
Hope this helps.

the poor schools just aren't equipped to handle the dump truck loads of individual issues kids have these days. they HAVE to have blanket policies, or they have to raise taxes to pay for extra staff to oversee allergies and learning disabilities and social challenges and all those parents who don't send in lunch money but think it's up to the school to deal.
i HOPE they'll let your poor old guy back at his table. sounds like a dreary way to spend lunch. but it may well be that they take the position that they can't make exceptions or anarchy breaks out. and they've got a point.
:/ khairete
S.

They are probably not flexible.
Peanut allergies are nothing to sneeze at (HA!).
While they may show up as irritation around the mouth, hives, ect they CAN change to anaphalactic reactions for no reason. (my girlfriend's son is allergic to peanuts also. Just like yours he can eat things processed in a peanut plant, be next to his brother eating peanut butter. But her doctor is the one that said it can go from a skin reaction to anaphalactic for no reason at ANY time)
And then the school is in trouble.
Why? because you stated on his papers that he is allergic to peanuts. They must follow the rules. I don't understand why you would risk it.
L.

I doubt they will be flexible - the consequences are too severe to even tempt

My daughter has reactions to peanuts as well...her eczema will flair up - that's it. She is 10 and that has been her only reaction EVER. It is far less now than it used to be as well. She used to have flare ups if she ate anything processed near peanuts. They had her sit at the peanut free table one time...but I talked to the nurse, we got a note for my daughter to have her Aveeno cream (what works best for her skin) at the nurses office....so with any flare up, she goes to the nurse to get her cream. Easy.

She doesn't have to sit at the peanut free table anymore.

Talk to the school...if they are reasonable, they will work with you if you can explain it's more of a sensitivity than an allergy, which is what it sounds like to me.

Hi - my son promises not to light anything on fire, can he play with your matches now?

You shouldn't have a problem. My son is very much like yours - always tests positive and can't eat the items, but is fine with processed in the same facility, manufactured on the same equipment, etc. He can sit by people eating PB&J and can be next to someone eating peanuts at a baseball game. He is also going into first grade this year.

His school has the allergy free tables (dairy and nuts) but my son is not required to sit there. He knows it's an option if he'd feel more comfortable (his dairy allergy is actually more problematic and once in awhile he stresses and doesn't want to be around it), but for the most part he sits at the regular table with his friend.

I'm sure the school would let him stay at the regular table if you go in and have a chat with the nurse, his teacher, and any lunch aides that might be responsible for keeping an eye on him. At worst, have your doctor write a note to bring in. They should never isolate a child who doesn't need it, though I'm certainly glad the option is there for those who do.

It totally depends on the school. My daughter has a peanut allergy and school responses have totally varied. Last year the school nurse completed a 504 plan for her and she had to sit in the allergy corner of the table (ie - insulated from other kids who might have peanut products). A letter was sent home asking parents not to send in peanut stuff for birthdays. This year her new school seems not to care. She can sit wherever she wants at lunch, and she herself had to tell the teacher she couldn't eat peanut MnMs when a girl brought them in for her birthday treat.

My advice... take your son's allergy seriously. Bug is right that the more exposure he has as a small child, the more likely it is that he will continue to be allergic, or will have a more serious reaction in the future. Personally, I have no problems with my child sitting next to someone eating peanut butter. She knows not to reach over and take a lick of the sandwich. But I don't let her eat products that might contain peanuts - no use exposing her and making the allergy worse.

I think it depends on the school. At our old school, one little girl had a milk allergy. They had her sit at the allergy table for K, but in grade one they allowed her to sit with everyone else. I guess they decided that either her allergy wasn't that severe or she was mature enough not to drink a cup of milk. At both the old school and the new school, the kids with allergies get to bring a friend to the allergy table. Let me tell you, every kid in class wants to get invited to that table. They are very popular. Maybe if the school won't bend, ask that they allow your son to invite a peanut free friend to eat with him at the table.

I am sure your sons school is going to respond to this with their own discretion. It may be as simple as you completing new paperwork for him and it may be an act of Congress.

I am sure as long as the school paperwork says "alergy" he will have to move and sit at the allergy table. The school will not want to liable for a reaction when their paperwork said he had an allergy.

thank you so much for writing this!!

I am so seriously sick of the over-reaction to allergies! My nephew has the type of allergy that just touching milk or peanuts gives him hives, he doesn't even have to ingest it. But if he touches it, he goes to the bathroom and get this, uses soap and water to wash it off. Only ONCE in his 14 yrs has there been a mishap and that was when he was almost 2 and at the daycare he visited the next room and drank a kid's milk and one other time when he took another kid's peanut butter cracker as a 3 yr old cause he wanted to see what it was like to eat it.

Tell the school that although your son has an allergy it is mild and he does not need any special treatment, just do not feed him those products out right. Write it in a note that is dated and signed so they can have that on file.

Wow your school still allows peanut butter.
Please before going to the school, Go to an allergist with your son, get him a blood test for peanuts and general allergens. Get educated if that conversation should happen with your school or not. Some kids out grow allergies...yay...some they increase with every exposure, even if its not noticeable until they are dying right in front of their classmates and the onlyhope is tthat someone will show with an epi pen or shot and it works fast enough.
Yes you asked for no lecture and this isn't one just a suggestion.
Most schools once you put an allergy in writing they can't ignore that it is a possibility. I hope your child is outgrowing the allergy.

With allergies you have the chance of outgrowing them. But you also have the chance that they get worse with more exposure. The first exposure triggers a mild reaction but because the body has reacted before it can react even stronger the next time. You never know what can happen. It's always better to just assume worse case then have worse case happen.
You can try getting a doctor's note explaining the history and go from there. It's worth a try.
It's hard but it can be dangerous if something were to happen.

In my daughter's public school they did not separate the kids. Her first year at private they had a separatge peanut free table. They did not separate the kids but you could not bring peanuts to that table. My daughter was friends with the peanut free girl so she just was not given peanut butter etc for lunch. Once we went to montissorri around 5 grade we noticed they were not really separated but teachers sit with them and they are educated. I do not think it was right for the kid to each lunch by himself.

You never know until you try. I would bring a letter from the allergist when you go in to talk to the nurse.

I think that every school district is different. Just go talk to the nurse about it. Go from there. You're going to get a lot of conflicting advice here that doesn't necessarily have to do with your school.

I would talk to them. My DD is allergic to apples much the same way and even accidentally drinking an apple blend won't result in a severe allergy. She is not sequestered from other kids. I think they may be twitchy because people think peanuts = epi pen/life threatening. I told the nurse that DD can't eat apples but she can be around them. She was not moved over the summer and attends the same school now. The nurse did ask me what kind of allergic reaction she has, so you should be able to talk to that nurse about this, too, IMO. You can also ask if he can be moved with a friend so he's not sitting alone. Or, hey, why not move the PBJ kid? :P

All schools, have differing rules about it.
BUT, per school rules, whatever rules they do have and the procedures for it, the school Staff, must adhere to it. It is their job, and the school policy and there is liability as well to worry about.

Per my kids' school: it is a Nut Free school. However, kids are not separated. IF a kid has a nut allergy of any kind, they need to tell us, or their Teacher etc. Or some schools, may have a list of kids per allergies. However, the parents are ALSO informed, that they must TEACH their child to speak up and also be proactive in their own allergies too, and TELL the school anytime.
Going back: so at my kids' school, they are not separated per allergies. However, a little sign may be placed at a child's place on the table, IF any child happens to be eating ANY food that MAY have been processed at a plant that also produces nut products, or has nuts in it, or etc. There is varying verbiage on it. And although we check ALL snacks/home lunches that are brought to the cafeteria by other kids, and fliers ARE sent home to ALL families at the start of the school year... there will ALWAYS be students that STILL bring nut things to school, because not all parents feel it is important.

And, IF a student happens to have a nut product and it is already opened and the kid is already eating it... then again, we put a sign up by the child, we WIPE DOWN the area that the child is eating it and we have to ask the REST of the table, if any child is allergic to nuts, and we may then need to, make sure that that child and the child eating a potential nut product, is NOT near each other.

Anyway, YOU need to, talk to YOUR child's school, and see what THEIR rules are and their procedures and how, they handle it and in the cafeteria and in the classroom and at recesses. Because, kids everyday... bring snacks and home lunch to school... and foods are eaten at lunch OR at recess times. And Teachers and the school, cannot possibly search and check EACH child's lunch bag or snack bag, to look for nuts or offending food products.

ALSO, keep in mind, that even if a school is Nut Free... and notices are sent home to the parents, that does not mean, all kids and parents, will adhere to it.
AND keep in mind that... SOME parents, circumvent the "No Nuts" rules... by putting their child's lunch or snacks, in their own Ziplock bags or containers. HENCE, they take it out of the manufacturer or store's packaging, and put in in their own "anonymous" container... and thus, the school and Teachers and staff... CANNOT at all, read the product ingredient list labeling, nor can then tell if a product has nuts in it or not, or where it was produced.
THUS, it is NOT only the school's "fault" if any nuts gets into school. Because, other kids' parents, and the kid themselves, will often not say anything about their food and they will bring it in their own baggies or containers. So no one can read the food labels or ingredient labels on their food.

For some kids with nut allergies... EVEN if a product does not contain nuts but is produced in a plant that may also produce nuts, a child CAN still suffer from a reaction. Thus, it is important to read food labels.

And also keep in mind: that kids often share their food/snacks with other kids. EVEN if it is against, school rules. And hence, in this manner, kids with allergies can get affected.
Just because a kid is allergic to something, it does not mean that they read labels, either. It does not mean that that allergic child will on their own, stay away from goodies. In the cafeteria at my kids school, there are kids that may be allergic to things like diary. BUT there they are, with a milk carton AND they are drinking it! EVEN IF THEY KNOW, they are allergic. They say they like milk. So then at that point, we have to tell the Teacher AND the school and the school tells the child's parent.

You see, not all kids will self-manage themselves.

I work at my kids' school and this is what I see everyday.

Depends on the school, you really need to ask them. Our school only separated ONE child the entire time we were there, and that was at the PARENT'S request.