My 3 & 1/2 year old old has developed a bad habit of putting his hands down his pants. Now that he's in preschool & the teacher needs it to stop out of concern for cleanliness issues insidethe classroom (which is understandable). We've been trying to break the habit since it began but nothing helps. (We believe that he does it for comfort.) We have explained over & over how it can make him sick (by transfering germs to his finger into mouth because we're also trying to stop the finger sucking), that it's appropriate at certain times when he's alone (but then he wets himself), rewarding him (when he doesn't do it) & punishing him (when he continues after being told not to). We don't want him to think touching himself is shameful but that it's not appropriate now. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Thank you for all the suggestions. We have tried overalls & fitted pants but he's far too determined. Ignoring has not done it either. Hopefully the situation will improve.
PS - When I talked about it making him sick (not as in a bad person), it's because he puts his hands down his pants & then sucks his fingers (another habit we're trying to break). We've told him how it could make him sick by transfering germs from below into his mouth.
I would wonder whether this behavior has intensified since the new baby. If so, you might want to talk with him about how his world is different since the new baby. Maybe he's also reaching for something to hold on to...so to speak.
J.
My son was doing the same thing up till a few months ago. everytime we noticed him with his hand in his pants we (or his daycare provider) would ask if he needed to go potty, which usually was met with a "no" and quick removal of the hand. I think he did it for comfort as well, it was just automatic for awhile there, but a good month or so of keeping on top of him reminding him to remove his hand and that it wasn't appropriate around others and he got the message and rarely does so anymore.
SS:
how about taking the tack of when and where he can do this rather than not doing it...
P., RLC, IBCLC
Patenting Coach and Board Certified Lactation Consultant
www.lactationsupporgroup.com
I agree with the suggestions to talk about what "Private" is. I would also be a little concerned for his safety until he learns boundaries.
Is he small enough to wear a onesie? A one-piece outfit, or even overalls would make it difficult to have easy access when he is in public.
:-)
Good luck!
I have three boys and my first was oh about 3 ish when I would catch him with his hands in his pants and the way I approached it was that there is a time to do that and a time not to. I now have three boys and they know that that is okay in the bathroom at home or in their bedroom but not any other place. At the intital time it was hard because I was taken back and at a loss as well but once I told my oldest that there really werent that many more issues - It might happen at first but just say thats for at home in the privacy of the bathroom or your bedroom. Good Luck.
Im suprised you told him it would make him sick??
ALL of us at some point discovered the southern territory.
What I told my kids is yes I know down there is interesting, and thats ok, but it is private. You can check things out when you are by yourself!
Unfortunately it is a natural thing for boys to do. I wouldn't say it will make him "sick" if he continues to do it...but rather teach him when it is appropriate and when it isn't. I think any book you read will say they do it because it feels good...in our days growing up it was really frowned upon, but hate to say if you lead him to believe it is shameful etc...it could lead to other issues down the track?!*? I have a boy and the same has started with his potty training....hopefully overalls and fitting pants will help with it.
we focus less on the cleanliness or appropriate nature, and instead talk about private. Every time we see hands down pants at home (son or daughter) we say "touching yourself is for private time, do you want to go to your room?" We could then just say, that's private, hands out of pants... ventually they got the lesson and stopped.
Had to LOL when I saw your post as my 2 yr old just started doing this about a month ago. It really started with potty training because he had such immediate access to it while sitting on the potty. Lots of things did not work at first but then when I started redirecting his hands, e.g. "Hands on your knees" when he's sitting on the potty, or "Hands up" and everyone (including my 4 yr old) would raise their hands in the air. The idea is to keep reinforcing something ELSE they can do with their hands.
Hope you find something that works! Congrats on the new baby!
I know it's a little late for this but, let me tell you what we did. I know it goes against everything I have been told about the matter. But, when it comes to making it stop NOW, it worked. We tried the nice way for a long time, and when that didn't work, I simply told him that he couldn't do it in front of anyone, at all, ever. I told him it was wrong. I know that's complete taboo with the rest of world, but it worked. A three year old has a hard time understanding what's appropriate and inappropriate especially when it is a sometimes Okay, sometimes Not situation. So, until things smoothed over I told him it was not okay to do at all. Period. And in the end he is a child and has done it again. Now that he is almost five, he understands a little better when I tell him that it isn't something I or anyone else wants to see. I don't tell him it is or is not okay now. I simply tell him that it is never okay to do in front of anyone. I figure in the end it will be to each his own, however, this worked well for me. And he doesn't act shamed when I happen to catch him now, I simply remind him that he doesn't need to be doing that, and it's over.
Good luck.
hi. i also have 3 year old that does the same thing. i too, tell him that it will make him sick and "we dont put our hand down there unless we are using the toilet" that helped a little. some "experts" say to ignore it cuz they are doing it for attention. On another note, i also have a newborn. well shes 4 months now. where are you from.
