Just Moved and Son Is Not Adjusting Well....

Updated on February 04, 2010
D.C. asks from Fullerton, CA
4 answers

Hello there you fabulous Moms (Dads) out there!
We just moved to a new home on Saturday, and my darling 3 1/2 little boy is having a rough time. He was born in the last home, so this is his first move. The first day was fun and excited. The second day he had the stomache flu, so he just layed around and Im sure missed the comfort of his old home/room. The 3-5 days, he has creid every night wanting to go home. He says he doesnt like his new home, this isnt my room. We have his room set up exacly as the old one. We have all the same furniture, but this house is a little bigger, and he has his own bathroom in this one. I know where he is coming from and my heart breaks for him. Is there anything that you can recommend to ease his pain? Dad took him to the old lace yesterday, to show that is was empty and that all of our stuff was gone, they stood in front and said thier goodbye's and I think that helped a little.
Thanks you as always!!
have a good week!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I like the idea of making the "new room" super cool... maybe let him pick-out new bathroom stuff? This too shall pass... check-in with your local librarian. They are a great resource for children's books that deal with the topic. You can read together at night about another child who moved into a new house and all the things they experienced. Sometimes it helps to see it from another child's perspective. Try to get him involved in a play group and try to invite a friend over so he can start to feel comfy and happy in his new house.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Norfolk on

I think instead of making his room exactly the same as the old, focus more on making something about his new room exciting. When we moved when my sons were younger, I went through the same this you are with my youngest. I ended up letting my son go with me and help pick out new curtains and new bed set for his room. Surprisingly it made him feel like he was big and that he was decorating his room.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.G.

answers from Seattle on

I think that suggestion of changing his room with his help is perfect! It can show him that you're comfortable with a new start for him and will help him adjust to something new that is his own, you could also let him be in charge of redecorating his new bathroom. Something that I've seen help is to make a memory book of the old house (We've used this for various 'keeping the memory alive' projects -- pictures from inside and outside of the house with or without family in the photos work) and then work together on putting the new house together, together ;) and chronicling your family's new adventure and move-in with him getting responsibility for taking the new house photos. Another idea that could help him would be letting him take pictures of the old house now from outside & pics of any special neighbors that babysat him or he especially appreciated so that he can keep that in a frame or his memory book in his room for a while. Kids love taking pictures and I know a lot of 3/4 year olds that benefit from their own 'memory' books (they're fun to make because you let them take the pictures and with the digital you can pick out the really good ones and even some bad ones because they're only $0.19/print anymore and you can order online and pickup in a store in less than an hour sometimes). So... even if the pictures are of a dogs paw, a swatch of carpet or a picture of the dirty hardwood floor because your child took the picture from about 3 feet off the ground, I know everyone will love it. Hope this helps & congratulations on your new adventure!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi D., the other moms have good ideas, but honestly I would let him adjust in his own time. When we moved from San Diego to Sasebo Japan I thought for sure our kids would have a hard time adjusting, not only a new house, it was going to be a new Country. At that time our kids were 7, 4, and 22 months, and most of the stuff they were familar with was packed, so here my kids were different house different country, with most of their belongings still packed, adjusted with no problems at all, and i was told by another woman that I met who's daughter had adjust very well as well, that her daughter and my kids found their security and their place with us the parents, not in their house or their stuff. Now I'm not saying your son doesn't get security from you, but it does seem that the biggest part of his security is with his house and things. Give him time to adjust, usually if children see mom and dad happy in a situation they usually feel secure and are happy themselves. I don't know if you did this or not, but we sat our kids down and we talked about the move, and the packing, even the over seas shots they were going to have to get, everyday at dinner, we let them ask question, we let them share their feelings, so when the big move came, they weren't thrown, we had talked about everything ahead of time. Denise

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