Joint Birthday Party - Invitation Etiquette

if it were up to me, I'd state "no gifts please". I do this for our parties because my kids don't usually need anything, its tough times and I don't want people to feel obligated to get us anything. I personaly wish more people would do this as it gets overwhelming to get gifts for every party you are invited to. Its mostly about friends getting together and feeling expected to bring gifts is a deterant. You'd be surprised how many people bring gifts anyways.

My sister and I usually have our kids b-days together every year since they are 10 days apart. We did exactly what you described. For mutual guests, we would say on the invitation it's a joint party. And for their own personal friends, we just gave invitations saying it was their own party since we didn't want them to feel obligated to bring an extra present. If anyone asked we'd just tell them exactly that. (no one ever did though) It always turned out fine. The thing that gets tricky is who's paying for what or is it divided down the middle, especially if one of you has more guests than the other. Its better to figure that out ahead of time. Also when they rsvp'd we mention it was a joint party but each of their friends were just bringing gifts for one. I always worry too that someone might feel wierd realizing it's a joint b-day so I did prefer to let them know ahead of time. I also felt awkward mentioning gifts too but in this situation it's kinda hard not to:)

I often have joint bday parties for my children and gifts are rarely an issue. It's usually really close friends & family being invited so they'll already know anyway. For the kids friends being invited, I send separate invites for only that particular bday child because I certainly don't expect them to bring multiple gifts for the children. My kids are pretty close in age, and I don't really plan a lot of games, etc. In the summer, we just have them at the park so the kids can run & play to their hearts content although, we usually have a pinata. As for decorations, it varies year to year. I usually just have a happy birthday sign up somewhere, each child's birthday banner, and the special helium balloon they picked out for themselves (that sits on the table for their gifts). If there's a particular theme they wanted, besides picking it up in the cake for each child, I buy wrapping paper in that theme to cover the tables with because it's so much cheaper than the themed tablecloths and it's sooo easy to clean up. Like I said, the cakes are usually separate but last year we were doing 4 people (2 of my children, my husband, and my nephew) and I made a huge sheet cake with a lincoln log castle at one end and figurines such as dragons, knights, & princesses to represent each bday person. It was so much fun and people only brought gifts for the person they were invited for. There was one neighbor I had invited that had missed it was a joint party so she felt bad she only brought something for one child but my daughter hadn't even noticed that she didn't get anything from her. The neighbor didn't feel bad about not getting anything for my nephew though since she'd never met him nor did she get anything for my husband.

Since this is a first bday party, you don't really need to do much. For people who aren't family or joint friends, just send separate invites since they can't be expected to bring a second gift and there are people out there that would because they weren't sure if they should or not and they wouldn't want to look stingy. It's not nice to be in that position. I was and I wound up bringing a gift, which is fine since I'm really good friends with that mom now and she loved the craft apron I made her son. I wouldn't change it since that's how we really got to talking but I certainly don't miss that feeling of uncertainty about it. When it comes to gifts being mentioned on the invite, I've always been taught it's OK to say something along the lines that gifts are not expected so it gently lets people off the hook, especially in this situation if you choose to send out joint invites. Congratulations on your little ones birthday!

You should do a combined party announcement for all the guests who know you both and a separate invitation for guests who only know your child. I have two children who have always had their party together. Each year they pick who to invite. If the invite a person knows both kids, we address the invitation as the combined party. If they invite a guest only knows one of the children we address it from only that child. In 5 years of doing things this way, only once has a guest ever questioned the invitation. In that case, the guest mentioned that they didn't know it was the younger child's party too. I assured them that there was no issue that they were invited to celebrate with the child that they knew. They were fine and no issues. However the next year that same guest brought a present for the younger child too.

People have excellent suggestions! I would add to them that you may want to open gifts "after" the party ends. The little ones will have no idea and you can avoid some of the awkwardness by just having gifts placed in another room.

When my son turned 1, we put "please no gifts" on non-family invites b/c he had so much "stuff" and a TON of family members who were chipping-in to buy a play set for him. For those who brought gifts, we thanked them and put them in the other room. We opened the gifts the next day b/c my little guy was so tired after the party ended that he wouldn't have stayed awake to see them!

I would do separate invitations for the guests who only know one child. Don't tell them in advance that it's a joint party. I don't think they will feel awkward when they arrive. I was unknowingly invited to a joint party last year and was really glad not to have known in advance, as I would have debated whether to bring the other child a gift even though I don't really know him. Happy birthday to your baby!

K.
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